Harley Davidson - How Do I Hate Thee

We in the D.C. area just go treated to another tiresome rolling Geritol commercial. Thousands of RUBs [Rich Urban Bikers] came to the area on their Harley Davidson motorcycles, polluting the area with the sounds of troubled G.I. tracts.

Here's why I hate Harleys and the dweebs who ride them:

1. For encouraging dentists to wear leather.

2. For giving away a case of DentuCreme with every new hog.

3. For disenfranchising real tough guys. The true scum and lowlifes that made Harley fearsome either can't afford them or are ashamed to ride them. [Maybe they can become part of a protected class.]

4. For their thumping pipes, which serve no function, except to disrupt the peace.

5. For riding two abreast, because they have no balls.

6. For diluting an authentic piece of Americana.

7. For the fat asses I see spilling over the ever wider seats.

8. For the stupid looks on their faces when they drive down the street. Look at me, I'm cool!

9. For their endless, and now meaningless, displays of flag waving patriotism. It is a soulless piece of the branding effort.

10. For how shiny and endlessly chromed out their their bikes are -- another sign they are just part of a laundry list of toys -- and not an intrinsic part of their lifestyle.

11. For the wimps from Ohio and North Carolina who drive them here on trailers -- pulled behind minivans!

Harley has become a joke.

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  • 1 - Doug Harris

    May 27, 2003 at 11:17 am

    Whoa. You are gonna get ripped if any of them can read. In Michigan they seem to be letting the Hardly Ablesons get louder and louder, supposedly for safety. If my car made half as much noise I'd get a ticket a day. Amazing that so many big burly fellas can be found wearing tassels, leather, and fake pony tails.

  • 2 - Doug Harris

    May 27, 2003 at 11:18 am

    Whoa. You are gonna get ripped if any of them can read. In Michigan they seem to be letting the Hardly Ablesons get louder and louder, supposedly for safety. If my car made half as much noise I'd get a ticket a day. Amazing that so many otherwise burly fellas can be found wearing tassels, S&M style leather, and fake pony tails.

  • 3 - Doc

    Sep 26, 2003 at 9:56 am

    I'm a doc. Ride a Harley. ....and I can still kick your sorry couch potatoing computer operating ass. lol
    Much rather drive a bike made by American hands than some import.

  • 4 - TDavid

    Sep 26, 2003 at 10:00 am

    Harleys with their distinctive sound, I think are some of the coolest bikes around. I'm not a biker but I think what's posted here border on fighting words for bikers. I'd stay out of biker bars that are wired and read blogcritics for awhile, Frank :)

  • 5 - Andy

    Oct 09, 2003 at 12:10 am

    What's the matter Dougie, too much of a pussy to ride one so lets complain. At least we get off our fat asses and have some fun and a lot of time even help the less fortunate with all the bike rides and and charity rides. And doesn't it seem that it's 95% Harley riders that are riding and donating.
    So stay on your chicken shit ass and keep complaining...it sounds like what you do best.

  • 6 - Frost

    Oct 09, 2003 at 12:21 am

    FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

  • 7 - RICK

    Nov 20, 2003 at 10:59 am

    HEY NANCY BOY.I RIDE IN THE MIDWEST.
    AND I PROMISE I DONT RIDE WITH RUBS.
    I INVITE YOUR PUSSY ASS TO COME VISIT US AT THE NEXT RUN.I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT REAl bikers do to little yuppie bastards like yourself!!!!!!!

  • 8 - Eric Olsen

    Nov 20, 2003 at 11:17 am

    Hey Rick, chill big guy, Frank has disappeared into the sunset. You are threatening the air.

  • 9 - Adam

    Dec 03, 2003 at 6:52 pm

    Harley Davidson's increased popularity keeps the company around so we can all continue to enjoy them. That's a good thing.


    Adam Studnicki

    Injury Lawyer
    Studnicki, Jaffe & Woods, PLLC
    http://www.sjwlawyers.com

  • 10 - Eric Olsen

    Dec 03, 2003 at 6:55 pm

    Hmm, now we have the hybrid approach in the above comment.

  • 11 - duane

    Dec 03, 2003 at 7:39 pm

    Gentlemen, gentlemen. It's not important what kind of bike you do or don't ride. All that matters is whether or not you can kick the shit out of pudsmears that disagree with you. Let's get our priorities straight.

    Duane
    Big Bad Ass Thermonuclear Mofo
    Gouge, Kickem, & Stomp
    California, USA
    736-5000

  • 12 - Mike

    Dec 12, 2003 at 1:26 pm

    When you can convince me that the "Harley" you bought for 40 grand can surpass the technology of a bike that cost less than 1/2 that, is faster and more reliable, will not rattle my teeth out, and won't leak oil all over my garage, I will pay that. Until then, realize that just because it is made here in America, doesn't mean it is worth 40 grand. Keep your pussy comments to yourself as I ride and import and can still kick a HARDLY riders ass any day of the week, on or OFF the bike!!

  • 13 - Dew

    Dec 12, 2003 at 1:38 pm

    I now understand the true mean of over-compensating.

  • 14 - Dew

    Dec 12, 2003 at 1:38 pm

    I now understand the true meaning
    of over-compensating.

  • 15 - Dean

    Jan 14, 2004 at 3:52 am

    $40,000 Harley? I don't think so. My 99 Dyna was $13,000. My 03 Deuce was $17,800, my wife's 03 Sportster was $7,000. And yes, they were brand new. And no, they don't leak oil. Harley's haven't had that problem for many, many, years. My 76 Kawasaki 900 on the other hand, leaks like oil its free. But what the hell...its got a lot of very hard miles on it. My 03 Honda RC51, now there is a bad ass bike...and no, it doesn't leak, its brakes are awesome,power is crazy, and guess what? It was built in America too....So please, please shut up. I will admit to a degree of embarrasment when riding my Harley around RUBS. They don't get it either. Most people don't. Harley is NOT A LIFESTYLE !!! Its just a motorcycle. GOOD GOD!!! I am not a BIKER, NEVER HAVE BEEN!!!! I AM A MOTORCYCLIST, ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE !!!! I love all of them....CMON, quit living Harley's marketing dream. You people are like cattle being led around.

  • 16 - butt trumpet

    Feb 24, 2004 at 7:00 pm

    Harleys are what they are..slow and steady, save for the v rod. yes they are overpriced and yes, some of their mounts are total douchebags, but its ride whatever, as long as you ride.
    Long live Hinckley Triumphs, bitch.

  • 17 - eric

    Mar 21, 2004 at 5:46 am

    i agree with mike. if my honda vibrated like a harley i'd know it was time to junk it. harleys rattle like that straight out of the box. to each his own, but for me the combination of high price and low reliability, poor performance and handling, poor engineering etc. does not add up to a good product. and the loud pipes save lives argument ... good defensive driving techniques save lives. i feel safer being able to hear the wind noise of an approaching car in a different lane before i see it. and harley enthusiasts are such snobs about the japanese imitation bikes. they call them rice o phony, and hardleys. what about the harley imitation sport bikes known as buell? it's a double standard. maybe they’re just bitter because deep down they know that they are paying more for an inferior product!

  • 18 - Jerry

    Apr 11, 2004 at 4:20 pm

    Harleys suck and always will,your buying an image not a motorcycle. My 1982 Honda v45 sabre will beat any new hardley today, plus it's 22 years old! ha ha

  • 19 - Roger

    Apr 11, 2004 at 10:45 pm

    You are all dumb bastards. It takes a sub-par alter ego having site to try and knock down a real made in American Bike. What do you nerds ride? Let me guess... Mopeds!!! Or better yet a dick!
    Sorry but Harley dosen't make dicks for you idiots to ride. Go to your local gay bar or buy a Suzuki... Bee-Otch!

  • 20 - Fucko

    Apr 16, 2004 at 8:12 am

    If the price for a Harley Davidson was half the price that they're asking for,I'd respect them.They started off as the "rebel's" bike,now they're for the "well to do".For all the rich bitch dudes who try wearing all the skulls and other aggressive looking crap on their Harleys and themselves,you might as well wear a poodle logo on your jackets.You're on the rich wannabe tough guy/ primadonna band-wagon.I hope another company comes in and brings back the true rebel spirit of motorcycling and makes everyone riding a retarded overpriced Harley Davidson self concious.There needs to be an new affordable anti-Harley machine for the real rebels in this society.Not for the fake yuppie sissies trying to be tough.Something that shakes off the whole Harley yuppie culture and rubs it into the dirt....

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