I have been noticing something interesting this season as December 25th has been approaching: Santa Claus is seemingly more popular than ever. Of course, this is the jolly fat guy that most of us have grown up with and now our children are growing up with too. His image is legendary, burnished in our collective consciousness by advertisements, movies, TV shows, Christmas cards, and works of art. His iconic white beard, red suit, black boots and belt, and cherry nose are more identifiable to people around the world than just about any other person living or dead. So, in the face of such success, why should I propose that Santa needs a makeover?
In essence it’s because Santa is a victim of his own success. He is trapped in his role as jolly old elf. There is no room for him to branch out, try something new, become what he has always been meant to be, perhaps. For in the ubiquitous nature of being Santa, he is caught in a steel trap that would cause most people to want to escape. Obviously, he must wear different clothing during the course of the year, but every Christmas he has to wear the red suit. Why? What if he took a chance and wore turquoise? Or yellow? And those boots have got to go. Yes, they are functional for crossing snow-covered rooftops and no doubt keep his feet warm in that open sleigh, but a pair of fur-lined moccasins might be more comfortable.
No, this isn’t my version of a “Straight Eye for the Fat Guy” concept, but rather a move toward reinventing Santa’s image, getting him into the 21st century and, by doing so, making him even more relevant than he is. For example, when I take my daughter to see him at the mall (okay, we all know this is one of his “helpers” and not the real deal), there are so many nervous children and equally unsettled parents waiting on line for hours. Why does it take so damned long? Because “Santa” is still using 15th century technology.
My idea for “seeing Santa” is to have an elf sitting right next to Santa with a laptop at the ready. Parents could save time by placing their children’s lists on disc, thus the elf would not need to type in the items the kid is asking for immediately. Elf could take the disk, click once, and send the list off to the newly computerized center at the North Pole, where the other elves could be getting right to the task of making that rocking horse, iPod, cellular phone, or video game. And, if they can’t find the materials, there is always eBay. I estimate the kid could sit on Santa’s lap, grab a candy cane, and be off with his parents in less than sixty seconds.
Article comments
1 - alessandro nicolo
Heh