THE LEGENDARY ROSA Parks passed away this week at the age of 92, prompting millions of Americans to recollect which civil rights icon she was.
"She wasn't the jazz singer. And she wasn't the caged bird lady. I think she was the bus one."
PARKS'S FUNERAL IS slated for November 2. If you really want to show your appreciation, sit in the front row of the funeral, and don't budge even if her family asks you to move. Rosa would have wanted it that way.
TURNING TO POLITICAL news, Lewis "Scooter" Libby resigned as Dick "Moped" Cheney's chief of staff, and will no doubt be replaced by Harriet "Segway" Miers, said White House press secretary Scott "Hoverboard" McClellan.
FISHER DEBERRY, THE head football coach for the Air Force Academy, apologized for saying that Afro-American players run "very, very well." Understandably so, he is now perceived as being bigoted, dated, and not with the times. After all, nobody calls them Afro-American anymore. It's "gangsta-ass brothas."
IN MORE BLATANTLY obvious sports news, the Chicago White Sox defeated the Houston Astros in four straight games. In a statement released today, the Colorado Rockies said, "That's nothin'. We could have lost that series in three games."
BARBARA BUSH, WHO attended the two games in Houston, spoke candidly on the home team, noting that since this was the first-ever World Series appearance for the Astros, the postseason was working very well for them.
BUT PERHAPS THE SuperStars didn't win a single game against the Pale Hose because, as it was pointed out to the media, they had no African Americans on their roster. Word is their anonymous source was Fisher DeBerry.
IN THE WEEK that was Indictmentpalooza, vintage collector Tom Noe was among those who surrendered to authorities this week, on charges of laundering campaign donations to President Bush. As of last week, Noe was planning on posting bond in baseball cards until he realized his collection was 1,000 Brad Lidge All-Star cards.
Article comments
1 - Aaman
Darkly brilliant! Will this be a regular feature?
2 - Matthew T. Sussman
The Puddle has always been here and there, but I've always failed to keep something consistently going.
3 - c black
none
4 - LIL JON(YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)
By SAYIN GET OFF THA BUS ROSA!!!!!!
5 - Phillip Winn
Funny, funny stuff, Matt.
6 - Matthew T. Sussman
I sincerely apologize for that Dr. Suess ripoff.
7 - I really don't like this
This was not a nice comment made about Rosa Parks - couldn't you simply not made one. It is not necessary to make a mockery of her passing for she is very important to many, obviously not you!
8 - Phillip Winn
#7 -- It's humor. It's funny. And it is no disrespect to Mama Parks to laugh, now or at any other time.
9 - ha ha! so funny....
NOT!!!! ok- a woman died here- a woman who is a hero and icon to many... perhaps the authors here don't agree with her position or even the whole idea behind civil rights, but don't disrepect a woman who's no longer with us to get a few laughs...
10 - me
do i detect an underlying racist tone here???
11 - Silas Kain
Dear God, give Matt a break! This piece was "darkly brilliant" -- and the Rosa stuff wasn't even the subject of the whole work. I'm with Mr Sussman, Rosa would have wanted it thst way. We are too damn sensitive about being politically correct. There's racism in America. Deal with it, talk about it and get over it. By keeping silent and not putting it out on the table we're enabling racism to continue.
Yeah I'm a white male. I'm lucky to be a white male. As Chris Rock says what black man in his right mind wants to be black? I wouldn't want to be black. It's bad enough that I'm queer. Imagine if I were a black, gay Jew! Good gravy, I'd be getting it from all sides! As far as I'm concerned we should be saying the "N" word out loud over and over again until we're desensitized. The same goes for queer, faggot, etc. My 14 year old female cousin serves on her high school diversity club. She says every racial epithet imaginable. When I asked her why, she made a very salient point. Instead of hiding in the shadows and not saying the words, get them out. Don't give the words the power. Very wise coming from a well-adjusted teenager. Oh, and by the way, I'll walk by her and she'll make comments like "queer" or "faggot" at me. People look in horror but I get it. They're just words.
12 - Matthew T. Sussman
"Genius is never understood in its own lifetime." -- Woody Paige
13 - David
And then you all woke up and stepped into the real world.
14 - jacob walker
what were thay thing of throwing rosa parks in jail
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