My afternoon was going well. It was the first day of school, I'd been back from Air Force ROTC field training only a few days, and civilian life felt like paradise. If I had suddenly burst into song, everyone around me probably would have sung backup and performed choreographed dance moves like I was in a musical. Everything was great until I got on the shuttle bus.
Allow me to preface the following by saying that most of the time, I view taking the shuttle as the lesser of two evils. The greater evil, what with being a college student and all, would have been to drop two hundred dollars on a parking permit. While taking the shuttle to and from the free parking lot takes more time, I'm all about saving my benjamins.
Once you get used to it, the shuttle isn't so bad. True, it can be crowded, occasionally late, and nearly always too hot, but these conditions are forgivable. The real issue is when you are forced to deal with one of Them. By that, I mean one of those particular types of people that, if seated nearby, will make your shuttle ride absolutely miserable.
The first of these cretins is the Loud Talker. While this person usually sticks to his or her cell phone, it is possible for two of them to actually be sitting together and interacting in person. You'd think they would cancel each other out or something. That couldn't be further from the truth. Loud Talkers amplify each others' speech exponentially, and quickly exasperate all others in the area. Putting on your headphones helps, but you can still hear them, no matter how loud you crank the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
The second horror you might encounter is the Smelly Nerd. This person is usually male, and won't talk at all, instead choosing to whip out the PSP or DS and get in a little portable gaming. In fact, gaming is the indirect cause of this person's offensive odor. They spend so much time playing videogames that personal hygiene becomes a secondary concern. Rest assured, it will become your primary concern if you encounter one of these people while using public transportation. Your best bet is to open all windows around you (if they open) and hope for some ventilation.
The third destroyer of your public transportation experience is the Overweight Female. I know that sounds sexist, but in my experience the Overweight Male is relatively self-aware, whereas the Overweight Female, whether out of denial or naivety, has an unfortunate tendency to sit in open areas that are clearly narrower than she is. This results in an invasion of what little personal space (and dignity) you have on a bus. Furthermore, there is no acceptable recourse in this situation that isn't incredibly rude and socially unacceptable. Just close your eyes and try to think happy thoughts until the ride is over.
Article comments
1 - Joanne Huspek
In Oklahoma? That makes sense. I love public transportation in places like the Twin Cities, and the best anywhere has to be in San Francisco.
2 - bliffle
Valley transit Authority in San Jose is very good. I just took VTA 40 and 22 yesterday to pick up my car in Santa Clara from Los Altos. The 40 is every 1/2 hr. it arrives on time one block away and went smoothly to connect with the 22 on El Camino. 45 minutes to my destination, 75 cents.
I can get from here to SFO in just under an hour on the 7F SFO express for $1. If I drive to Anza longterm parking ($10/day) I get to the gate in 45 minutes. Pretty good deal.
Surprisingly, Bay Area Rapid transit is less useful: it took 1.5 hrs. to get to a concert at Zellerbach on UC campus with BART, making one connection, then walking 15 minutes.
The best in San Mateo county is Para Transit, which you get to use if you have a disability or are recuperating from surgery, in which case you pay $1.50 for door-to-door service in a small van or Ford Crown Vic. Just call a number and arrange a pickup time.
3 - Tan The Man
You'll encounter homeless people using SF Bay Area public transportation who usually keep to themselves, but seemingly make everyone around theme visually uncomfortable.
4 - zingzing
buy a car.
5 - Brian Murff
@zingzing:
I've got one, thanks. I just don't see the sense in paying two hundred bucks for the privilege of parking half a mile closer to my college's campus.
Believe it or not, I really am a fan of public transportation. It's just a little half-baked where I currently live.
6 - Adrian McNally
I think you make some good points about public transporation, however I'll point out that your references to "smelly nerds" and "overweight females" was not acceptable. I have had plenty of experiences where overweight males squeeze into a place that they clearly can't fit into. You should have said, "overweight people". It's not just the women who are your problem. Men are actually the culprits more so as even when we're fit, we take up more space, it's socially acceptable and expected that we do, so we make no effort to keep our arms to our sides or tuck them in or stand with our feet together as women do. Observe that next time and you'll see what I mean. I have to work hard not to do this myself.