"People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent." — Bob Dylan
He told me as we were driving along the shoreline on the way to look at a big old house and the sky was grey, "Life can be viewed as tragic or comic," and I didn't believe him then. It sounded cold-hearted and dismissive. I didn't believe him because from the depths of my grief - a very real grief - I could see nothing comic in the situation and could not imagine any day when I would. That day would never come. Never.
This, I suppose, is what all of the broken-hearted with hearts heavy as frozen winter stones say. We say we will never recover and we mean it. We say we will not let this happen to us again, and I trust we won't. Whatever it was that caused us so much hurt, Christ, I hope we have learned enough to not let it happen again, unless it was truly the wrong doing, or - one hates this word but it sometimes does apply - "fault" of the other person. In this case, the case I speak of here, there was fault so I lay it squarely at his feet, not my own and given that, what is there for me to learn?
As Dylan said, people do what they want, and then repent. In this case, he did what he wanted, then told me, which is funny because Bob changed his name, too, but he's thankfully now proud of his Jewish roots as he should be; otherwise it's a diss on the rest of us. Just as this person had told me that, nah, no more, he had decided that being Jewish wasn't really what he wanted anymore. It was to be a "WASP like you [me]" that he really wanted, which is funny because I'm of mixed blood anyway; neither here nor there. I could walk in either door, and anyway, I've never been a big believer in organized religion, although I like ritual so I've practiced as an Officiant for years because I love mouthing the words to the evening vespers and I like taking confession, even making it, I like the Episcopal Church - I like it because it isn't like other churches. But i digress too much. I suppose all religions have their things to recommend and not recommend, so I can't say much on the matter as I remain ignorant of other religions for the most part.
But "he" wanted to be "like me" - whatever that means - and again, I'll quote Dylan: "I define nothing. Not beauty, not patriotism. I take each thing as it is, without prior rules about what it should be." I wear a bracelet on my wrist that twists the old words "What would J.C. do?" to say engraved in gold and by Shreve's, "What would B.D. do?" I consult it often. And no, the answer is not, "He would just sit down and write a song." You'd be amazed at how helpful this is. It's my own magic eight ball, only smarter. I'd put my faith in Dylan's words more than most. Sorry to anyone I've offended here. I don't mean to. Truly.