My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech in Detroit, 7 Oct. 1952
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[Y]our mother was a hamster & your father smelt of elderberrys!
Monty Python & The Holy Grail
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Does freedom offend you as it does me? Lets hope so. After all, if you live in this society, you are likely offended each and every day.
Maybe it was the guy in the car next to you blasting acid rock music to everyone within a 20 block radius. Perhaps it was some religious kook who tried to hand you some kind of religious pamphlet on the street.
One way or another, all those losers have chosen to inconvenience you in some way. They want to sell you something or show you something or disagree with you on something, or any one of a million "somethings" that suits them and annoys you. Who are they, losers that they are, to waste your precious time?
In the United States, its a chronic problem. On a personal note, I could get to work much faster (45 minutes as opposed to 1 hour and 15 minutes) if everyone would either just learn to drive or get out of my way!
So, I have to ask... Is freedom really all it's cracked up to be? Perhaps we could scale back just a bit to make this society a more civil, and civilized, place to live.
I think we should follow this guideline:
If it offends, get rid of it!
So, if we see offensive religious displays, they should be taken down. If a newspaper publishes offensive material, or if a radio/TV broadcasts offensive material, it should be shut down. If some kooky religious group organizes a march on an issue that offends people, they should be arrested!
I think what might be appropriate is the establishment of a group that I will call the "Civil Patrol." The Civil Patrol (CP for short), will have as their primary responsibility the cleanup of this offensive society. Any citizen that sees something offensive can go to the CP and lodge a complaint and the CP will follow-up within 24 hours to assess the level of offense and to issue a ruling.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Jim Carruthers
Y'know there's this thing called Bayesian filtering. And a really good filter to use so you don't waste your time is when somebody uses the phrase "acid rock". It means "full on, out of touch, somewhat creepy, asshat".
But that may just me, your mileage may vary.
2 - Mark Saleski
what, is this KickAStrawManInTheNuts week?
i didn't receive my invite.
plonk.
3 - Dwaine AKA Scooter AKA D.J.
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO NORTH KOREA YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!!! WE DON'T NEED THESE PEOPLE WHO HATE THE MOST PERFECT TYPE OF GOVERNMENT THAT EVER WALKED THE EARTH IN ALL TIME! EVERYONE IS ENTITIED THEIR OWN OPINION IN THIS HERE COUNTRY DICKHEAD! AND IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE SHARING THEIR THOUGHTS TO YOU, MR. FLANAGAN, GO SOMEWHERE WHERE THERE ISN'T ANY FREEDOM! YOU WOULDN'T EVEN SURVIVE THERE, FUCKER. FREEDOM IS WHAT MAKES THIS COUNTRY THE BEST CIVILIZATION EVER! AND THERE WILL NEVER BE A CIVILIZATION LIKE THIS FOREVER MORE! USA, USA, USA! AND EVEN BETTER, FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! HOW 'BOUT THOSE TWO CENTS, ASSHOLE!
4 - Eric Olsen
I felt like I was sitting in the drill sargeant's section at a football game.
I believe this post was meant in a satirical, facetious manner. I think he's on your side, Dwaine.
5 - Jim Carruthers
I think this really needs a donation to the R. Lee Emery FOR THE FUCKING CHILDREN FUND!!!!
Do you not BELIEVE IN THE VIRGIN MARY? WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION!!!???
6 - Al Barger
Speaking on behalf of all people with IQs greater than an Alaskan temperature reading in January, I find Everybody Loves Raymond extremely offensive. That whining little poopie licker has to go.
7 - duane
All right, then. I find that "abs" guy on the TV commercials to be offensive. Where do I complain?
8 - Jim Carruthers
Hey, Al, free advice, your teevee set has an "off" setting, plus you can change the channels. Ask an expert how.
Is this "everybody loves raymond" just a ripoff of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode where every woman in Sunnydale was entranced to fall in love with Xander?
9 - Dwaine AKA Scooter AKA D.J.
Actually Eric, Flanagan is not on my side. I'm a fighter. I belive in freedom and all of thal good stuff. If you want to PRAY AT A TABLE, DO IT! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO DO. YOU, FLANAGAN CANNOT CHANGE THE LAWS OF THIS HERE LAND ASSHOLE. DO YOU NOT BELIVE IN GOD? YOU ATHEIST! Man, I get pissed every time I think about what Flanagan said.
10 - duane
Dwaine, you have to understand that this post is using sarcasm to make a point. I think that if you read the post again... well, give it a try, dude. And where did you get that spelling of Duane?
11 - Al Barger
Duane, by 'that "abs" guy' I hope you do not mean to ban John Basedow commercials. Especially the one with the frosted hair. He looks SO HOT there.
12 - duane
Al, yeah that's the guy. He may be "so hot," but I've already committed my heart to Johnny Depp. Maybe I'm just jealous because I don't have six hours a day to work on my six-pack abs.
13 - David Flanagan
I believe this post was meant in a satirical, facetious manner. I think he's on your side, Dwaine.
Eric,
You are correct sir! Now, I thought I might get some interesting responses and I was fairly certain that at least several people would either just read the title and then blow a fuse, or, perhaps, read the title and the first three sentences, THEN blow a fuse, or read the whole thing, miss the whole point, and have a complete meltdown.
So... I guess that did happen in some form or another. I thought that my little intro blurb to the story might just give those people who weren't sure the little hint they needed to let them know that this was, I hoped, a little moral story for those who insist that the First Amendment is some kind of guarantee that no one will ever be offended by another beliefs.
The point here, of course, that exactly the opposite is true. As they say in the military, "no plan of battle survives contact with the enemy."
David Flanagan
14 - Tom Johnson
Oh, for God's sake, doesn't anyone understand sarcasm and satire? Do I have to whip out the link to Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal? (Well, I suppose I did, since I linked it there.) "Dwaine AKA Scooter AKA D.J.", I highly urge you to read "A Modest Proposal", then go find an high school English teacher to explain to you the finer points of sarcasm and satire present in the piece. You'll be a better person for it, and the world will be a better place for you having learned about the nuances of "dry humor."
15 - Mac Diva
Dwaine, Dwaine, Dwaine. Calm down. David Flanagan is a cluelees reactionary from Free Republic. In other words, he can't - or won't - help himself by actually learning the subject matter he tries to write about. And, if you are a Rightwing Christian fundamentalist, too, you guys could get together and do whatever such people do for . . . pleasure.
This entry was written in response to one Flanagan posted yesterday. In that one, he gets all hot and bothered because the Establishment Clause of the Constitution forbids things he wants to do, such as:
*Allow judges to put symbols of the Ten Commandments in courtrooms and other public buildings.
*Make kids in public schools say the Pledge of Allegiance.
*Put religious propaganda on currency.
*Make Thomas Jefferson's private correspondence the legal basis of government.
'Holy Jerry Falwell!' you say. Ex-act-ly. That is where Flanagan is coming from, though he may prefer Pat Robertson, who looks better than Falwell in an expensive suit.
The First Amendment is not the problem here. The problem is people who want to impose their dictatorial far Right views on the rest of the population and use religion as a weapon to do that.
I've been checking out Flanagan and his cronies at FR for a couple years. (BTW, Atrios has a great treasure trove of some of the material that was removed from the site because the hatred in it it even embarrassed the proprietor.) If those people get the society they want, most of us will not be allowed to live in it. Think American holocaust.
16 - David Flanagan
Hey Mac! :-) I was wondering when you'd show up.
David Flanagan
17 - Mac Diva
Got the rope and jugs of gasoline ready, eh?
18 - Al Barger
Diva, now don't you be whoring around with this new Flanagan guy. I, AL BARGER, am the Great White Devil of Blogcritics. You need to be denouncing ME.
Indeed, I am TOO HOT for Free Republic. I got bounced off the site years ago, with nary a word of explanation. Best I can figure, even just purely my pseudonym ["Bongtalk"]was too offensive for decent folk.
Oh yes Diva, I am FAR more evil than this Flanagan guy. Come and get me!
19 - David Flanagan
Got the rope and jugs of gasoline ready, eh?
Mac,
You are so utterly predictable. You are also one of the most hatefully racist people I've ever met. You've created your own prison.
David Flanagan
20 - Mark Saleski
flanagan, you take smug pills?
...or does it just come naturally?
21 - David Flanagan
flanagan, you take smug pills?
...or does it just come naturally?
Yes. Any other questions?
David Flanagan
22 - Mark Saleski
yes....uhhmmm, lemme think...
ok.
if you're driving your car at a rate approaching the speed of light, and then you turn your headlights on...will your posts still be incredibly transparent?
23 - David Flanagan
if you're driving your car at a rate approaching the speed of light, and then you turn your headlights on...will your posts still be incredibly transparent?
No. At the speed of light (186,000 miles per second or 299,792,458 meters per second) my blog posts actually become more of a bluish green color. Don't ask me why.
Thanks.
David Flanagan
24 - Mac Diva
Bounced from Free Republic? Bah wah ha ha ha! That beats all, Barger. What's next? Dissed by Lucianne?
Seriously, despite your neo-Confederate proclivities, you are not ready for the would-be big time. The people I am talking about at Free Republic have a whole new, 'shitstem' as you say, planned for after the secession. (The First Amendment is the least of what they are dissatisfied with.) And, it is about as authoritarian as one can get, all under the rubric of making the U.S. a more Christian nation. If you would do it, I would suggest you explore the writings of their appointed intellectual leader, Michael Hill, chairman of the League of the South. This is not some fly-by-night interest of mine. I have been exploring the movement Flanagan is part of for years, since I stumbled across it while a reporter in the South.
Careful, Mark, Flanagan has God's ear, allegedly.
25 - David Flanagan
Careful, Mark, Flanagan has God's ear, allegedly.
Actually, it is God who has my ear, not the other way around. And sure, yes, I'm a Yankee who is a member of the League of the South. ;-)
David Flanagan