I got tired of being told I was "grumpy" by my family ... so I looked deep inside myself to see what was going on. I finally came to the realization that I've been trying to live in a messy home, and it's taking a huge toll on my stress and happiness level.
It all sounds so stupid when I put it on paper: I like a clean and organized home.
It’s good for my soul! I am far from overly compulsive about it, but I hate things to be left lying around. Dishes left in the sink, clothes on the floor, numerous undone projects I have to look at every day ... I find that when I come home, I cannot sit and relax while this crap is all around me. I have to pick up first before I can even sit down and unwind from the day.
I want my home to be my sanctuary, to rejuvenate me - and it's not, it's draining me. I'm tired of telling my 21 year-old daughter and my husband what I expect. They both know it by now, but it’s not important to them. Yet they will both make comments about me being crabby and grumpy.
I finally realized my crabby-grumpies are brought on by this situation. And to think, all along I’ve thought it was some chemical imbalance or stupid fault in me. This seems like a dumb reason to want to kick out my daughter and divorce my husband. But then I sit and think how great and nurturing and wonderful it would be to have my home back again clean and easy to find things in, and space and time alone.