Don't Piss In The Pool

As a freelance journalist who aspires to make a living at it, I sometimes compare my financial state to Sisyphus, the mythical character condemned to continually roll a boulder to the top of a hill, only to have it roll right back down again.

Which is why my reflex action, when I see bottom feeders offering such princely sums as $1.00 per article for "content writing" (yeah, you know the ones), is to grind my teeth until I smell smoke and pray for the skies to open up and rain boiling oil on them.

But I should thank them. We all should - really. Because, if you do even the most cursory research you realize that there are people out there writing for these beyond-laughably pathetic sums, as inconceivable as that seems.

Which is fine and dandy by me because I can't imagine that these saps are the brightest bulbs in the lamp store and they probably aren't good writers either. So why not distract them with this insultingly busy work and keep them from bothering editors and publishers who do pay acceptable rates, and from mucking up the channels of communication with their ill-conceived drivel scrawled in crayon on scraps of grocery bags?

Let me put it in more blunt terms. You know that anyone who would write for such a pittance is the kind of person who's going to piss in the pool (figuratively and literally). Isn't it better to keep them over there in the acrid smelling kiddie pool with the rest of the incontinents and dullards?

I sure think so and I'm sorry if that sounds hard, but you know what? Life's hard and the meek don't inherit anything but a heaping mouthful of shit.

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Article Author: William I. Lengeman III

William I. Lengeman III is a freelance journalist, food writer and book reviewer. More info about his Web sites - Tea Guy Speaks and Word Pangs - at his home page.

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  • 1 - RogerMDillon

    Mar 09, 2006 at 6:16 am

    So then what do you call the people who write content for free like you just did??

  • 2 - Pat Fish

    Mar 09, 2006 at 7:59 am

    Roger you a curmudgeon of the highest order.

    But a wise observation is a wise observation.

    Bingo.

  • 3 - Barry Stoller

    Mar 09, 2006 at 8:59 am

    Now, no one needs to spend a cent on reading material. Somewhere on the 'net, there's millions of poorly written pieces on every subject imaginable - all free. Why pay when another article is a click away?

    With this clever development, every sub-standard writer, bitter from rejections, can finally realize their revenge. With every blog, online zine, and so on, the professional writers are marginalized and, eventually, obviated.

    The only loss is... national literacy.

  • 4 - Bill

    Mar 09, 2006 at 11:07 am

    Clever devils. I guess it's off to the Dullards Home for me.

  • 5 - JELIEL³

    Mar 09, 2006 at 12:59 pm

    There's a diference between a mercenary and a freedom fighter. One gets paid and will run at any moment, the other carries on despite hardship, simply because he's passionate.

  • 6 - Joe Battista

    Mar 09, 2006 at 5:47 pm

    The jig is up. They are teaching kids how to write in schools now. Soon, everyone will be able to do it. Better retrain for a new career.

  • 7 - Carson

    Apr 02, 2006 at 5:55 pm

    So, Wm. III, where do you draw the line separating legitimacy from kiddie pool urinators? Two cents per word? Five? Twenty-five? Is each word that shoots from your fingertips worth a ten spot?

    Personally, I don't see a reason to denigrate those who don't charge up to your level as dullards with weak bladders.

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