I've been thinking a lot about relationships. See, I don't like my parents or my sister. I love them to death... but if I weren't related to them, I wouldn't voluntarily associate with them.
Since I'm also getting divorced, I'm wondering if there isn't something fundamentally wrong with me. My dad once said that the reason for my divorce is that "familiarity breeds contempt". I don't think he's right, but I'm realizing I don't know what the problem is.
Maybe I sabotage happiness with unreasonable expectations of what it's is supposed to be. Do I build up some unrealistic, archetypical ideal of family that no one can live up to?
I don't think I do, but I'm just not sure anymore.
Call Me Confused
There are three main issues in your mail, perfectly reflected in your chart.
Number one, you have a reality that is extremely permeable. For example, your father makes a comment and you are completely undermined. He’s wrong... but is he?
You have a reality that dissolves, which is a textbook case of Saturn in the twelfth house. There is very little you can do to defend yourself, but awareness can help. At times you will have clarity but then it dissipates without warning. It’s as if the tide is high, and then it goes out all of a sudden. And you’re left standing there on the beach wondering what you were just wondering and why. Sound familiar?
You probably wrote me during one of those times where you’re just standing there bereft. And chances are excellent that by the time you read this, your reality will have returned and you don’t need this at all. ::smiles:: But here it is anyway... for the next time.