Andy Marsh asked some honest and gentle questions of me in my article How Many Current Professional Athletes Are Gay? and I felt honored that he’d asked, because a lot of my straight friends have probably wondered the same things, so I’ve converted it into a sort of conversation.
Andy: Is it really necessary to have a Gay Games? The way I read the article, it sounds like these athletes want or wanted acceptance...does calling yourself out with things like the gay games really make you feel included or excepted? Are there hetero games or hetero pride days?
Jet: Having lived through the turbulent '60s and '70s the short answer is yes, back then it was; 
Nowadays maybe not, but back then definitely. As an example, way before your time there was an era when blacks had their own sports teams (The Negro Leagues) because they were segregated and weren’t permitted to play with whites. A sense of intolerance towards blacks back then even extended to having separate whites-only drinking fountains. That same intolerance began brewing toward gays in the 70s and 80s as people like Anita Bryant and Jerry Falwell’s “Moral Majority” began their unchecked hate mongering and their spreading misinformation about AIDS began doing a lot of damage. In short they succeeded in super gluing the words Gay and AIDS together, leading people to believe their lie that all gays had and spread AIDS.
They were so successful that back then even Gay publications were calling it “The Gay Cancer”. Tragically they actually had people believing that you could get AIDS just by swimming in the same chlorinated pool or breathing the same air. The best example was in the 1988 Olympics when Greg Louganis’ head hit the diving board, causing a scare because he’d bled in the pool. Suddenly professional and amateur sports began banning gays from competing because people were led to believe out of ignorance that it was just as easily and/or mysteriously contracted as cancer.
We knew better, but we couldn’t convince the general population of that, so we started holding our own games to insure that great athletes had a place to show their stuff and be recognized without the over exaggerated stigma involved with HIV positive athletes competing.
Andy: It just seems to me that wearing a big sign that says what you are — no matter what it is — is just asking for trouble. Think about it. Even here at Blogcritics, there are people that give some people shit for never serving in the military and those same people give other people shit that DID serve. So it seems to me that any label you put on yourself is just asking some other group to fuck with you, but that's just me. Does calling yourself out with gay pride day and stuff like that really make you feel included or accepted?
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Jet in Columbus
Thank you Diana for all of your great help...
Jet
2 - Sister Ray
Something I've been wondering - is day-to-day life easier for an out gay person now than it was 30 years ago?
I know about the defense-of-marriage stuff, but it seems that, besides that issue (a big besides, I realize), people are more open-minded about sexuality.
3 - Jet in Columbus
Sister Ray, I'd say on a day to day basis, yes. But I've known most of my friends for years, what few I have left after my many disasters, and as for my neighbors, they all know me, and I've lived here 18 years, so we're pretty much comfortable with each other.
Right now I'm on disability and workman's comp. I guess when I venture out I'll have to force myself back into the closet until I see what the environment is like. Ohio's a red state you know, though the Columbus is pretty gay-friendly.
4 - Jet in Columbus
Well Andy, what'd you think, I'g starting to get nervous!
5 - savvyplanners
Well Jet. Hmmm. I'd like to thank you for the op/ed. It is in keeping with your gentle, informative, not-based-on-rhetoric-or propaganda-type honesty and the provision of rational information. Kudos.
I felt that the question about hetero-pride and hetero-games neglected to state the obvious truth of GLBTI people in this country and the world...how could it have been better? I'm not here to criticize.
I just feel that people need to "get" that as a group of predominantly reviled and mostly rejected people, the GLBTI community have come to things such as pride and the games as a way to affirm our worth as simply another human being.
For example, as a disbled person, I wrote and directed for a theatre company comprised of physically, emotionally and developmentally challenged people. There was no "mainstream" outlet or open-armed welcome for these talented performers, simply because of who they ARE or how they were perceived (preconceived).
No Romeos on crutches. No Sweeney Todd's in wheelchairs allowed. So, unwelcome in the mainstream...we simply created outlets where we could compete and perform without regard to our appearance or "grouping" or the preconceptions of others who never took the time to learn the truth.
I guess, any group or outsiders (negro league, female athletes, GLBTI people) after being discounted or ignored or devalued enough, tend to create our own opportunities. I don't know. It's just an experience I witnessed.
I am thankful to have found your BLOG. It confirms that logic, reason, compassion and level- headed honesty are not some long-dead or rapidly dying concept in every corner of the Earth. At least not yet. LOL.
I guess I now ,too, have to come out as a demi-conservative! LOL. I agree that the media tends to show only the sensationalistic images of the GLBTI community. It infuriates me also. Of course, that's how they pay the bills.
I lament the (Anita Bryant-esque)"lemmings to the sea march" to which many of us in the world have succumbed. You know? Jumping on the bias bandwagon, "jus''cause".
I reckon I'll get flamed as a bleeding-heart, sappy, naive whiner. Historically, there always seems to be a "less than" to despise in every society. I have really come to learn that it is really not so hard.
Dignity. All people want to be treated with dignity. In my opinion, it is a lesser person who lacks that strength, integrity and capacity.
Thanks for all you do and best wishes with the surgery, dude.
Note to self: NO COFFEE after 10PM!!! EVER!
6 - sr
NUKE THE UNBORN GAY PANDA,S AND THAT BAMBOO LEAF STUFF THEY EAT.
7 - Orchid
I must say that comments about "gay culture" confuse me since I've always thought that people were a part of the culture they grew up in and not defined by their sexual orientation. To speak of "gay culture" makes it sound like all gay people have a unity of experience and background when that almost certainly is not the case since anyone, anywhere can be gay.
In fact, it seems that, if you want to be accepted as a person like any other who just happens to be attracted to someone of the same sex, talking about "gay culture" as if you were from another country with different values and ways of thinking isn't going to help.
8 - Jet in Columbus
What took you so long SR? You're late!
9 - chantal stone
Great great article Jet, very heartfelt and informative.
I'm glad you brought up the military thing too, because this is yet another huge stain on our reputation as Americans, that our government would allow qualified, and often over-qualified, servicemen and women to be discharged from the military--and dishonorably, at that--simply due to sexual orientation. Apparently narrow minded, bigoted viewpoints are more important than military strength and national security.
10 - Jet in Columbus
Orchid, where did I refer to it as Gay Culture?
Did you want me to list the article under sports?
11 - Jet in Columbus
Thanks Chantal-If Bush knew how many gays were in the military he'd piss his pants.
12 - chantal stone
And thats the TRUTH Jet, I was in the Army for 4 years, and I met many...MANY...gay men and women, all having to hide their sexuality and relationships from their superiors.
In fact, it was (and I'm assuming still is, this was like 10 years ago) fairly common for a lesbian and a gay man to marry, just to help cover who they really were.
13 - sr
chantal stone. Get frecking real dude. I dont believe one word you said. I respect Jet because He's straight foward. Dont agree with him always, however you are Bravo Sierra. That last bit about, and thats the truth Jet. Freck dude. More then 20yrs and never once saw the crap you would like us all to believe. Maybe you watched MASH to long [Edited]
14 - Dave Nalle
No question the policy against gays in the military is insane. They're letting women in near combat situations now, so I don't see how they can possibly justify any of the silly reasons they've had for banning gays in the past.
Dave
15 - Jet in Columbus
Chantal? Dude? Oh lord! SR, sorry to burst your bubble, but I've dated two from the Army and one Marine in the space of two years without even trying.
Maybe you just weren't looking, or didn't believe what you were seeing at the time?
16 - chantal stone
Jet, we both know people won't see what they don't want to see....it's a tidy little thing called DENIAL.
17 - Jet in Columbus
To quote Simon and Garfunkle from "the Boxer"
A man hears what he wants to hear a disregardes the rest...
18 - sr
SR IS NOT YOUR LORD. MUST HAVE MISSED ALL THE WONDERFUL VENTURES LIVING LAVISHLY AT THE HILTON. WILL EXCEPT YOU AT YOUR WORD.
GOODNIGHT.
19 - Andy Marsh
Well Jet...I had a long weekend...I extended it until today it was so long...it's another good read...thanks for answering my questions!
Only one thing I still have a question on...in your piece you talk about your fight for rights along with the Negro Leagues and the separate water fountains...as I remember it...or at least what I've read about it, blacks drank out of separate water fountains and played in separate leagues due to force....gays do it by choice...are they really the same?
20 - Andy Marsh
oh yeah...a question for savvy planner too...I know the GLBT acronym...what's the "I" for?
21 - Jet in Columbus
Jeez SR what a big booming voice you have! What brought that on?
22 - Jet in Columbus
BULL!!! Andy-You were just seeing how long I could hold my breath, weren't you? I'm glad (and) relieved) you found it a good read...
Thanks
Jet
23 - Jet in Columbus
Now, having said that, in the beginning it was forced Andy. Everyone was concerned about an athlete being cut and his blood making contact with another athlete. Don't forget they had everyone convinced that god gave ALL of us AIDS, and we had no medicle research to deny it.
That's why Magic Johnson left the game in 1991, it's why Greg Louganis had to stop competing in 1988 after he cut his head on the diving board at the Olympics etc becasue event sponsors were using AIDS as an excuse to exclude gays from events, so we had to start staging our own.
Once we'd organized our own events, it became a matter of pride to continue them. People nowadays are still very prejudiced against gays and would rather we just disappear (look at the headlines in the last 24 hours) so we're very unwelcome to this day.
In fact I'm beginning to feel downright paranoid about the whole thing...
A lot of people will tell you it makes no difference, and you'd be surprised what they say later.
There's an old gay "Joke" that goes like this...
Question-What's a Faggot?
Answer-A gay friend that just left the room.
Solus mei sententia
Jet
24 - Andy Marsh
You did good Jet! You didn't make me out to be some kind of screaming anything! It seems like the conversation we didn't have...that I don't think I'd mind having with a level headed individual like you...was a nice easy discussion.
But I gotta tell you...you really need to stop looking at my pic like that...you're making me nervous!
I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
And that joke you told in #23...I've heard that one...with every other slang term you can think of!
You may have the same kind of problem that a lot of christians have...a small group that makes all the noise and isn't neccessarily representative of the majority getting all the press and making it tough for the rest of the "normal" people...
25 - Silas Kain
oh yeah...a question for savvy planner too...I know the GLBT acronym...what's the "I" for?
Intelligent.