Chantal Stone wrote an insightful post on society's concept of beauty, on how we try to conform to it and let the prejudices trickle down to our children. It set me thinking about my own mother. My mother never cared for outward appearances; it was the mirror within that she wanted us to polish.
Her rules were simple: study hard and be good human beings. She never paid us compliments, never hugged us, but in her own ways showed us that she loved us with little acts of concern. Freshly squeezed juice with lots of ice used to wait for us when we returned from school all hot and sweaty; she would diligently fan us with a newspaper when there would be an electricity shortage as we studied, brewed fresh cups of coffee as we studied through the night for our exams, and stayed up at night by our bedside while we tossed and turned with high fever.
Not once did she tell us that she was proud of us, but her actions spoke out loud. She sheltered us from society's pressures to conform to certain ideas of beauty. She took us to the trendiest stores to shop, but never told us girls how pretty we looked in our new clothes. She merely nodded and talked about the books we were currently reading, discussed politics with us, took us to the theater, and kept an eagle eye on the company we kept at school.
She hated my taste in books (romance novels) and frequently raided my stash to check what I was reading. She worried about me when I went through my wild days, but knew that I wouldn't divert too far as she had built a strong base.
I stayed away from drugs, boys and school books. I discovered my untamed spirit, the beauty of being a loner, of being locked in my room for hours only to emerge for food and go back in again. She let me find myself, dig deep enough to hate myself for not being what she wanted me to be, and then love myself for not conforming to her image of what a daughter should be.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - chantal stone
Thanks for the mention, swingingpuss.....
You are absolutely beautiful, and extremely blessed. My goal is to give my children that very same gift.
2 - deepti lamba
Thanks chantal, we need to empower our kids with the right attitude towards life
3 - Mark Bellinghaus
I have an absolute stupid Question, here on mothers day: Can you explain to me the deeper meaning of that name?
I am serious, but is that supposed to be funny?
I mean--shall I call myself "swiningschlong"?
If that name is still available. Can I write an article and post it for fathersday called "I am my father's son" or would that be plagirissm?
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ALL YOU SWINGERS!
4 - Mark Bellinghaus
Puss as of OCTOPUSS or PUSSIE CAT? OR what else could it be?
5 - swingingpuss
Swiningschlong? Well, if you want to call yourself by that name who is to stop you?
And what's your resentment against mothers or this post or this nickname?
6 - Mark Bellinghaus
LOL!
And when I spoke to my mother today to wish her a happy mothers day, I would not dare to call her even lovingly a "SWINGINGPUSS".
That is a bit too much. Don't you agree?
7 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Mark,
At least you could call your mother to wish her a happy mother's day. For me (or for my wife) such a call would be a miraculous event and would be quite a "long distance" (even though it is said that such calls are not "long distance" from Jerusalem...
Count yourself lucky.
I had the same question you did upon encountering this moniker, by the way. I clicked on the URL for greater understanding and got it. I suggest you do likewise.
8 - swingingpuss
Your mother? Now why would I or anyone want your mother to be called 'the puss that swings'? But then again we women do have a little cat/puss in us that swings no matter what be our age.
As such I rather you didn't drag your mother into this conversation as she is 'your ma' and I dont like to talk about people I dont know or have no interaction with.
9 - Mark Bellinghaus
Ruvy! I did actually--and we talked for quite some time--I also sent her flowers which will have to be repeated in two day, when she is celebrating her birthday. Seems like those people who celebrate their birthdays right around Christmas or Hannukkah. Tough luck and then nothing for the rest of the year?
Not with me--I am a good son and I never would dare to call mom "swingingpuss" I do not think I would survive that one! lol
10 - swingingpuss
Ruvy, I hope my site lives up to the pseudonym ;)
11 - Mark Bellinghaus
Thanks Ruvy for the enlightment--I just did and it got actually W-O-R-S-E! I clicked on the URL and found a shocking article that is titled"JESUS LOVES YOU--BUT I THINK YOU'RE A CUNT!"
I never use the "C"word except in traffic when my top is up and they can not hear me. I call especially guys who shave their beard in the car, just that. Never a chick. That is disrespectful. Like calling a bump a loser or something. I just would never do that.
In LA they would shoot you for that and less. lol
12 - Mark Bellinghaus
Deepti, if that is correct--do not sweat it, as I am not even religious. I saw a show about the "anti-christ" on history channel last night and now I am looking for the person who would fit the most and best into that discription--maybe because we are so close to 6-6-06? lol
13 - swingingpuss
------yawn----Mark we arent in LA now are we?
Never a chick? why you are so gracious( fluttering my eyes)..guess you lost the humor somewhere between Vegas and LA...or wait a minute, you never had it to begin with.
You are welcome to your interpretation of my name just as I am welcome to interpret your supercilious, chauvinistic belching as complete balderdash:)
14 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
SW,
Fine piece of writing. Your lead says it all - you made peace with your mother before it was too late. Wise woman... May you teach them your wisdom, (and hers) and may they follow in your footsteps...
15 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
SW
I had checked out your website a long time ago - before you had decided to change the direction of your writing. It lives up to the pseudonym and more...
16 - swingingpuss
Thanks Ruvy, you are very gracious as usual :)
I am indebted to my parents for a lot of things.
17 - Mark Bellinghaus
You are welcome to your interpretation of my name just as I am welcome to interpret your supercilious, chauvinistic belching as complete balderdash:)
OMG
I am so hurt now! Are you one of those tough men--trapped in a woman's body? Like that Jet in Columbus wonder?
Nice to know that now TWO people hate me--or is it 20? I stopped counting.666
You know what? Call your mom whatever you want--but if someone is making a comment about that weird name, please do not get upset. And yes, I still have humor--which you obviously do not.
Can you just let go? A new day a new week and no more cat fights, please. Not even swingingpssuy fights. Good LUCK to you. P-E-A-C-E
18 - zingzing
whew! there's an asshole in here, and it stinks!
19 - swingingpuss
Zingzing, Mark's out of the blue, uncalled for remarks just affirmed my belief that sanity is a rare quality online;)
20 - Mark Bellinghaus
And I thought that ATTACKS ARE NOT ALLOWED? My answer was erased, by you, swingerpussy? Strange--but his ugly comment and attack: #18 is still there?
You really are someone's daughter and you should be proud!
Did your mom ever love you?
Obviously not.
21 - swingingpuss
Mark, I dont have 'godly powers' to delete comments on this site nor am I the 'love child' of JFK and Marilyn Monroe that you could be so definite about the love that existed between my mom and me.
22 - Mark Bellinghaus
YOU ARE LUCKY AND MAYBE I AM JEALOUS CAUSE MY MOM WAS TOO BUSY WITH MY OTHER 4 SIBLINGS...?!
23 - swingingpuss
huh?
24 - Matthew T. Sussman
Bellinghaus, do a couple things for us:
(1) That key next to the "A"? Press it once.
(2) Write better comments.
25 - chantal stone
(3) take your meds