My boyfriend and I are kind of in a slump.
He's going through a divorce right now. We're living together, but he's pulling away - either due to depression or just mental chaos over his divorce. I've become more needy as he's pulled away.
I know my needs are important but I also know men can be like children in so many ways... and that most of the time, it's up to the woman to keep things going. I have two questions. What can I tell myself so I can be more supportive of him? And will this slump end?
Girlfriend in a Slump
I don’t agree that men are child-like. I also don’t agree that it’s a woman’s job to maintain the relationship. Just for the record! I think these views are personal to you, with your Cancer moon (mothering) conjunct Saturn (responsible / burden) and your packed 7th house (immense desire to be in a relationship).
Most woman wouldn’t take this guy on in the first place... considering that he’s still married! Now I’m sorry, but I don’t think your slump with this guy will ever end. Let’s see. You got in a relationship with him, before he’d ended an existing one. Before he’d suffered any kind of void, where he might have had the chance to examine things and learn something.
Can you see you’re mothering him? You don’t have a partner here, you have a dependent. Anyone carrying this kind of burden is going to be slumped!
As for your first question, “What can I tell yourself so I can be more supportive?” I think it’s the wrong question to be asking. Here are some better questions:
- Why am I supporting a man who is not supporting me?
- Why did I get in a relationship with a married man?
- Why did I move in with a married man?
- Am I depressed? (I think you are)
- Why am I more worried about this man than I am about myself?
Pictured: Motherhood, ©2005 Buz Tafoya, Oil on canvas