Elsa,
I was recently told by a stranger that I was basically socially inept. I would normally have brushed the comment aside, but I had wanted to be his friend and I hadn't made a good first impression.
Later in the week, I was out with a close friend of mine and he kept making side comments that I was pushing myself to much - basically saying that I brag too much. I don't try to brag and I don't intentionally push people away, but I think both of these people really saw something that I haven't been able to directly see or remedy.
I don't want to lose the friends I have by my brash conversation, but I feel like this is who I have been for the longest time and I'm really proud of what I have done. I'm fairly quick to point out my flaws, but I was unprepared for this one. I'm pretty worried and I don't know how to change - or if should I change at all?
Double Capricorn
Dear Capricorn,
I am with you all the way down the line. Based on your chart, I think these people are seeing something you may want to address. By that I mean I can see the potential of you being perceived as a preachy know-it-all, even if this is not what you intend.
I can also appreciate the idea that you are not ill intentioned and you want to maintain your identity and integrity. The solution here is really very simple. What you need is a "tweak" rather than some kind of overhaul or personality change. You can still be "brash" and you can still be bigger than life.
With this increased awareness you can smooth your presentation and I think you'll find that a little goes a very long way. Better yet, it will allow you to explore various nuances in how you present yourself. In other words, just because you have 1,000 volts available doesn't mean you have to use them all, all the time! Get it?
I think these people did you a favor. I suggest you thank them in humble Capricorn style, make your subtle adjustments, then carry on kicking butt as usual.
Good luck.
Article comments
1 - diana hartman
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2 - Abishek Rana
I am a capricorn myself. I can relate to Elsa story. This has happened to me numerous times. I go and talk to people, sometimes, i go a little bit with my attitude or behaviour infront of others, just to have a new fun or being creative around others.
And then, obviously, i make blunder. Then i am told that i have to calm down a little and take it easy. I have not seen anyone else being complained about the same. My intention was to share something that i have learnt at the moment. Just to adapt with the people and the situation around. But then i feel stupid that i had a made a blunder. What should i think at that moment that would change my attitude, and think that what others are saying is worthwhile. How do i behave at that moment?
I think you are right, when you have said that we should consider other comments and thank them for that.
People often complain me moving too much, or shaking my legs while conversing with them. What is happening here?
And then, sometimes, i do get out of idea, and then it's pretty obvious that i am unable to contribute to the conversation. What should i do in this situation? Should i just walk out, or should i enquire about what had been said? How to i make them feel that i am connected with them or the surrounding. My fren complained, that i get lost or i am not talking in context at all? But then, i just voice my opinion right there and then. What should i do? Should i admit. But it's just my second nature now that i keep forgeting things often. What's happening here?
While conversing, i have hard time to give and take in the conversation? How do i deal with this kind of situation? Should i learn more or read about the subject, or just listen!