Japan is a very group-oriented society, and most Japanese do not like people to be too different. Not in small ways, of course. It’s fine if you practice hula dancing, study Greek, or listen to opera. Even if you are an otaku—roughly the equivalent of a geek—people might look at you a bit askance, but it’s not a big problem.
The differences that are a problem are those that cause people to be unsure how to relate to you. Being foreign isn’t a huge problem because you’re not really part of the group. Some Japanese, however, go abroad for a couple of years and come back to Japan with a personality changed somewhat by the experience, and they have social problems when they deal with other Japanese again. They speak too bluntly, they give unsolicited opinions, and they don’t defer to others in the right ways. They can lose friendships and cause acquaintances to back away. Japanese are not sure how to relate to the person anymore.
As a country, Japan isn’t sure how to relate to gay people, so their solution is to not do so. Social conformity is paramount in Japan, and social conformity requires gay people to stay in the closet. Part of the reason for this is a great deal of ignorance of what being gay is all about. Most Japanese think all homosexuals have opposite-sex gender identification - all gay men are queens and all lesbians are butch.
When I explain to students (I’m a straight American English teacher in Japan) that this isn’t true and that only a minority are queens or butch, students are very surprised. They are surprised because this isn’t what they see on TV. The only gay men they see on TV are queens. They never see men who look and act normal in every respect except that they’re attracted to men. So if you ask them how they’d feel if it turned out that their brother or friend was gay, in their mind, they’re imagining their brother or friend as a flaming queen.
On the other hand, Japanese society and Japanese individuals aren’t actively hostile to gays. Even in the relatively tolerant Western countries, there is always a certain percentage of people who think being gay is simply wrong due to conservative moral ideas, religious training, and the notion that gay sex is icky. (I personally think the first two are convenient excuses for those whose biggest problem is the third.)
Article comments
1 - plainavy
Two observations in particular interested me: 1) that people who find gay sex "icky" might have something wrong with them, and 2) that people who have issues about being "checked out" (or checked over) in a locker room by same sex oriented people only need "education and experience" to get over that particular hurdle to accepting gayness.
Now it occurs to me that straight people who find certain sexual practices "icky" are not pariahs or otherwise considered abnormal for their tastes and opinions. Also, American society anyway certainly has proscriptions against "checking out" the opposite sex in locker rooms (due to opposite sex attraction), so why wouldn't people have some legitimate claim to objecting to being checked out by those of the same sex (due to same sex attraction)?
Just wondering.
2 - Constance
Whenever I think about Japan and "gay" I think of yaoi mangas which openly suggest gay relationships, which gave me the impression that it was OK to be gay in Japan. I guess that was the wrong impression. Now that i think about it yaoi are directed towarded teenage girls.
anyways, great article. I love learning about different cultures.
3 - Katie McNeill
Like Constance said this is a great article. I'm surprised to hear that being gay isn't as accepted in Japan as it is the US.
Of course we don't always get the complete picture when looking at a country from the outside. But I've run across some manga that has same sex relationships as the main focus. I guess I was just under the impression they might be more open minded about.
4 - Alcibiades
In response to the top commentor, I don't think the problem the author has is with people who simply find gay sex "icky" but rather who act on this feeling to discriminate towards queer people. Studies in the past 5 years (on animal sexual behavior in the wild, for instance) have shown more an more that homosexuality is primarily - though not toatally - biologically determined - and that it is common in nature so regardless of how one feels about gay sex one ought to treat day people with dignity.
A more meaty comment, however, is that the author of this article definitely simplifies Japanese attitudes towards gays. As a queer university student who spent half a year in Japan not too long ago, I feel compelled to defend the Japanese a little bit. The widespread popularity of 'Hard Gay,' for instance (a japanese TV spoof on a leather-loving gay guy) is evidence that the younger generation at least can frequently have a sense of humor about gay culture rather than hostility towards it. Although the Castro or West Villiage it's not, Japan has a better queer 'infrastructure' - for lack of a better word - than most non-Western countries and there is certainly more queer visibility and presence there than in any other Asian country except perhaps some parts of Thailand. Most major Japanese cities have gay districtics (Shinjuki Ni-Chome in Tokyo, most famously) with plenty of bars and clubs, something not at all true of everywhere in the world. There are probably more officially gay clubs in Osaka, for instance, than in all of India. Now granted, half the people in those clubs will be married and many won't be out to their entire family, but the situation could be muh worse. At the very least, there is almost no anti-gay violence in Japan; I felt safer being affectionate with my boyfriend on the Tokyo subway than I would have being pupliclicy gay late at night in most American cities. I also had an overall good (though not univerally so) exerience coming out to Japanese, though the fact that I was dealing with people my own age and those in the generally liberal technology industry may have played a role. No doubt living in major cities also helped tone my experiene, but it's worth noting that there is a substantial part of the urban culture in Japan mostly comfortable with homosexuality. Finally, I just want to say on a side note that it's interesting to me that writers about modern queer Japan generally phrase the problem of homophobia as one where Japan needs to "catch up" to the West. Historically, Japan was actually the far queer-friendlier place. There were many openly gay diamyos (samurai lords) and members of the imperial family; from the 13th to the mid 19th century, Japan was arguably the most gay friendly place on earth. It was only when the country started deliberately copying Western social norms during the Meiji Restoration of the late 1800s that the Japanese started to embrace homophobia because gayness was seen as a 'Japanese' weakness.
Overall the author makes some very valid if overly simplified points. Thanks for drawing some public attention to an area that interests me and sorry about the sometimes rambling reply.
5 - Shari
Plainavy: My personal feeling, I guess. As long as people keep their hands to themselves, I don't care who looks. Legitimate is in the eye of the beholder.
Constance and Katie: Yes, there are mangas with gay men (and lesbians, I'm pretty sure), but those are directed at a particular (small) readership, not a mainstream one. You'd never, ever see "Queer As Folk" run in Japan. Thanks for the comments!
Alcibiades: Your first comment, yes, exactly. Many straights have the 'ick' factor, and I'd only blame them if they used it to attack gays. But as for Hard Gay, I see him and those like him as part of the problem, not as anything good or hopeful. That kind of crap only reinforces the Japanese idea that gays are weird, or at least not normal. I can't help but remember the Homer Simpson comment: "I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming." Japanese do too, and this was part of my point. And yes, I know about Shinjuku ni-chome, and I know there is a gay community of sorts in Japan. And I did point out that Japanese are often individually tolerant, and that they aren't moralistic gay-bashers. But the main point of the article was that gays have to stay in the closet if they don't want to be shut out of mainstream society, and the societal reasons behind that fact. As for being simplified, well, an article such as this can't help but simplify to a certain extent. There are always exceptions and niches, but I'm confident that the main thrust of the article is correct. And thanks for the comment; it's interesting to hear from someone with experience.
6 - CodeRot
Japan might not be as gay-unfriendly as some other Asian countries (for example South Korea), but nonetheless, it is no San Francisco or Sydney either. Like some of the other posters, I have lived in Japan a while (in my case 6 years.) My last girlfriend (Japanese) always got confused for a guy by people we met in the street, old ladies while waiting in the line to get into the World Expo at Aichi in 2005. I never thought anything of at the time, because there are plenty of guylike or gender neutral looking girls where I come from. But in Japan, a woman is supposed to look like a woman (the more womanly or even girlish or even childishly girlish) the better. Men are supposed to look like men (even though they kind of look girlish to my western eyes.)
Soon after we split up, I went into my old girlfriend's room -- and found lesbian magazines lying next to her bed. And then suddenly I realised -- she was really a lesbian! Suddenly, it all made sense. But she was living in the closet, because of the sexual repression of the Japanese nation. It is funny it took me so long to work it out.
7 - Ken
I have to agree with Alcibiades that although I enjoyed the article and it's well written, it seems to over-simplify the Japanese points of view, which is reality is as diverse as one would find in any other nation. But, I agree much with Shari's comment: "Japanese are often individually tolerant..." the flip side there is that they are not institutionally so, which while I think is true elsewhere, is perhaps quite strong in Japan. When people get to know you, they can be very, very accepting (if not overly curious!)
As far as Hard Gay goes, he's straight and married to a woman, everyone knows that and he's not representative of gays in Japan. He's a caricature, which is quite common in his industry (as is being famous for a year and disappearing altogether). He's just a talent agency pawn, and that is widely recognized. I don't think many Japanese people are gullible enough to think he represents what the gay community is actually like.
8 - Shari
One point I'd like to make because I believe it might be missed by the English-speakers reading this article (who are very likely not Japanese) is that this article is about being a Japanese person who is gay who wants to live in mainstream Japanese culture. For foreign gay people, the experience is quite different because you already start off being outside mainstream culture. You "get away with" a lot that a Japanese person does not simply by virtue of being a foreigner.
Certainly in Japan, you can nuzzle your boyfriend or girlfriend in public and no one will harass you or beat you up but you couldn't be Japanese and do so in a place where a coworker might spot you and expect that it'd have no impact on your life and career (unless you were in entertainment or the arts).
If a Japanese person is gay, he will very likely not tell his family or coworkers that he is gay because this will likely result is very negative consequences. In other words, if you are Japanese and want to continue to enjoy a life in mainstream Japanese society, you will remain in the closet.
9 - Ken
if a Japanese person is gay, he will very likely not tell his family or coworkers that he is gay because this will likely result is very negative consequences.
That was sort of my point: How is that different from any other country? Even growing up in one of the most liberal parts of the US, this is still very, very true - and thus I don't see how the Japanese experience is all that different, other than possibly a higher level of pressure to conform in Japan.
10 - mark
this gay boy (well at this point not such a boy) lived in japan from 81-87. my boyfriend was one of the gay japanese men whose essays appear in Queer Japan, a book by folks who are very out.
I worked at Dentsu, and it is true that in the world of conservative business, japanese men and women are not so out. but in the vast world that does not depend on this kind of conformity, you'd be surprised at the range of acceptance you'll find.
yes, stereotypes abound. yes, the proverb "the nail that stands up gets hammered down" continues to be true. but i know a lot of people who are nails that stand up tall and refuse to be hammered down.
all this said...Japan is like France in some ways. get married, have children, and have whatever lover you want on the side, just keep it secret so as not to bring shame on the family.
in japanese media, from the 80s when i was there and "Kinya" a drag queen singer was popular to the recent example of "Hard Gay" queer folk have been stereotyped in unfortunate ways. but as some here have already noted, yaoi makes it more complicated. and when you consider films like Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, which looks at masculinity, power, violence, sexuality -- well, there are times when the japanese can be more sophisticated than the west.
it's early april. cherry blossom time. i miss it. thanks for the memories.
11 - JapanGuy
Real problem is many people assume "homosexual" is the same as "gay". But really it is not same. Homosexual activity is just means two men will do sexual activity, or two women. Thats all. Its just a natural action. Not identity and culture. Homosexual activity is existing since begining of time even in all animals.
But "gay" is modern Western invention. This because western culture had a strong and clear discrimination because of Christians intolerance reagarding the males homosexual activity. So the westerners discriminated them strongly and clearly in their culture. Those discrimated people eventuality created a brand new identity called "gay" in the modern movement against discrimination in the West.
But in non-West like Japan there was no "gay" identity because there was no strong and direct discrimination against the males homosexual activity. The sexual behavior between the men is just considered personal thing, its hobby or interest curiosity done by unknown number of people. But its never cultural identity. Its just personal so no one interested in interfere in personal life of others.
So in fact in Japan there is no social discrimination against "gay" because "gay" does not exist in the native culture. In Japan the homosexual activity is purely private and personal, so it is not openly declared, because nobody cares about it. It is rude to interfere in other people personal life. Only the OKAMA (cross-dress) who are adopting a clear separate identity are openly declared. Even Japanese know some male is doing sex with another male, but nobody cares if it remain a undeclared activity. Even we know the homosexual activity is happening, but there is no discriminations. But western idea of "gay" is imported so it has some bad effect in Japan I think.
We cannot say Japan is "less develop" because Japan did not have organized direct discrimination like the west. In this sense I think Japan is "more advanced" because we never persecuted homosexual activity. I think Japan should treat the homosexual activity in its own way, and not copy instantly the Western idea that homosexual = gay, when in fact it is not. Today those Japanese who identity is "gay" are intentionally copying western idea because of colonial mentality that West is "more advanced" society.
In fact the history of the West is more intorerant and discrimation, so the in fact Western history is about the socially conservative and backward society. So "gay" is a western reaction against its own terrible discrimination done to its own people. But "gay" should not be assumed to non-Western cultures because this is colonialism. This is wrong.
12 - jude
i am living in a residence in brazil that is well known to japanese people.they travel around brazil from one known japanese residence to another.i have never seen a group of people that travels always amongst their own kind.isnt the purpose of travelling to open up to new things and grow?i am the only white person here and also gay.they are such a closed minded people compared to what i am used to in montreal canada.until i left canada i had no idea how far behind the rest of the world is in terms of accepting sexual diversity.when i see immigrants come to canada they seem to loosen up a lot.yeah for canada!!!