Like I said, I'm not going to get all touchy-feely with you here. I have a picture of Samuel L. Jackson looking down on me. I used to have a lovely calligraphy that translated into "Calm". I took it down. I am not calm. I'm not mindlessly floating around in an illusion. I'm not here to stay comfortable and to preach a little "I'm okay, you're okay" at you.
Psst...Hey, Laura, I thought you said you were going to write love letters?
Um...this doesn't seem that loving to me...I mean.."
Au contraire, my friend. I'm saying this precisely because I DO love. You see, once you look at someone through eyes that allow you to face their impermanence in your life...once you REALLY get this...you will get very clear very quickly on what being in love with someone really means. It's not about ornamentation and earning potential. It's about embracing the fundamental, essential humanity that is common to us. It's about showing up with no mask on. It is the scariest and most beautiful thing we can ever do.
I've given you much to absorb here so I'll leave you now to pour another cup of tea. Maybe you might want to pick up a pen and a paper and just start with this sentence:
"I don't know how long I will get to be with you, so while I have you here there is something I want you to know about what it means to have you in my life..."
Edited: LH
Article comments
1 - Dan
I have no idea who you are or what else you've ever written (this came to me from a poorly matched google alert) but I think you are wise & I very much enjoyed sharing your wisdom & your beautiful writing. Thanks
2 - Nancy
I had the extreme good fortune to have spent the last years of my dad's life letting him know I loved him & was grateful for all he did for me, & not bringing up the (sometimes bad) things he did to me. When he died, I wasn't devastated, I wasn't even sorry or depressed. He'd been sick a long time, he wasn't happy, & he was finally out of it. Having that peace between us was worth everything. So I've been doing same to everyone I can. My stepmom - the best christmas present I ever got in my life, & I let her know it, too; my friends; even my neighbors. In proper degrees, of course. But it's so nice to let someone know you appreciate them, even in ways they don't know about for things they don't realize they do for you. I tell total strangers how nice they look (when they do); just out of the blue, a compliment like that can make someone's day. I bought the kid who loaded groceries into my car a soda; he wasn't expecting it. An unexpected freebie is always a nice thing. Tipping isn't allowed, but there's no rule against buying him a soda on a hot day. My neighbor's granddaughter loves flowers. I remember when I was a little kid, I loved picking flowers. so I gave her carte blanche in my garden, and one particularly floriferous plant is 'hers', to strip as she chooses. We also planted a scarlet runner bean that's 'hers'. This little 5 year old is turning into a serious gardener who weeds & prunes, and is starting to enjoy living plants as well as picked flowers. And often as not, just saying 'hi', or acknowledging someone's existance can be such a lift for them, especially when they're in a position where everyone passes them by like furniture, like receptionists, security people, etc. Homeless, poor, or the elderly, too. Don't just walk on by as if they were invisible; at the least make eye contact & smile. As I know, sometimes just being acknowledged, that you exist, can make you feel so much better, even for a few moments, it's worth it.
3 - Bennett
Very inspirational, Laura. Thanks! Time to write to my wife.
4 - Laura Young
Thank you all for the wonderful comments, and for extending the dialogue. We're all in this together. I'm glad our paths have found a way to cross.
5 - monica
i love someone but his not and he didn't know that i love him what can't of litter i can write to him
6 - Duane
Ideealy won that wont confyooze the hell out of him with runnon sentances and bad speling that is no way to tell some1 u luv him what if he duznt no litter is spozed 2 b letter i mean cmon monica