I Need an Ice Man - Page 2

Why do we do this to ourselves? We sit at home and watch these movies over and over again hoping we’ll one day meet a passionate guy like this in a store while buying gloves, or on an Internet dating site, or in a club where he happens to be spinning records.

I go shopping alone all the time, I was rejected by eHarmony.com, and I’ve known my share of DJ’s - none of which were anything like any character John Cusack ever played. Look where it's gotten me. I’m sitting in my room alone on a Friday night watching Say Anything over again, this time with the commentary. This is getting me nowhere other than to the nearest Wal-Mart to buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food.

Thank you, John Cusack. I’ll be alone forever because I’ll never find a man who can live up to the characters you play in your sappy romantic comedies. I’ll die alone and fat and thoroughly alone, and on my couch in front of the TV, alone, all because I was holding out hope that I’d find a perfect guy out there waiting to make me an awesome mixed tape.

Maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way. Maybe I’m being too much like Lloyd. He was an optimist in a time when optimism was a revolutionary act. He got hurt, which, while adorable, was heart wrenching. I don’t want to go through that. So, I’ll just be like Lloyd's best friend, "Corey." She did have it all figured out. When you start out with low expectations, everything is a pleasant surprise.

No real man will ever stand out on my lawn holding up a boombox blaring Peter Gabriel. If that ever happened, and it wasn’t John Cusack out there, I’d probably call the cops.
Life isn’t the movies. Maybe it sounds bitter and jaded, but a cute, smart girl can't have high standards these days. Lloyd isn't real. If you're a pathetically romantic masochist like me, though, he is available on DVD.

Article Author: Tami Beyersdoerfer

Tami Beyersdoerfer is a professional writing student at the University of Oklahoma.

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