Please be sure to read Parts 1 to 3 in this series for context on the "camel" and "slaying".
Ready to get your slay on but feeling the weight of all that luggage on your back? As you step out onto your own journey in earnest there are a few things to keep in mind that will make the road less perilous.
Don’t beat yourself up, or anyone else for that matter.
First, have compassion and patience for your camel. Even more importantly, do whatever you have to do to get past the temptation to blame everyone who had a hand in loading you up. If you find that the burdens you carry lead you to feel like a victim, or trap you in bitterness and resentment, don’t hesitate to get the assistance of competent professionals to help you untangle yourself from these traps. After all, you need your energy for much bigger things.
Remember this: we all start as camels. You did, your parents did, as did their parents — all our teachers and everyone you have ever worked for. This isn’t meant to imply that you weren’t given a raw deal when you got your load assigned. Maybe you were. Simply recognize we all carry our loads, and do what you can to keep your focus on your own pack.
As Don Miguel Ruiz shares in The Four Agreements, we all become ‘domesticated’ early in life. This is simply a fact. You are a product of your culture, the era of your birth, your parents, teachers, media, birth order, religious upbringing and peer group, to name only a few influences. The messages we receive are pervasive and some can be quite subtle including messages about what is appropriate for our gender and age. We receive messages regarding our responsibilities to our family members as well as our family reputation, our extended family, and our community.
Further, we are taught how to evaluate ourselves. We are told whether pride in oneself is permitted or whether modesty is more appropriate. We quickly learn whether we are loved, valued, and are deemed capable of achieving greatness (which we must surely want) or whether we were a ‘mistake’, an unwanted burden, and unlikely to amount to anything. It is as though we have been born in to a House of Mirrors where everywhere you look a different reflection is cast and somehow you have to figure out what you actually look like.
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