First Date Nightmare

Part of: Dating & Relationship Advice: Ani Ram's Secrets
Author: Ani RamPublished: Aug 05, 2009 at 7:41 am 3 comments

When I tell you about a first date that one of my girlfriends went on, you're not going to believe it.

She had met - I'll call him "The Stand Up Guy” - at a speed dating event, and they made plans to go on a "real" date. The plan was to meet in downtown NYC for lunch. As with many first dates, the food was the best part.

I'd like to say that this guy broke all the rules, but what he did is not even mentioned in the dating rule book.

During the lunch he revealed that along with his full-time job as an MD, he does stand-up comedy on the side. After lunch, he asked her if she would like to see a comedy show. "Sure," she said, thinking that she too likes stand-up comedy.

So they walked to where she thought there would be a comedy club. When they arrived, he said, "I live on the top floor. I can't wait for you to see it." Taken aback, she said, "I thought we were going to a comedy show?" "The show is a video of one of my gigs," he replied.

Some girls will go "upstairs" on a first date, so I don't see anything wrong with his attempt and her acceptance.

As promised, "The Stand Up Guy" put in a video of one of his shows. Here is where his choice of activity for a first date completely blew me away. Like...away away.

Stand-up comedy is a widely acceptable form of entertainment. Sometimes it offends some. Other times it offends others. Most times, it entertains most. She will never know if all of his routines are of the same caliber, but at least on that tape, the topic was masturbation. Every joke was centered around his obsession with "jerking," "stroking," "poking," and "vaseline," which apparently he never leaves home without.

On a first date? Really?

I think he was so proud of his comedic talent that he wanted to impress her with it right from the start. Unfortunately, he shared more of his talent than he realized. Or maybe he did realize. What she realized was that he was way too talented for what she was looking for.

I hope at least his audience was more impressed.

My advice? It's okay to crack jokes on a first date, but try to refrain from a show-and-tell with vaseline.

Article tags

Spread the word
Bookmark and Share
Profile image for ani-ram

Article Author: Ani Ram

Ani Ram went from serial-dater to home-maker in less time than it took her to grow out her roots! She is now guiding men and women through their journeys to find love. She is the founder of www.understandanyman.com - an unusual, honest, practical and …

Visit Ani Ram's author pageAni Ram's Blog

Read comments on this article, and add some feedback of your own
  • The Bridesmaid Chronicles: First Date The Bridesmaid Chronicles: First Date

    New Jersey new money meets Texas landed gentry when Julia Spinelli falls head over heels for Roman Sonntag. Their whirlwind courtship has their families in an uproar. In Book One of The Bridesmaid ...

  • Pretty Little Liars #6: Killer Pretty Little Liars #6: Killer

Article comments

  • 1 - Mrs. Lee

    Aug 06, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Poor girl!

  • 2 - DanOfSoCal

    Aug 06, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Some people lack the ability to see themselves as others see them. Well, I suppose we're all guilty of that to some degree, but this guy is hopeless!

  • 3 - Deborah McIntosh

    Aug 06, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    This should be the first and last date with
    "The Stand Up Guy".

Add your comment, speak your mind

Personal attacks are NOT allowed.
Please read our comment policy.
Please preview your comment.

blogcritics lists for Nov 27, 2009

fresh articles Most recent articles site-wide

fresh comments Most recent comments site-wide

most comments Most comments in 24hrs

top writers Most prolific Blogcritics for October

top commenters Most prolific Commenters in 24 hrs