Glenn Reynolds is a man stealing bitch. But we'll get back to that.
Brian Flemming and I have something of a love/hate relationship. He spouts some flaming pinko claptrap, and then I love to make him my woman. Yet he hates to admit that he likes it. I'm just saying that the Gender Genie don't lie.
I think Brian is from Venus, and Al is from Mars. It's like we're in the South Park movie, with Brian cast as the sensitive Satan. That leaves me cast as Saddam.
Now he finds my post "extremely repulsive." Oh, that's not what you were saying last week when you spent all night on my post. You liked it. The post was good to you.
Now this Instapundit bitch is trying to steal my playmate. Actually, Glenn hasn't said jack squat to Brian. I think he's just playing hard to get, though.
Anyway, Brian seems to think he should go attack Glenn instead of me. Sure Glenn has a lot more traffic to offer from his big-time website. All I've got to give him is LOVE.
I LOVE when Brian opens his lips and spouts those slanderous accusations. Oh yeah, talk dirty to me. Yeah, you got a right purty mouth there, Brian.
Woo-doggies, but you're a pretty boy. I may not specifically be homosexual, but like Harold Ramis and Bill Murray in Stripes, I'm "willing to learn."
Your Instapundit ain't so special. I'm a much bigger "right wing demagogue" and "fascist hatemonger" than Glenn Reynolds could ever be. Baby, there's nothing so strange as me. I'm much more dangerous than that nice professor. Come on back to Al.
Glenn Reynolds, stay away from my man!
Article comments
1 - Phillip Winn
I've said elsewhere that I don't believe that any sort of editoral censorship is worthwhile, so I'm just begging the Blogcritics audience:
Please don't post any comments! :)
2 - Eric Olsen
Um, baiting much?
3 - Craig Lyndall
This reminds me of a horror movie. I am the scared character who has unknowingly stepped into a dark dastardly room, where I can hear the beast breathing heavily but he hasn't noticed me yet. I will slowly back away in hopes of not drawing the attention of the large angry beast that has been blinded by 1000 cases of blood-lust.
Backing away slowly. Don't draw the attention of the beast. I am too young to die.
4 - Dawn
I...Can't....Resist.....
Al, I have to say that Brian was so asking for that smackdown.
But he sure is pretty.Kind of like Leif Garrett and David Spade.
Now seriously, can we get back to business.
5 - cjones
You are by far one of the funniest critics I have ever seen in my life. You are one sexy phenom...
6 - Mac Diva
Al, sexy, C? Only if you like'm ugly and underendowed -- and don't mind the spewing of tobacco juice.
Brian, on the other hand, is a hottie.
7 - Eric Olsen
MD, while not very nice, at least it's funny - very glad to see your sense of humor return.
8 - Joe
I did so not need the image of how she came about that knowledge.
9 - Al Barger
Joe-
Everybody's got their attitudes
Some are nice and some are rude
They come up and slap your back
They say, "Hey buddy, you can't do that."
Everybody's got their opinions to protect
But after midnight they'll be sucking your neck
They'll be a sucking mother for ya, don't you know
-John Mellencamp "Lovin' Mother For Ya"
10 - Stephen Silver
Eric-
That's awesome that you included the "Deliverance" DVD link, even though it's not mentioned by name in the post. More of a "thematic" mention, I'd say...
11 - Eric Olsen
No no, all due credit must go to Al.
12 - Al Barger
"spewing of tobacco juice"
Miss Diva, that IS somewhat witty, so that's cool. Whitey can take a joke.
I will note a couple of things, however. Note the distinctly hostile tone of the joke. You clearly seem to intend those words as hurtful ridicule rather than friendly ribbing, particularly considering the hysterically hostile tone of much of your writing.
Second, how would you react if I returned your remarks precisely in kind? Perhaps instead of tobacco and underendowment, it would be something involving watermelons and promiscuity. By my lights, that would be less nasty an image to mock someone with than what you conjured up. I'm just saying...
Let me re-iterate, however, that I'm cool with even pretty harsh humor at my expense. To that end, I suggest you think through whatever you might know about Hee Haw to find lots of possible humor points. Two words: Junior Samples.
13 - Andrew
What's going on? I read on a couple of other site that Mac Diva had been institutionalized. Is somebody posting under her name. I thought Mr. Barger's takedown of "her" was both funny and tasteful, as contrasted with the bile flowing in from the alleged Mac Diva.
14 - Mac Diva
Obviously, Andrew the Asshole has snuck away from his ward, wiggled out of his straight jacket and is using the hospital's computer.
15 - Jim C.
It's nice to see that blogdom's only Tourette's syndromer with their own blog is out and about and spewing hatred and reckless charges just like old times.
16 - Al Barger
I can't help but notice how nasty and venomous the atmosphere immediately turns whenever Mac Diva enters the room. I'm sure it's my fault somehow, though.
17 - Al Barger
Brian, you little tease. You know you want some of this. Quit playing so hard to get.
18 - Phillip Winn
Please, Al, you think that invoking images of watermelons and promiscuity is less offensive than the thought of you as an ugly tobacco-chewer? The point is debatable, but they're both extremely offensive. Why can't you control yourself? You're a grown man, right? So give yourself a break from the keyboard, and ignore Mac Diva, okay?
And PLEASE everybody, quit commenting on lame troll posts like this one!
19 - Al Barger
No Phil, you are wrong. SHE came up with the stuff about me chewing tobacco. I did NOT cast any such image at her. Read again. By way of pointing out her offense, I suggested that what she was doing would be equivalent to going into obvious stereotypes the other way. I said nothing like "Mac Diva is a...."
Pointing that out is not at all the same thing as she did.
By the way, HAVE AT the tobacco-chewing-Kentuckian thing. It's cool by me. I play far nicer than that myself, but I can take a joke.
All I ask is that people refrain from making up vile racist remarks, putting quotes around them, and attaching my name to them.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
20 - Phillip Winn
So for the record, you deny that your intent in mentioning watermelons and promiscuity was to offend MD?
You know what? It doesn't matter. Within the context of this post, I can't take anything you say seriously. Your behavior is childish, and kudos to Brian for not taking the bait. It's shame your personal squabble with Mac Diva has dragged me into this post, as I receive private emails from both of you.
Please, act like a grown up and quit involving adults like me, okay?
21 - Eric Olsen
Actually, I thought this was pretty funny, and it seemed like MD thought it was funny by the way she reacted in kind, so I have less problem with this - obviously facetious, National Lampoon/Onion-type post - than the others where there is no way to tell if any humor is meant at all.
That's the real problem here: we have various people, who shall remain nameless, who tend to write in hyperbole, which is then taken out of context by the victim, and then insults fly, and no one is left with the slightest sense of what any of it REALLY means.
So either we toughen up, back down on the hyperbole, or pay way more attention to the actual tone of what is being said, and do nothing to violate that tone by moving it to another level. And since everyone involved is smart - I know you know what I am talking about.
22 - Phillip Winn
Eric, I've been getting emails on this, and I have to say that my opinions of the intelligence levels of most of those involved is dropping rapidly.
Except for Brian, whom I commend.
If I were to go through post by post and mark the points at which I think things turn ugly, I would definitely develop an impression of the people I thing are causing problems around here. I suspect that most people going through might come up with a similar very short list. Like Eric, I will not name names, but surely we can do better?
We want everybody's voice to be heard, and we don't want everybody to have to watch every word they type for fear of being taken out of context, but surely a little maturity might go a long way?