Immigration and My Personal, Cultural Panic Attack - Page 3

I’d jump for joy if immigrants didn’t come to the United States with anti-black or anti-Jewish sentiments. I’d be overjoyed if immigrants didn’t take black jobs because whites often think of Hispanic immigrants as “the minority of preference.” Is it me or are there more Hispanic maids on TV shows than black maids? Is it me or are there more Hispanic secretaries than black secretaries? Are we blacks fated to be on the bottom yet again while another set of immigrants climbs over our backs – using the laws our people died for? It just stresses me out.

The weird thing about all this is that I attend an Ecuadorean Hispanic church! Long story, but God called me to go there even though I didn’t speak a word of Spanish. Perhaps it was the thing to do. Who knows how prejudiced and panic-stricken I would have been if I hadn’t met some nice Ecuadoreans? I must admit, though, when my Ecuadorean neighbor gave me a dirty look and said something rather nasty in Spanish to her friend about me, I actually went to the minister and said, “Are all Ecuadoreans, except born-againers, prejudiced?” He said, "No!" So I'll have to decide to believe my racist neighbors are just regular folks.

Perhaps the old woman who spat in my face when I was a kid felt that same sense of violation and encroachment when she saw the new blacks moving into her neighborhood. She didn’t have to spit in my face, though. I’m a kind-hearted person. I’m not going to spit into an encroacher’s face even if said encroacher is (figuratively) spitting into mine.

It just all makes me so dang tense.

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Article Author: Carole McDonnell

Carole McDonnell's short stories and essays appear online and in print, in speculative fiction, ethnic, and Christian publications. She lives in New York with her husband, two sons, and their pets. Wind Follower, published by Juno Books in June 2007, …

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