Dear Elsa,
I have a very big problem with my best girlfriend of over a decade. To be blunt, the problem is her meanness. She is a person who, on a regular basis, says extremely nasty and hurtful things to me and the rest of our mutual friends.
I don't mean to make her sound so atrocious, but I can't seem to help it. My husband and most of my friends do not like her at all, since she has something nasty to say about everyone and everything. Now I know it may be hard to believe, but I still love her. We have A LOT of history, and she hasn't always been a bad friend.
I am afraid of many things if I decide to cut her out of my life. I'm afraid of losing a part of my teenage years that I hold very special, I'm afraid of losing her rare moments of understanding; I'm afraid of losing my best friend. Unfortunately, the fact is, in many ways, I have already lost her. I can't tell her my secrets; she blabs. I can't share my triumphs; she accuses me of conceit. I can't share my difficulties; she's rarely supportive.
I'm a Cancer — a water and moon baby — and if you haven't already guessed, I'm a very sensitive, compassionate, "love, light, and fairy dust" kind of girl. I consider my friends to be my family. Cutting her from my life would be sad, painful and difficult - and I don’t usually just give up on those that I love.
I'm torn. What should I do?
Torn
Dear Torn,
I believe you believe your story and I’d believe it too... if you didn’t have a big fat Moon Pluto conjunction in the eighth house! Since you do, I think this situation has a much deeper root... er... roots. See, you’re a Cancer and I will buy the Moon baby bit and the associations with “family”. I will also buy the “fairy dust” part, considering you’re a Pisces rising.
Article comments
1 - Liisa
I hate somebody I call ''my friend.'' I hate her. I really HATE HER, but if I don't be nice to her her best friend will stop being my friend and she's the nice one. And if anyone emails me and tells me to give her a chance. I will get so mad!!!! And get this I'm going to her sleep over party and giving her the worst gift!!! And when everyone is asleep.....
2 - rachel
Well I can relate. Just lose her. She's probably intimidated to see you so happy and have such nice husband etc. Maybe her life is good but she wants to be "the only best" one- so she's ticked to see you so happy. Conclusion? Tell her go bully someone else! Oh yeah and tell her she needs therapy. Shes prolly a very low self-esteem person. Trust me, if you stay any longer around her, you will feel yucky inside, its like you are walking on egg-shells (wondering what she'll say next!)
3 - Monnette
Liisa,
Why do you need ths girl friend that you really hate? Her best friend is niceto you,but both of them have figured out that you will putup with mean behavior because you seem needfull of any friendship, That might be the reason why this girl you hate trats you with very little respect. My advice to you is act like your fine with them or with out them, go your own way, trust me they will get the message that you will not stand around waiting for them to be nice to you. Y ou deserve respect and love just like they do. What you must do before you try and make friends with anyone is to findout who you are, get involved with sports or art classes, or dancing classes, find what makes you special first before lettingothers tell you what your worth is. Before you know it you will have new friends who treat you rightnot when they feel like it. Be smart at somthing or many things, you will come out the winner. basiclly you do not have time for mean people and you can do better then the mean girl. Forget about them for awhile, you will see, ifyou take care of yourself first others will come to you. thats a promise.
4 - sophie
im on my school years and i have 3 totally best friends. I told on of them she wasn't doing something right and she said i was being cheeky. then she said i wasnt doing it right and i was. I went of to a mate and asked her what to do. she said just hang around with me. i was playing around with her and i didnt know it happened but my 3 best friends formed a 'best freinds club'! the next day i said, "are yous in a club or something?" one of them said "yeah." then i said "can me and jessie join?" then one of them said, "the assignments were yesterday and never again." then i said "i didnt know it happened. i was hanging round with jessie you could of asked me." now they keep secrets from me and are really mean and nasty. So now jessie is my best friend and those 3 girls are my worst enemies.
Because they're my enemies, life, is a bowl of cherries!