This issue continues to get lots of hits at my website but some of you aren't likely to head over there, unless you want to discover the awful truth that I was a Greg Brady look alike in a former life. This was spurred by a particularly moving evening with my husband. (Clean it up, monkey butt, I'm not talking that kind of moving.) I thought you all might like to read it. Enjoy.
Let's talk about writing love letters.
Not candy coated pap. Not romance novel fantasy crap. Not "chick" stuff.
Real love letters.
Years ago I asked my first coach if he would write an endorsement for me. This is what Drew Rozell wrote:
"Laura is truth. Laura is love."
Whoa.
That was a lot for me to take in. I mean, substitute your own name up there and sit with it for a while. It's a lot to live up to.
So, I wasn't sure the world wanted truth and love. And I wasn't all that sure that I wanted to lay my heart out to you like that. So I splashed in those fun waves where no one has to worry about drowning, (like teaching folks how to write websites, identify their niche markets, brand their businesses, or organize their time, and get some balance in life...)
And then someone asked me a few months ago if I could teach her to watch ants.
Not increase profits, or get more stuff, or be more famous or popular or powerful.
To watch ants.
And my heart started to perk up ... was this permission to go THERE?!
And then one of the dearest people I know lost her husband.
She is my age, 42. It is not for me to share her story here but I will tell you it was sudden.
It was a 4 a.m. knock at the door.
It was "No we can't let you look at him."
It makes me cry even as I type this.
So, I was sitting across from my own husband the other night. We haven't missed a dinner together in months now, no matter how late we work or how late we eat. We know a wake up call when we hear one.
We were sitting there and I shared how my friend was doing and he took a bite of his food. The food was excellent. The kind that makes you close your eyes and turns off every other sense. And then his eyes welled up and he talked about the tsunami and all those kids who have been devastated with losses of their parents. Scott works in pediatric rehab and they have had a rough year. Several deaths and stories that have become increasingly tragic.
Article comments
1 - Dan
I have no idea who you are or what else you've ever written (this came to me from a poorly matched google alert) but I think you are wise & I very much enjoyed sharing your wisdom & your beautiful writing. Thanks
2 - Nancy
I had the extreme good fortune to have spent the last years of my dad's life letting him know I loved him & was grateful for all he did for me, & not bringing up the (sometimes bad) things he did to me. When he died, I wasn't devastated, I wasn't even sorry or depressed. He'd been sick a long time, he wasn't happy, & he was finally out of it. Having that peace between us was worth everything. So I've been doing same to everyone I can. My stepmom - the best christmas present I ever got in my life, & I let her know it, too; my friends; even my neighbors. In proper degrees, of course. But it's so nice to let someone know you appreciate them, even in ways they don't know about for things they don't realize they do for you. I tell total strangers how nice they look (when they do); just out of the blue, a compliment like that can make someone's day. I bought the kid who loaded groceries into my car a soda; he wasn't expecting it. An unexpected freebie is always a nice thing. Tipping isn't allowed, but there's no rule against buying him a soda on a hot day. My neighbor's granddaughter loves flowers. I remember when I was a little kid, I loved picking flowers. so I gave her carte blanche in my garden, and one particularly floriferous plant is 'hers', to strip as she chooses. We also planted a scarlet runner bean that's 'hers'. This little 5 year old is turning into a serious gardener who weeds & prunes, and is starting to enjoy living plants as well as picked flowers. And often as not, just saying 'hi', or acknowledging someone's existance can be such a lift for them, especially when they're in a position where everyone passes them by like furniture, like receptionists, security people, etc. Homeless, poor, or the elderly, too. Don't just walk on by as if they were invisible; at the least make eye contact & smile. As I know, sometimes just being acknowledged, that you exist, can make you feel so much better, even for a few moments, it's worth it.
3 - Bennett
Very inspirational, Laura. Thanks! Time to write to my wife.
4 - Laura Young
Thank you all for the wonderful comments, and for extending the dialogue. We're all in this together. I'm glad our paths have found a way to cross.
5 - monica
i love someone but his not and he didn't know that i love him what can't of litter i can write to him
6 - Duane
Ideealy won that wont confyooze the hell out of him with runnon sentances and bad speling that is no way to tell some1 u luv him what if he duznt no litter is spozed 2 b letter i mean cmon monica