I am so sick of Scientology. I probably wouldn't hate it so much if it had a better spokesperson.
In the interest of full disclosure, I will state that I don't know that much about Scientology as a religion. From what I understand, there's something that measures your emotions and then you have to try not to get angry anymore. Or something. And it costs upwards of $10,000 to join the church, plus you have to take all these classes, and what if I failed a class? Or what if I have to re-audit because I had a fit of road rage? I do not find it at all surprising that Scientology is a rich person's religion. Take a poll. Out of all your friends, co-workers, and acquaintances, how many are Scientologists? None, right? Because they're probably poor, like you, right? So fallaciously, based on nothing but my own - I'm sure - misunderstanding of what I read on a Web site, conclude that Scientology is not an everyman's religion, and it makes me mad when I am excluded from stuff just because I work a regular job and buy my shampoo at Wal-Mart.
Also, I totally hate science fiction, so I am not interested on that level.
Plus, I hate science, so they lost me at the second syllable.
But, because I am trying to put aside my prejudices (my engrams, if you will), I am going to experiment with being L. Ron Hubbard.
So the first thing I will do is name my "church." GREEBALICITY. That is an awesome name for my awesome religion. As an added bonus, it does not make me think of my high school chemistry class, which I should have flunked with like, a 17 average, but I passed with an A because the teacher liked me. I think one of the tenets of Greebalicity will be favoritism.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Mark Sahm
"a new belief system that is apparently about everything and nothing at all..."
I believe that's formally called Seinfeldism. A comedian may now secretly be stalking you for your marble rye. ;)
2 - Mei Flower
As long as he doesn't jump on my couch or suck my face in public ...
3 - Cassandra Complex
Sounds good...
After 9/11 i returned to hollywood to die (it's sunny!) and found my old neighborhood even more scientologicious. Since I was still in shock and looking for answers i thought "why not check out the scientologist, maybe they have some answers -- and at least their not christians!"
So i spent x-mas of 2001 reading all about those freaks -- check out these sites: http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/latimes/latimes.htm and www.xenu.net
four years later i'm a confirmed atheist and more scared of tom cruise than osama...
4 - Dragonfly
I personally know over 400 Scientologists who live just in my 2 mile wide community in Los Angeles.
75% of my friends and acquaintances, and all of my family are Scientologists.
The Churches in California alone carry over 6,000 staff (I'm probably wildly underestimating), and that doesn't even include non-staff parishioners. You can find a directory of churches at www.scientology.org.
I even know of scientologists that live and work in such places as Luisiana, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Alaska and Rhode Island.
What area do you live in again? I think you need to get out more.
5 - DrPat
I think it says someting about your religion that your cat is more interested in the closet than in learning its precepts. Plus, you've got to pitch your church to a larger audience to have someone to favor, if one of the tenets of Greebalicity will be favoritism.
Cats with money? Or just TomKat?
6 - Doug
I am really so sick of people bashing Scientology that don’t know anything about it, especially when they openly admit they don’t know much about it. How can you be sick of Scientology when you haven’t studied any of it? What your sick of it is all the media about it and we all know how accurate and objective the American media is.
I've been in Scientology for about 15 years. I have had well over hundreds of hours of auditing and have done many many Scientology course. The total amount that I have spent on Scientology is less than $9,000 in that 15 year period.
Many of the services I did for free as a staff member of a church. I am not rich and you don't have to be rich to do Scientology. In fact, someone can benefit from it simply by going to public library and reading and applying Scientology books.
I have also studied comparative religion as a hobby for a number of years and Scientology is very much so a religion in a traditional sense.
Basically all religions have two things in common. They all have a dogma about what happens after you die and they all have a dogma or path to some idea of salvation.
Religions split into two groups on the idea of salvation. Half of them believe salvation is place, i.e. " you go to heaven. The other half believe salvation is a state of being, i.e. " the state of Zen, Nirvana, enlightenment, etc.
Scientology’s idea is very similar to the Zen Buddhist, the Gnostic and many Hindu religions.
All religions have some idea of how you attain thier own idea of salvation. Fundamentalist Christians believe you accept Jesus into your heart as your lord and savior and you go to Heaven. Moslem and Jewish faiths are more a path of right conduct and atonement for ones transgressions. Zen Buddhist meditate. Some Hindus attempt to create a perfect love for Krishna.
Scientologist like the Hindu believe in transmigration of the soul and that salvation deals with transcending the body and breaking free from the endless birth and death cycle. This has been the goal of the Hindu more than 4000 years priors to the founding of Christianity. In that sense Scientology is more traditional than any western religion.
Point being, like all religions, Scientology contains an idea of an afterlife, and a path by which one achieves salvation or immortality.
The goal of an individual Scientologist is the same goal of any religious person; the attainment of spiritual immortality and salvation.
The idea of reincarnation might seem strange to a person who has grown up in the Judeo-Christian West but let’s not forgot the idea is still the belief of most people in India, China and many Asian countries, which happens to be the majority of the population of Earth.
Scientology literally contains information about all aspects of life, including both secular and non-secular aspects. Scientology isn’t about nothing, it’s about everything. It’s about life.
There is information about communication, how to study effectively, how to get off drugs, how to run a business, how to patch up upsets, how to be more effective at work and list goes on. That’s not about nothing.
One doesn’t even have to embrace the faith to read a book and get some real help with everyday problems like patching up relationships or communicating better.
Cheers!
7 - Phillip Winn
"...as a staff member of the church." Where I come from, that's not really considered "free."
8 - Doug
""...as a staff member of the church." Where I come from, that's not really considered "free.""
Well, I never was on staff because I wanted free training or auditing and I didn't pay a dime for it, the church paid me iin fact. So, in that respects it was free. No money left my bank account for it.
That's not really the issue though.
-Cheers
9 - Mei Flower
I am really so sick of people bashing Scientology that don’t know anything about it, especially when they openly admit they don’t know much about it. How can you be sick of Scientology when you haven’t studied any of it? What your sick of it is all the media about it and we all know how accurate and objective the American media is.
erm ... yeah. Read closely: I did put out there the things I have read about Scientology, and I fully disclosed that my judgments were about my limited understanding. Plus, you don't have to know anything about a subject to be sick of it. Like, I am sick of Karl Rove and also photosynthesis, and I am totally in the dark about those things, and choose to remain so.
I personally know over 400 Scientologists who live just in my 2 mile wide community in Los Angeles.
Surely you know that Los Angeles is not like the rest of the world.
10 - Natalie Davis
Mr. Doug: $9000 over 15 years? One can assume, then, that you're not on the road to OT VIII. People criticize religions all the time. The important thing is not to insult the religion's adherents. Nobody is criticizing you; you certainly have the right to believe whatever you want.
And, yeah, Scientologists can be found in lots of places. I live in Baltimore, and I know a few people who travel to Philadelphia or DC, where the closest Scientology centers are. They're nice enough folks, but we do not talk religion.
11 - curious
You show the picture of a book written by J. Gordon Melton called "The Church of Scientology." He is listed in Scientology liturature as a religious authority.
He claims to present "an overview of the life of L. Ron Hubbard anchored by the generally agreed upon facts." It is a shame he leaves so much out. pg. 1
No mention of the fact that Superior Court Judge Breckenridge in Los Angeles called L. Ron "paranoid and schizophrenic...a pathological liar."
No mention of the fact that military records in no way substantiate Scientology's claim that he was a wounded war hero. They do show that he was in a Navy hospital for what we would call mental disturbances.
Melton claims that he left school after 2 years. Why doen't he say that his academic record was terrible. Some say he flunked out.
On page 15 he claims that leaders of Scientology were offended by Paulette Cooper's work, "the Scandal of Scientology" (the first major critical work) and who favorably settled a major liable suit against her. Why doen't he mention that Scientology attacked Cooper, causing her to be indited for a crime which did not exist and which was engineered by Scientology?
How can Melton claim that the crimes which sent Scientologists to jail for breaking and entering IRS offices and stealing IRS materials were "relatively minor" (pg.20). I wouldn't consider a 4-5 year sentence a minor punishment.
And there is no mention of what Scientology did to the reporter for Time magazine who wrote the article in 1991 called "Scientology, the cult of greed and power...that operates in a mafia like fashion.", nor for that matter, the attacks on other reporters.
And what about Hubbard's definition of ethics as anything that gets technology in. ANYTHING....or his permission to have Scientologists launch attacks to destroy critics.
And one can avoid the 1989 ruling of the U.S. Supreme Court which went against Scientology's use of "fixed donations", paid in advance for courses to be take. They claim that they offer a full refund. Tell that to those who have been waiting for years for their refunds.
Melton claims that "Hubbard never claimed the kind of formal academic credentials which the average scientist or physician possesses." Yet, I have seen a work written by "L. Ron Hubbard, Ph.D." The degree was issued by a California degree mill.
Footnote 8 on page 60 says "former members have not reported harrassment after leaving." I' sorry but there are hundreds out there who have been harrassed with telephone calls at night, visits to their home, refusal to be given refunds for courses which were paid for in advance, kept on mailing lists even after many attempts to be removed.
Fianlly Melton mentions an "overwhelming majority of religious scholars" who supported the 1993 decision to grant Scientology it's tax exemption. I believe that to be a gross exaguration and would like to see who they are along with their credentials.
Anyone who goes to www.altreligionscientology.org will find all they need to know to have a very different picture of Scientology than the one presented by their public relations department.
12 - Mei Flower
I just did a random keyword search on Amazon. I tried to include books on both sides of the issue, and some of the websites linked in the article do link to the things you've mentioned.
13 - Celeste O.
See what you've done, Mei? Your satire has hurt the Scientologists' feelings. Now, apologize before the tears start falling. Heh. J/K.
14 - John
What's with all this mindless, ignorant Venom?
(Though the comment about being in the dark about photosynthesis was pretty clever.)
I've been studying Scientology for about 15 years and have spent about 8K on it. During that time I have also tithed a total of over 75K to the Christian church I belong to.
Scientology is the most interesting thing I have ever studied. After taking a course called the 'Student Hat' I was able to TEACH MYSELF Software Engineering. I parlayed that class (Which cost about $450.00) and my High School Education into a Job with a six figure Salary for a Global 100 Company.
That's decent ROI wouldn't you say?
I use this example because shallow chumps without a clue about spiritual awareness can wrap their tiny little minds around it without having to turn off the game show they're watching.
In my opinion though, the career I have is the least important thing I have gained through my study of Scientology. It is absolutely packed with valuable, useful, amazingly interesting information.
Scientology gives pearls for pennies. And if you haven't studied it, how about not spitting on it.
OK?
-john
Seattle
15 - Celeste O.
John, while I can admire your devotion (however misguided it may be), until you get Tom Cruise to stop plugging the spiel on every interview he does, then common people will continue to drip venom on the issue.
Stop being sensitive about it. If you love it so much, then who cares what others say anyway? You're not having doubts, are you? Eh? =)
16 - Gay Tim
Scientology is a confidence scam. It's a confidence scam from the personality test all the way up to the idiotic quarter million dollar "secret" that Hubbard is infact, God.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
17 - David Barrington
From:
David Barrington
www.happierlife.org
Scientology is just getting bigger and bigger and more popular than ever. It's everywhere. More than 4,500 organizations (in 130 countries)are providing Mr. Hubbard's effective technologies, and more than 225,000,000 (millions) of Mr. Hubbard's books are in circulation. Translated into 86 languages.
As regards auditing (look at my website for the definition) from January - July 2005 more than 6.5 MILLION hours of auditing have been delivered internationally. (This is one-on-one.)
But lets look at America. In this fast becoming "big brother" society, American citizen’s rights have been very well served and protected through by the direct efforts of L. Ron Hubbard and the Church of Scientology. A few of many examples:
o The US Freedom of Information Act was enacted, in good part, because of the lobbying efforts of the Church of Scientology, which has spearheaded similar legislation in other countries. FOI protects citizens by giving them the right to access government records. A transparent government is one that can be made accountable to its citizens.
(www.right2know.net/pg013.html)
o In the 1970’s, Scientology released its findings that documented that (up until the release of those documents) the then current and every former INTERPOL Secretary (senior-most position) was a former SS officer during the Third Reich.
The expose occurred at a time when INTERPOL was campaigning to have the FBI and State law enforcement agencies’ files open and fully available to it. This would have resulted in a post WW II, Nazi formed private group having dossiers on millions of Americans.
Interpol’s campaign failed.
o In 1952, Hubbard in his book Science of Survival, made public the CIA’s brain-washing experiments through its (until then secret) MKULTRA (drug + pain + hypnosis) program, while in the 1970’s Scientology released documents proving the CIA had released pathogens in US bus and train stations to monitor the spread of airborne disease (part of the government’s weapons research program).
Ø The FDA now requires psych drugs to carry the “black box” warning label. It took CCHR more than 12 years with massive amounts of financial support by Scientologists to raise public awareness and get the FDA to admit (what it long knew but kept silent because of psych and drug special interests): Psych drugs can cause emotional rage and suicide.
See, www.FreedomMag.org
Ø As of January 2005, 877 psychiatrists (and their associates) have been convicted of crimes; 376 have been jailed.
This, in major part, is a result of the work of the Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR), established in 1968 by the Church of Scientology to investigates human rights abuses by the psychiatric industry.
See: www.cchr.org
and
http://psychcrime.org
A friend recently informed me his cousin’s husband committed suicide one week after starting psych drugs. He was unhappy but never suicidal. He was 39 and left a wife and two young children.
Ø The largest drug rehab center in the US uses L. Ron Hubbard’s detox program based on his breakthroughs in biochemistry. Success rate 70% compared to the 10% of psych “rehab” facilities.
See, www.narconon.org
Incidentally there are more Narconon centers around the world than the combined total of the top three private facilities (Betty Ford, etc.)
Tom Cruise has financed two NYC Hubbard Detox Centers for firemen who were suffering terribly from 9/11 toxic chemical related illnesses. More than 200 firemen have completed the program with spectacular results.
See: www.nydetox.org
Ø At the direction of the President Chavez of Venezuela, 800,000 copies of L. Ron Hubbard’s The Way to Happiness (a non-religious, non-political moral guide) were ordered, of which 100,000 have been distributed by the government’s Social Services department. 11,000 Social Services employees have been trained on it. Other governments have published it, as have private corporations.
See, www.twth.org/news-main.html
Ø Scientology is financing a massive international campaign to increase public awareness of the United Nation’s 1949 Universal Declaration of Human Rights " a nearly forgotten but hugely important document having the goal of protecting the human rights of every man, woman and child.
See, www.scientology.org/humanrights/index.htm
Ø A 100-acre facility in St. Louis is training educators from around the world in L. Ron Hubbard’s Study Technology.
Once the psychs were given carte blanch of the curriculum in the 1960’s, SAT scores started to plummet. That’s when they started creating the ADHD campaign.
See, www.appliedscholastics.org
and
www.able.org
To learn some of the “how to” tools developed by Hubbard to solve various situations in life go to: www.ScientologyHandbook.org (scroll down to the bottom of the page and click “enter”)
18 - Gay Tim
... and Hubbard is really God.
19 - DAvid Barrington
Moving right along:
Everywhere you turn, there's L Ron Hubbard's technologies in use.
Mr. Hubbard's R&D in management and organization comprise 10 volumes (more than 9,000 pages) that serve as the basis of the Hubbard College 2 year associate degree program:
www.hubbardcollege.com
More than 50,000 companies use LRH's management technology.
www.wise.org
800 Budhists (including Budhist monks)have now been trained in Dianetics (just since the tsunami catastrophy).
There are 56,000+ Scientology Volunteer Ministers trained in emergency help skills -- that's more than the Red Cross and the United Nations private help groups combined.
Africa has opened 11 Scientology centers in the last 6 months.
The above is just the tip of the incredible growth -- because L Ron Hubbard developed tools that are effective, work and anyone can use to solve the problems in life.
Check out
www.FreedomMag.org.
hugely respected magazine amongst government decision makers for superior investigatory reporting.
Read the current (online) issue re psychiatrists and the terrorists.
David Barrington
dmb@happierlife.org
20 - Temple Stark
David enough, please. You're happier got it. Very cool.
21 - john
Celeste,
It's not so much that I'm sensative about it. It's just that I believe people that go around making less of other people need to be stood up to.
That's all,
-john
22 - Natalie Davis
I can understand being upset over disrespectful comments; they are assuredly not cool. At the same time, criticizing Scientology itself (just as people criticize Christianity and other faiths and non-faiths) is acceptable.
23 - David Barrington
Curious wrote:
"Melton mentions an "overwhelming majority of religious scholars" .... I ...would like to see who they are along with their credentials.
Amongst those scholars are:
Bryan R. Wilson, Ph.D., Emeritus Fellow, Oxford University, England
Frank K. Flinn, Ph.D., Adjunct Professor in Religious Studies, Washington University, Saint Louis MO
Regis Dericquebough, Professor, Sociology of Religion, University of Lille III, Lille, France
M. Darrol Bryant, Ph.D. Professor of Religion and Culture, Renison College, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario Canada
Alejandro Frigerio, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Sociology, Catholic University of Argentina, Buenos Aires, Argentina
Fumio Sawada, Eighth Holder of the Secrets of Yu-itsu Shinto
Urbano Alonso Galan, Doctor in Philosophy and Licentiate in Theology, Gregorian University and Saint Bonaventure Pontifical Faculty, Rome
David Barrington
www.happierlife.org
24 - Greg
I don't know why all you guys are wasting your breath with someone that starts his article STATING, OPENLY "I know next to nothing about ITEM, but I am so sick of ITEM" and goes on to spew bigoted and prejudiced statements.
This is just crap. It's 100% unadulterated phobia and prejudice.
Why feed into it? You can't have an argument with this.
This guy reminds me of Randy Newman's song "Short People Have No Reason To Live"
25 - Phillip Winn
Greg, I hope insinuations about the worthlessness of fellow humans isn't a tenet of your religion, because that strikes me as conducive to anti-social behavior.
Folks, this article is labeled 'satire' so take it with a grain of salt, m'kay?