I Don't Believe Mine Eyes

Author: LonoPublished: Sep 13, 2005 at 3:04 pm 4 comments

A superhero is only as good as his biggest villain. Do you think the world would give two craps about Spiderman if we didn't have Doc Oc, or Green Lantern (or goblin.. whatever)? No, he would just be some Michael Jackson freakshow. Who is Batman when not fighting monster injustice? He is a sad little man in a bad outfit. Not to call myself a superhero... but frankly I am. As a result, I am only as strong as strength of evil and incompetence that I fight... the White House.


Yes, this president is more than the worst president. He is more than a pernicious and insolent genocidal prank monkey for the right. What I was most dazzled by the President is he never apologized... ever. Never once in six years has he said 'my bad. sorry.' Honestly, it is all I have wanted to hear from him since 9/11. I don't even blame him for 9/11, but it happened on his watch. So, a simple sorry would have meant a lot to the american people.


Even more fun was when the president rushed to the disaster from vacation to congradulate FEMA for doing such a stand up job. Of course, we now know that FEMA director Jerky McAssface was working on a press release congradulating the job of FEMA... rather than doing the job of FEMA. True story, the AP put it out last week.

This administration is a lot like the Fonz. They are so convinced that everything they do is right, they can't even utter the word 'wrong'. Anyhow, something happened today that hasn't happened in five years. It was something almost cataclysmic in its scope. The president went on live TV and uttered something that still leaves me completely freaked out. I spent the morning crying in the basement. Everything I once knew and held true was now gone. Remember when you caught your parents having sex? Yeah, freaked you out a bit didn't it? This was worse. The president... your president... took accountability for something for the very first time in his presidency. no, serious. The president today did the very thing I have been begging him to do for four years -

Bush: 'I take responsibility.'

So, what do I do now? I mean, he has: admitted error, apologized, and taken swift action to remedy the FEMA debacle. That is real life leadership. Oh well, it is probably a fluke. One last thing, because I can not resist: go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney.

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Article Author: Lono

Lono rambles on about everything at his home page I am Correct and more specifically about music here at the Phantom Blog . He lives in Colorado, and pretends he doesn't care what you think... but I think we both know he secretly does.

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  • 1 - Nancy

    Sep 13, 2005 at 2:20 pm

    Wait! WAIT! Don't leave me/us in the lurch like this - WHAT DID HE APOLOGIZE FOR?????!!!!! Ohmigawd, I'll have to find me a basement to go cry in, too. Details, please?

  • 2 - Bennett

    Sep 13, 2005 at 3:06 pm

    Great stuff, Lono. But I suspect he was apologizing for something like not getting god to hold off on the hurricane thingy.

  • 3 - Lono

    Sep 13, 2005 at 3:16 pm

    He accepteed responsibility for the epic fiasco that was the government's response to Hurricane Katrina. Specifically the fact that FEMA waited days to do anything, and turned away everyone who asked to help.

  • 4 - Keith Sikora

    Sep 13, 2005 at 3:19 pm

    I don't think Green Lantern was ever a villain of Spiderman, man. Lantern is DC, Spiderman is marvel. Unless you're thinking of the Marvel vs. DC cross-over special, but in that case Spiderman fought Superboy; Green Lantern fought Silver Surfer (and lost, ridiculously enough). Regardless, still a good point you make about Bush and all.

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