Dora the Coyote?

In the spirit of the Mexican government's controversial comic book format instruction manual on crossing the border, PBS has begun offering early training in border crossing techniques through the medium of mega-popular multilingual cartoon Dora the Explorer.

Every episode seems to involve teaching orienteering and wilderness survival, but a recent episode was particularly educational - if what you're teaching is Border Crossing 101. It featured Dora's family members, including her remarkably athletic Abuelo, negotiating an obstacle course which included hiding in trees, moving silently and using cover for concealment, negotiating your way through rocks, brambles and cacti and even swimming a Rio Grande like river. I fully expected one of the obstacles to be a watchful Gringo border guard who needed to be distracted while Abuelo snuck by, but that role was filled by sleeping bees and easily startled anthropomorphic flowers.

Strangely all the characters in this episode seemed to be wearing their pajamas. Perhaps the new strategy in border running is to be able to make a credible claim to have sleepwalked to the United States. The creepy blue monkey and talking backpack add to the surrealistic atmosphere of the show and the characters' abnormally large, pinata-like heads and immense brown eyes give them the look of chupacabras, which lends a bizarre creepiness to the whole experience.

So, if you're on the border and see a band of pajama-clad, big-headed, chupacabroids approaching from the south, you can thank PBS. Then I recommend running.

Article Author: Dave Nalle

Dave Nalle has been a magazine editor, freelance writer, capitol hill staffer, game designer and taught college history for many years. He is Chairman of the Republican Liberty Caucus, working to promote liberty in the GOP. …

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