Does this sound familiar?
"I get stuck trying to start the conversation. Absolute silence drives me crazy. The ice breaker that I say usually ends up being something really stupid."
Just picture this in your mind... You've just met someone new and you're a little unsure what to say to make a good first impression. Maybe you're a little shy and a lot nervous! Maybe you're just tired from a long day at the office. Regardless, you're completely stuck and cannot think of a single intelligent thing to say. To make matters worse, your date isn't saying anything either.
Is your fax machine more articulate that you?
No, your fax machine simply has an established protocol for first dates. Think back to the last time you faxed a document to someone. Your fax machine made a connection to the other fax machine, and then you heard all kinds of gibberish before the document went through.
Did you ever wonder what that's all about?
The two fax machines are basically saying hello and setting the tone of the conversation, how fast they're going to talk, what language they are going to use, and how long they're going to chat.
It's very similar to those first few minutes with your date.
- You're getting to know a brand new person
- You're getting used to their speech patterns and body language
- You're figuring out their sense of humor (which can in and of itself change the tone of the conversation completely)
- You're trying to determine their intentions. Are they really friendly? Can you trust them? Do the mean you any harm?
- Do you really, really like them?
You simply need to implement your own personal first date protocol.
It's important to remember that WHAT is said during those first few minutes doesn't really matter. What is important is to establish that initial, friendly connection with the other person.
Here are some communication 101 tips for getting started on the right foot.
- Be friendly and genuinely nice
- Show concern for the other person's feelings
- Truly listen to them - look them in the eyes (I know that's a tough one but you can do it.)
Article comments