My presence here may be diminished over the next few days, though I will try to pop in and get some writing done, if for nothing more than therapeutic purposes. Today, my dad lost his battle with a host of illnesses, including high blood pressure and diabetes, as well as a series of debilitating strokes. Today, my brother and I lost our dear father; our mother, her one true love.
Dad peacefully embarked on the next leg of his journey this morning, just a few hours after I last kissed him and touched his warm forehead. It saddens me that I was not with him when he took his leave, but perhaps he wanted to spare me that. And that is kind of cool. It was his way, you see: Dad was a proud, stubborn, fiercely independent person, and that is how he made his exit. I am so proud to be his daughter and to see his face when peering into the mirror. I will treasure many wonderful memories of him and will always hold him in my heart. But I doubt i'll ever get over this unbearable ache in my soul...
The good news: Dad is free. He did not have an easy life, by any imagination's stretch. For years he fought against injustice, against bigotry. Often he found doors slammed in his face and often he felt righteous anger and deep despair. But he never bowed. Never caved in. Never gave up. And remained proud. And I am so proud of him, so proud to be his daughter. Thank God I had the opportunity to spend most of this summer at his side and was able to make him laugh and to tell him exactly how much he means to me and to my children, whom he adored.
Article comments
1 - Phillip Winn
I'm very sorry for your loss, Natalie. It is clear that you love him and I believe that you have represted him well as a proud daughter. Bravo.
2 - Dawn
Natalie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
What a lucky man he was to have such blessings as a loving wife and children.
3 - Eric Olsen
The very best to you and yours Natalie - I am very sad today.
4 - andy
I am truely sorry to hear about your loss Natalie.
5 - julia
flights of angels sing him to his rest
6 - terrilynn
I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my father, too, and wish you peace as you go through this time.
7 - Natalie Davis
{{{terrilynn}}}
Peace to you, too.
8 - Dew
I have been to this post too many times now and I keep wondering what philosophic, poetic or cliche-ish verbiage I can place here that would soothe or otherwise calm any grief you are feeling. Then I realize only God and time can do that.
Nat(alie) I am sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family the best during these emotional times.
9 - Temple A. Stark
Thanks for having the strength to post this. some might call it inconsequential to post this at such a site as this?
But you can be sure, shared grief is a burden more easily carried. I lost my estranged dad when I was a teenager. I never real knew him and now I never will.
You had a relationship. Question of the day - does that make it easier or harder to say goodbye?
In your case I'd have to say easier.
10 - Natalie Davis
You're probably right about that, though easier is not easy by any means. I am sorry to hear about your dad.
I don't think posting the article here, which I'll admit was primarily a selfish act, was inconsequential at all.
For one, it's a fine piece of writing, if I say so myself. Two, I wanted and needed to tell the world a little bit about the loss of a great man it never knew, and BC provided a platform.
And it was therapeutic: I wrote this mere hours after Dad's death -- can't imagine what I would have done with myself during those awful, lonely hours if I hadn't had something productive to do. I finally found myself in that spot days later, once the planning was done, the funeral was complete, my father was laid to rest, a numbing writer's block had set in, and I was left all alone with my grief. So writing this tribute helped me avoid that for a bit.
Inconsequential? Not at all.