Her poise instantly made me feel out of place and I did not feel as if I belonged with them.
Then the day began. Slowly each line of girls walked off towards the Panhellenic houses. The houses are beautiful and grand. They are well taken care of and a little intimidating, most two stories high.
We walked into our first house, filing in one after the other. I smiled at the greeters until my cheeks hurt. Then, one of the current sorority sisters took me aside and began talking to me. Another one stepped in and the conversation continued.
I had no idea what to say to the sorority girls. This had been my mom’s idea because the university, in her opinion, was extremely Greek-focused. So, she wanted me to have a place in the university. Unlike most of the girls with me, I really had no desire to join and had not done my research on any of the houses.
At the next house we waited outside on the driveway in single file. I tried to make small talk with some of the girls and failed. Never had I felt so socially awkward. Then the girls walked out of the house. At that moment I felt ugly, short, and fat. The girls walking out had on beautiful dresses, had long legs, and walked gracefully in heels.
“They look like models,” a girl in line said, sounding just as in awe as I felt.
Indeed they did.
Great. If I had felt awkward at the first house, then the second house was 10 times worse. At five feet and barely three inches, I looked like a midget compared to the sorority girls standing next to me.
I stood next to two of them and tried to make small talk. They asked me about my likes, what I did in high school, and how I spent my summer. I answered as honestly as possible. When I told them about myself, though, I felt inadequate. None of my extracurriculars seemed exciting enough and my social life came off bland.
The day passed slowly and the temperature grew hotter and hotter with each passing hour. I stood in line outside each house and was grateful to receive the water, but barely had time to drink it as I made small talk with the sorority sisters.
“What did you do this summer?” one of the girls asked me later that day as I stood in their living room.