Those early Christians were some sneaky fellows. They were eager to get new recruits and expand their membership, but they had the problem of being a religion of death, sacrifice, torture and suffering. Not an easy sell to the happy pagan barbarians who filled most of Europe. So the Christians came up with this special scheme where they would steal the holidays of the local pagans and tell them that they were secretly Christian holidays and that since they were using them anyway, they might as well drop by the church for some wine and cookies.
This required just a few, small accomodations. Take as an example Easter. Easter is the pagan festival of the Vernal Equinox, welcoming the start of Spring. It's all about sex, birth and growth. It's the time when animals have babies and trees and flowers come into bloom. A pretty fun time celebrated by copulating in the fields, jumping over bonfires, dressing up in scary animal masks, some naked dancing and the occasional blood sacrifice. All not very Christian. But it's not too far from the date when Jesus was crucified, so move the crucifixion festival up by two weeks (he was actually crucified in early April), and make a few small accomodations. Let them keep the pagan trappings, the eggs, the bunnies (universal symbol of fecundity - after all, who breeds better?) and even the name (Estre was a pagan fertility goddess). Oh, and since all the pagan gods get to come back from the dead in the Spring, Jesus had better get ressurected too. You thought ressurection was unique? It was all the rage in the ancient world. The Greeks had Persephone coming back from the dead. The Romans had the recently disembowled Attis popping back to life. The Vikings had Odin and Baldr both getting ressurected in the Spring. The Celts had Creudilad, Pwyll and Belenus all getting reborn or returned from the land of the dead in the Spring. It's a sort of universal religious archetype.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Dave Nalle
Just got finished doing all the eggs and baskets. I'm about ready for a pagan god to just come take me away to the netherworld until next Easter.
Dave
2 - Flipthedolphin
Quite enlightening post
3 - Lono
Good call on this piece! The Christians screwed up the Easter mythology so bad, it hurts. I posted something similar the other day, but it got buried because I posted too early.
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/26/024509.php
Anyhow, happy Equinox
4 - Dave Nalle
What impresses me about Easter is that despite all their efforts the Christian part is largely irrelevant to most people and the pagan has come to totally dominate in popular culture. IMO syncretism was a terrible mistake for the church - placing recruitment above doctrine may have gotten them more membership, but it's left a horrible legacy - if you care about JesusBunny anyway.
Dave
5 - Steve S
Easter has always been just another day to me. Now that our daughter is 2 and a half, today is going to be her first day to go easter egg hunting with other kids. So I've spent the last week teaching her how to hunt down plastic easter eggs with candy in them.
She's got the principle now and she's going to be a force to be reckoned with, even though the next youngest kid is probably going to be 5 years older than her.
Meanwhile, I'll be sitting with the parents rooting her on. 'Yeah, that's it, it's behind the flower pot! Look out, Timmy's going to grab it! Take him down! Take him down!'
celebrated by copulating in the fields, jumping over bonfires, dressing up in scary animal masks, some naked dancing
ah yes, thank you for the trip down nostalgia lane.
6 - Dave Nalle
Our two daughters are 10 years apart (2 1/2 and 13) and we had to stage an easter egg hunt that addressed the needs of both. Quite a challenge, but we found the solution to put one set of eggs in locations 4 feet or more off the ground and the other set 2 feet or less from the ground. And then fill one set with jewelry and money and the other set with finger puppets and other little toys. A major production.
BTW, our daughters are the same age - why does yours have so much more hair? I've never understood this, but our older daughter also seemed to run a hair deficit when compared to other kids up through about the age of 5. Very strange.
Dave
7 - Steve S
She was born with almost a full head of hair. I lucked out in that department. My family line on both sides of my parents, everybody men and women alike, kept a full head of hair up until they passed away in their 70's-90's. We just don't lose hair. We also lucked out in the weight department. I can eat anything, pizza, things cooked in butter/lard, etc. all day long (and I have my whole life never eaten anything 'diet') and I still am skinny as a bird. But it's also easy for me to eat until I am just not hungry anymore. I never eat until I'm 'full'. I can't stand that feeling. And it's my metabolism, and the fact that I almost never sit down, including when I blog.
People are always complimenting her on the color of her skin, but that comes from the surrogate who was Aztec.
8 - Dave Nalle
Well, the result is a damned good looking kid. Not that mine aren't cute as hell too, but I'm envious of all that hair.
What happens in our family - earlier generations too - is that we start out almost bald, are blond for our first 5 years or so but have light, very fine hair that doesn't grow much. Then the hair turns brown and starts growing and thickening. Kind of weird.
Dave
9 - Steve S
Thank you. I think that hair situation is more common than wierd. I was blonde until I was about 8 or 9 myself. I was the only kid in the family like that.
I do think she's going to be killer hot when she gets much older. As the parent, I get mixed feelings about that.
10 - BillyBloggs
Good job smearing Christian tradition, pagan flunky. Ever think that Easter may have been a secular tradition before Christ? No, the all powerful gods (the extinct ones) had an iron grip on their fun-filled traditions and somehow wiley yet wet-blanket Christians robbed them- the horror of offering the hope of a salvation over sex and partying! See you in heck, party boy.
11 - BillyBloggs
And when I see you, I'll be sure to hock a loogie from on high. It'll dress up your lame festie costume just right.
12 - Steve S
There's nothing more noble than defending your religion from satire with a big ole ball of spit.
13 - Dave Nalle
Hey, spit is the only weapon you're allowed to have in heaven. Down in hell we have the 2nd amendment and everyone gets a bigass gun.
Dave
14 - BillyBloggs
Oh, now your gonna spread your special blend of manure on the Christian heaven tossed with a bit of liberal progressive rhetoric to generalize on the single largest group in human history? Maybe pagan c-jerks spells big fun in the festie fest of your mind though you might want to guzzle a few cans of shut-the-f-up at your next kegger before dumping on folks actually making an effort in this expiry dated reality that often not such a frolic.
15 - Dave Nalle
>> the single largest group in human history<<
Woah, when did I say anything about Budhists, you ignorant buffoon?
Dave
16 - BillyBloggs
Not that I'm bitter about it- it's just that joy-boys like you p*ss me off. You don't like Christians- that's your choice- but it doesn't give you a license to mock them- let's get real- a wuss like you will be crying for that "Ole time Jeee-sus!" when the grim reaper knocks on your door. With a blog like the one above, you can be sure He won't give a rat's rear to know you and you can bank on it coz He said so Himself. Next self-serving and riotously comic though strangely hollow remark...
17 - BillyBloggs
(It's "Buddhist" oh great one - sorry to p*ss on your golden flower but when it's telegraphed thru a google new search on "Christians" it stinks pretty bad already of irresponsible opinion- now go back to your Bible with the rest of us spoiled American consumers)
18 - Dave Nalle
Out of curiosity, Billy. What about my article makes you think I'm a pagan? Are Christians incapable of humor?
Dave
19 - Victor Plenty
Many Christians dish out humor. Few can take it.
20 - Dave Nalle
Some of them dish out a lot of humor accidentally. Ever watched Jack Van Impe or most anything on Trinity?
Dave
21 - RealCon
Confucius say -- “Dave have head up rectum most of time.”
22 - Bennett
This was one of the first Dave Nalle posts I read on BC (back in the old days), and it temporarily gave me a good opinion of him. ;-]
Thanks for bringing this back for one more read RealCon.
Bennett
23 - Victor Plenty
Last time I saw any Jack Van Impe, he was explaining about how Mikhail Gorbachev was probably fixing to take over the world, and was very probably, as far as I could gather, in Jack Van Impe's humble opinion, the Antichrist.
I kid you not. Some hilarious mental gymnastics went into that.
And his wife has one the best names ever for a televangelist: Rexella Van Impe. Isn't that great?
24 - Dave Nalle
If all the people Jack van Impe thought were the antichrist at one time or another got together they could form a good start for Satan's army on earth.
Dave
25 - Victor Plenty
Coming soon to a Left Behind novel near you!