That historic event marked the first time since the birth of (wo)MAN that virginity became both a liability and a commodity, simultaneously: a burden from birth, yet a treasure to be protected by overly zealous fathers and chastity belts, only to be unlocked within the sanctity of marriage; a prize commodity sought after so ardently, perhaps even more than the Holy Grail, which every man swore his honour and allegiance to but so very few actually had partaken. Mary understood this dilemma and when the Angel Gabriel swooped down from the Heavens to announce his fertile message, Mary was already wearing a T-Shirt that said “What, me worry?” Only since James Dean hit the movie screens in a virgin white T-Shirt and faded blue jeans that clung to his ass like Pamela Anderson’s tits in a wet t-shirt contest have T-Shirts enjoyed such popularity. That is, of course, until Michael Arata got a hold of them.
Isn’t this what it’s all about anyway? Getting hold of something virginal, pure white, Snow White, oil, land, your daughter’s fifteen-year-old girlfriend with the pointy breasts who never wears a bra that you just want to gut up the middle Lolita-style? Managing perceptions, rumours, beliefs, religion, culture — did she or didn’t she get fucked in the ass? Perception: Every time you use the word fuck from now on, replace it with the word suck and you’ll see how it changes your world. Spin. Artists do it all the time. So do Presidents. So does the Church. The Vatican has known this for decades and capitalized on it. The Religious Left, the Religious Right it’s all about you believing that what you expect, desire, want to be the TRUTH - or is at the very least accepted behaviour carried out under the supervision of your peers, society or government.
Michael is carrying on a time honoured tradition, spreading the WORD, crusading to restore and reform; cleansing us of our Original Sin, giving us all a second chance, a second Virginity, filling us with a child’s innocence, under one Democratic Nation and one merciful GOD. Like any other grassroots movement, Michael’s gospel gets out by word of mouth, bumper stickers, rallies, T-Shirts and nowadays, text-messaging, DVDs and Powerpoint presentations. Michael even owns and operates his own franchised Church of Mary’s Parents complete with urban Stained Glass windows. He might not have been the first to welcome all spiritual denominations into his Church, but Michael clearly has been the first to accept all major credit cards through Ticketmaster to secure a ticket to paradise.
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