Backstage at her hosting gig at the Teen Choice Awards, Jessica Simpson innocently asked a heavily pregnant Britney Spears if she could kiss her belly.
“Hell no!” was Britney’s reply. Simpson is said to have been “really insulted” at the denial.
A little background on the writer here. I do not currently have any children, and have not impregnated any ladies in my lifetime. So, I can only speak as a middle-aged male who has been witness to such requests upon friend’s pregnant bellies.
Cheers to Britney Spears! For the love of Sidney Poitier, what was Simpson thinking? If these two were the best of friends and they were at home, this might be an okay request, but you don’t go around kissing acquaintances' bellies – even if they are nice and round. That’s beyond rude and yet not all that uncommon.
From time to time, friends of mine find themselves with a belly full of baby, and it is amazing to see how many complete strangers approach them asking to feel the belly (no one has had the gall to ask for a kiss, but copping a feel is still pretty danged intimate). I get the miracle of life and all, but if you don’t know the belly, stay away! Heck, even if you know the belly fairly well, don’t come knocking unless you’ve been invited.
Perhaps Simpson, feeling a little Japanese, was simply too stimulated by the pregnant belly. The belly kiss denial comes 
just after Tokyo censors deemed Spear’s August cover photo for Harper’s Bazaar okay to display as advertisements in the subway.
The photo, showing a nude and still heavily pregnant Spears was originally deemed too stimulating by officials. With legs crossed and arms covering her breasts it does not actually show her goodies, but officials still decided to censor the image from below her elbows. The censored image was to then have a note stating "We apologise for hiding part of a beautiful image of a mother-to-be." That is, until officials changed their minds. Finally getting it, or losing their mind after being overly stimulated, Tokyo officials announced they would allow the image as is – noting they understood the publishers' intention was to display a happy mother, and not to sexually stimulate.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Phillip Winn
Funny, funny stuff, Mat. Made me laugh!
2 - Dave Nalle
Don't you think Britney's belly is essentially public property? After all, the contents will be wards of the state soon enough.
Dave
3 - DJRadiohead
Sir Brewster, splendid work here.
I am with you... it is bad form to ask to kiss an acquaintance's belly. Britney made a good decision... alert the world!
4 - Ally
Hey, does anyone have a clip of this? I didn't get to see it . . .
5 - Mat Brewster
I am now complete, I made Phillip Winn laugh.
Dave, according to the restraining order I'm not allowed within 500 feet of Britney's belly. But that's just me.
Not only do moron strangers want to kiss bellies, but jesum, they want to hold the little tikes once they've come out. Why in the world would a mother want a perfect stranger to hold their child?
Ally, which clip? Simpson asking to kiss the belly? I don't think that exists.
6 - Penny Hammack
As a senior I can remember when we did our best to hide our impending motherhood. I will be much put out if my daughter shows up with a form fitting outfit with her belly button pushing out. Lets hear it for the good old days.
7 - nana
I hate when people just touch your belly when you pregnanat!!!! A kiss... hellooooo. What a stupid !@#$%
8 - charlieque
Is it so bad that Jessica wanted to make out with Britney's unborn baby? I think that Britney over-reacted.
9 - cindy hoyt
Don't put yourself in the same vein as Jessica and Britney... It is Sidney Poitier, not Portier.
10 - Dawn
Nice job Mat!!! Although I think it speaks volumes about Britney and what a psychotic insecure bitch she's become. Poor Jessica, it's not her fault she's a dim bulb.
11 - Mat Brewster
High praise coming from the master. Thanks Dawn.
And thanks for the comments all.
12 - ?m?
Well i think that Britney should have let Jessica kiss her belly. Whats so wrong with that?? And even if she did not want her to she could have been a little more polite!!! Not a HELL NO!!! So i take Jessicas side on this!!! And i think Britney should feel pretty damn embarassed!!!
13 - DD
You wanna know what i think.....
i think that this is pretty stupid!!!!
If this were to happen to a regual person, would they made a big deal about it??? No, jusy because its a celebrity doesnt make it anymore SPECIAL
14 - Linda
Yeah...I had just that happen to me...a woman wanted to pat my pregnant belly...but I went ahead and let her. It was MUCH easier than telling her I wasn't preggers...just chubby! ;) (true story..happened in an elevator) Talk about EMBARRASSED...I've since lost the weight!
15 - Patricia
I think Jessica was just trying to be friendly... after all, Britney Spears could use some semi-positive spot light!! The "hell no" is just Britney's new attitude she aquired when she married her husband. I take Jessica's side (well I'll always take her side...).
16 - Yolonda
Well, speaking as a former pregnant woman, I did not like it when complete strangers or even friends and family just though it was alright to touch my stomach. It is a part of my body and just like I would not want you to walk up and touch my breast or my rear end, I did not want people to feel like my belly was fair game either. Also, I do believe if anyone other than my husband asked to kiss my pregnant belly, they probably would have received a comment an answer filled with a few more curse words other than the word hell Jessica Simpson or not.
17 - Kim
I have to agree with Ally has anyone seen a clip and if in fact there is not a clip (proof) then therefore there is no story! i think it is wrong how people judge celebrities like they know them or something when they don't! Plus celebrities are people too just like we don't want people in our buisness they don't want people in their buisness telling them what they can and can't do!!!!!
P.S. a wise person once said:
"BELIEVE ALL OF WHAT YOU SEE AND NONE OF WHAT YOU HEAR".
18 - Joy
That's "HALF of what you see and none of what you hear"
19 - Uggg....so sad!
Come on........... ok, anyone who decides that their beloved bump and black rat's nest hair should grace the cover of one the worlds most famous fashion magazine's is just screaming for all sorts of public adoration/scrutiny!!!
Where Jessica's good judgement failed her was not thinking of the funky trailer park "mouth fungus" she probably would have picked up from her "girl on girl" belly action!
20 - STEVE
Jessica asking Britney to kiss her beautiful belly does not insult her intelligence, it just shows what an innocent and sweet girl she still is. I think it's nice she likes Britney who most would see as major compitition. I love both singers but I think it's Britney who came off looking bad for such an abrupt and nasty responce. It would have been a normal responce to a stranger, but I think Jessica is such a nice girl she should get a polite brush-off. At least Jessica was smart enough to ask first.
21 - The_Dude
She aught to know by now that pregoes are like pit bulls - really cute and cuddly until they decide to feel affronted.
22 - Ty
I agree with Steve, I think Jessica is a very sweet girl that meant nothing but kindness, it's Britney that has become major white trash!!!!
23 - ugoogly01
gimme a break
britney is a skank anyway
I feel bad for the kid
maybe Jessica isnt stupid enough to hold a kid in the front seat of a car while driving or practically drop a kid on its head
so she asked to kiss her belly big deal
24 - Danny
Mat....How about doing something positive, practical, helpful, and/or educational instead of a gossip coumn. Finding fault in others and trying to tear them down or belittle them does nothing but create problems and hurt people. Perhaps you could try to help society with your journalism!?
25 - Philly
Isn't the preggers Britney cover just a knock off of like the Demi Moore or whoever cover from a while back?