When you frame the statement that will become your affirmation, adjust the picture you paint so that you can state it in the present tense. State your goal as if it were already present. This does not mean stating over and over again “I weigh 120 pounds” when you really weigh 140. Your body knows when you are lying, even to yourself, and will sabotage this every time. But if you want to weigh 120 pounds because that’s the weight you were when you ran your last marathon, dig into how running that marathon makes you feel.
Notice I didn’t say “made” you feel. How do you feel when you imagine it right now? Proud, ecstatic, accomplished, powerful? Whatever it is, make that the basis of your present-tense affirmation. “I am an accomplished, powerful person who is proud of my accomplishments.” You are accomplished and powerful if you’ve run that marathon, you never lose that because it’s an amazing feat that says something about what you are capable of doing. And you have an accomplishment worthy of pride.
This affirmation says nothing about weight loss or numbers or even about the future specifically. What it does affirm is the feeling you’re cultivating by working toward and accomplishing your goal. What it does affirm is the actual power you have within you to create that goal.
So what’s wrong with “I will find a mate next month” and “I will beat Martha’s sales in May”? Both rely on factors outside your control, invite you to try to control others, and judge your inability to do so. They set you up for failure and unwittingly reinforce the very behaviors and habits that separate you from realizing what you want. Comparison statements are direct invitations to criticism and habitual behavior. Instead, reframe the intention in terms of deep meaning and motivation.
By creating positive affirmations of what you can honestly value, and concentrating on cultivating in the present moment, you’ll direct your awareness toward the power to dissolve habitual ways of reacting and create new and conscious ways of relating to your world.