This wasn't the first time that jealousy had found me, but it was certainly the first time that it really meant anything to me. It shook me to the core. I was lost. My face felt hot and I was mad that his ex-girlfriend had made me feel that way. I wondered why he'd asked me down for dinner, because, after all, I was a kid compared to this woman — the 30-year old.
I heard a car door slam and heard the squealing tires as she pulled out of the driveway. Eric came in the house through the garage. I went out the front door. I couldn't face him. I felt so foolish for being upset. He came after me. Standing in his front yard, he told me that she had been rude for pulling up like that, she obviously didn't know that she wasn't welcomed, that their breaking up was final and a done deal months ago. He took his hands, placed them on my face, and he made me look at him.
"I'm only interested in you."
I couldn't believe my ears. I turned away and went and sat on the wall. He came around and sat down next to me. I looked at him.
And, we kissed.
It was a long, slow, tentative kiss. It became stronger and more intense. It felt as though it lasted an hour even though it was more like a few minutes long.
Our first kiss.
Then, his brother pulled up in front of the house. Bill yelled at us to stop. We laughed.
Dinner was good. Red snapper, baked potatoes, and salad. We sat and laughed and talked with his mom and brother. He drove me home later that evening and kissed me good night at the front door.
We went on like that for months.
I don't remember why, but we broke up. I think it was, mostly, due to the fact that I was adjusting to school and he was working a lot. We didn't stay broken up for long. Just long enough for me to go out on three dates with other guys. Guys from high school. Long enough for my whole life to change drastically.
One of those "dates" ended very badly. I went out with a guy who'd been dating a friend of mine. She said he'd always said he wanted to go out with me and since they'd broken up, maybe I should go out with him. Unbeknownst to me, this guy had brought a friend along. I was raped, beaten, and threatened with death if I told anyone. I was scared and alone. I didn't tell anyone. Not my parents. Not my best friend. Not a single soul. Not for several months.
Article comments
1 - -E
Joanie you truly are a treasure to the written word. Thanks for sharing this with the world. I've been raped myself and it never fails to make me teary eyed to hear that someone else has had to deal with it. It happens in all different shapes and sizes and colors and patterns that there is no telling who will say they, too, have survived it. I am glad you had someone you could trust that was so supportive for you in that time.
And I'm slightly jealous. I'm going to be 24 next month and never loved anyone, let alone told them.
2 - Christopher Rose
Fabulous work, Joan.
Thank you.
3 - chantal stone
Joan...what a beautiful story! my heart raced and i had tears in my eyes, reading your heartfelt and honest words. don't leave us hanging....we'll be waiting to hear what happened when Eric came back.
4 - Connie Phillips
Joan,
Thank you for sharing both the horrific and the wonderful. I too hope you decide to share the more about Eric with us.
5 - El Bicho
Very powerful and moving.
6 - sujatha
Lovely, heart wrenching story. Beautiful writing. Yay! for Eric. Hugs.
7 - Scott Butki
Joanie, big hug. This must have been hard to write about but I thank you for sharing it.
Eric sounds like such a good catch. I hope you write about what happens next with him.
8 - Scott Butki
Are you going to write an update or sequel?
I'd love to read it.
9 - Joanie
Scott, I don't know if I'm going to follow up on this one. The rest of it isn't nearly as heartwarming and easy to read.
10 - Scott Butki
Nothing wrong with some negativity.
11 - Will
That was lovely...
12 - poignantisle
After a long time i reaaly felt filled , with your words .. Please write the rest -- Shankar.
13 - rhonz
your story is so interesting, it really cathes my attention and im really touched by it...hope you'll both live happily with each other...
14 - LuLuLzZ
i lulz'd my way through this, best part was when he said he needed more than sex to keep his attention.. LULZZZ my ass dude, i bet he found out he was gay and went to bang his "best friend" in lake tahoa or whatever u said. a dude as emotional as you has to either be gay or on their way... bottom line: SUXXX FOR UUUUU