"Hey, you weren't kidding," said Mr. Chin. "Let's not go that way." We turned left instead, right into a dead end.
There were many dead ends, and spookers patiently crouching in them, eagerly taking advantage of our poor sense of direction. Jean-Paul Sartre must have been referring to his experience in a maze when he wrote "hell is other people," though he probably meant to say "hell is being stuck in a maze that is so dark you can't see your freakin' hand in front of your face, and having lots of screaming, frightened people stuck in there with you bumping into one another." After what seemed like an eternity, a light flashed in front of us.
"Look," said Mr. Chin. Ahead of us, a brawny, long-haired guy quietly pointed to the exit. Dressed in a bloody apron, and bearing a remarkable resemblance to Leatherface, we were reluctant to take him up on his offer. He was pretty insistent, however, so I pushed Mr. Chin ahead of me and we ran past him. Freedom never tasted so good. We braced ourselves for the main attraction, Face Your Fear.
Lawn and Zombos were already waiting on the line to get in, under the flickering chandelier covered in cobwebs. Lawn was smiling from ear to ear, and Zombos looked as white as the sheet that poor ghost had worn. They were reading the Assumption of Risk disclaimer tacked to the wall. A really, really large poster with very, very small print.
"I reckon that 'physical injury from frightening performers, or from sudden reactions to them may occur' blurb is a might true," said Lawn with a laugh. Zombos stood mute, but his fists were clenched into tight balls. "Maybe I should go first," said Lawn, taking pity on Zombos.
Of course, any experienced haunted attraction devotee knows you never go in second, or last for that matter. There's safety in numbers, especially the middle odd ones when in a group of determined, but skittish, horrorheads.
Once the doors opened, and we were inside, the true fear that comes from the expected unexpected began. Haunted attractions rely on simple but devilish effects that take advantage of darkness or gloomy light, unnerving and disorienting sounds, and spookers, both visible and dressed in blackout clothes, primed and ready to lead you into and out of each foreboding room of fright, with all designed to scare the hell out of you, and maybe gross you out a bit along the way for added measure.
Article comments
1 - andrew
Thanks for the review - friends were skeptical so will check it out!
2 - Iloz Zoc
Andrew,
Definitely go and have fun. Even Mr. Chin, who wasn't too impressed last year, insisted on going again this time around.