The loss of a beloved pet can be just as painful and raise the same eternal questions as the loss of human family or friends.
I had a cat die tonight, about an hour ago. We noticed it was sick and listless today, but after the vet had closed, unfortunately. We thought we would take it to the vet the first thing in the morning.…
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— go to most recent comments176 - Mary
Hi Everyone
I have been reading everyone's comments and have been really touched by what has been written.
I wonder if anyone has any thoughts about what I should do...
My cat has been missing since Wednesday night when I let her out.
She is 18, has hyperthyroidism (medicated), early stages of kidney failure and also a tumor (which wasn't known to be cancerous, but had grown very large). She is very thin but was eating a little and was still very lively when I let her outside.
Since she hasn't returned, I have gone through the whole process of trying to find her. I think she probably found a nice cozy place to sleep and just never woke up.
I wish I hadn't let her out for the night, but it isn't an unusual thing for me to do (she often stays out at night). I didn't expect that would be how she would go.
She was all smoochy the night before, so at least I have that.
I really just want to say good-bye properly.
When I was putting 'round flyers, I saw another cat go under a nearby house and was thinking of asking if the neighbors would check under their house to see if my cat is there, but I don't know if I should, especially if we can't get at her. I don't even know how long I would have to get her body to the vet so she can be cremated (I don't have a big enough yard to bury her in).
If anyone has thoughts on this, it would be very much appreciated.
177 - Mary
Hi again
I just had a neighbor call.
He said he has seen a number of cats go in under the house I mentioned and that he would probably have a look with a flashlight himself since the neighbors are away at the moment.
That has given me some courage and I may have a look myself.
I don't know how we will get her out if she is there, though.
Best wishes to you all.
178 - Mary
I have tried to have a look but with no success - you cannot easily see under the house for any distance whatsoever. I guess I will just have to wait until the neighbors are back...
179 - Mary
My cat is deceased. On Tuesday I looked on our local website which shows missing and found cats. My cat had been found on Sunday two streets away and was taken to the SPCA. I called and spoke with someone there. My cat was in a very bad state when she was brought in and was euthanized. Although everyone was pretty sure from my description that it was her, I went in yesterday and identified her. She didn't look too bad. And I was able to give her a bit of a pat. Her fur was still soft. Poor thing. Apparently she had been hanging around where she was found for a couple of weeks. I wonder if she got lost or just wasn't well enough to come back. I am glad whoever found her brought her in to the SPCA so she didn't have to suffer anymore. I asked them to pass on my thanks to the people who brought her in. At least I know what happened to her and that someone was looking out after her. And I will have her back home. I am having her cremated and will get her ashes on Tuesday. Then I will bury her ashes out back by the bush where she liked to sleep in the dappled sunlight.
180 - kate
I love cats very much, i agreed to give a home to a little kitten who had been dumped in a box with her brothers and sisters. She had been to small to be taken from her mother. This was 19 months ago. She became my best friend and a very loving, special little girl.
Yesterday i came home to find a note on my front door it said.
Sorry but poppy has been killed, She's in the bin on the main road best not to look, very sorry.
Im sat here crying, i cant stop. i haven't slept and i cant eat. I know that this will pass but i just hurts so much.
i really wanted my little girl to live a long happy life.
But what is really upsetting me is she deserves better than to be in a bin, she is still there but i cant bring myself to go and get her and give her a little dignity as i know she was hit by a car and she will not be in a nice state.
What makes this worse is it seems that this was no accident, cats are not liked very much in cyprus and it appears that someone has swerved the car to hit her on purpose.
Some people are so evil she was not a pest or stray she was part of my family and now she is dead in a rubbish bin down the street before she even had her second birthday.
181 - bliffle
As consolation, Kate, just consider that you gave that kitten a caring and loving experience that she might never have had but for your effort. And that she reciprocated with a loving experience that will always be with you.
182 - Mo
Lost Muffin 3-10-0
183 - Mo
Hello, On 2-16-09 I had to have my 15 year old hyperthroid cat put to sleep. He had been on thyroid meds for three years and the last year or so have been really tough because he hollered day and night, then the last week or so he wouldn't eat at all> It was really a blessing to have his put at peace. Well, after he was gone, I was so grateful to have my Beloved Muffin who was only 10 1/2. On a Tuesday, Muffy stopped eating, two days later she had a seizure in the middle of the night and when I went to comfort her, her pupils were fixed and dilated and she tried to get up but could not walk. Took her to the Emergency Vet and he said that her blood sugar was dangerously low in the 20 range and it should be up to the 70 range. He gave her glucose and told me I could take her home and to follow up with my own vet in the morning. While I was paying my bill, she started shaking all over again and it was another seizure. They gave her more glucose and valium too. Brought her home and she was almost like the size of a basketball with all the fluids in her. I followed up with my own vet in the a.m. and he felt her and he said that she had a lump the size of a lemon behind her liver which he thought to be cancer but he asked me to leave her so he could take tests and return at 5:00 p.m. I returned at 5:00 p.m. and he said he has the worst possible news, that she has a mass on her pancreas and intestine and that he really should do a biopsy but that she was too weak to do so. He gave me a syringe and soft canned food and told me to force feed her every hour and to also give her a sweet substance every four hours to keep her blood sugar up. I did this and 24 hours later, everything came up. Muffy was able to walk or stagger to the litter box and she drank water and also licked lamb food off of my finger and I was hopeful she would recover. I started feeding her with the syringe about every 3 hours and that seemed to stay down. Two days later, I was out for a couple of hours and when I returned home, she was laying on her side behind my sofa with her pupils fixed and dilated. I picked her up and she whimpered and I held her on my lap until the wee hours of the morning and petted her and told her how much I loved her. The following morning, I found her laying on her side again on the bathroom floor next to the toilet bowl again with pupils fixed and dilated. I couldn't bear to see her suffer like this anymore as I loved her so much. She was like a child to me and slept next to my shoulder for the 10 1/2 years that I had her. I brought Muffy to the Vet that morning when they opened and sat with her as the vet gave her the injections. It took about 30 minutes as the vet said she was so dehydrated that there was a problem finding a vein.
What shocks me to this day is how suddenly my little Muffy became ill. On the previous Sunday, I was making Carrot cupcakes and she jumped on the counter as she wanted to sniff around and I had to chase her away. Then the following day, I had a chicken breast on the counter and I turned around to turn my Geo. Foreman Grill on and Muffy was running away on the counter with the raw chicken breast in her mouth. Then the following day she wouldn't eat and two days later the seizures began.
I loved her so much and I have not cried so hard since I lost my Mom 40 years ago. I will never forget her and she will always be in my heart. I have her ashes on my TV with a photo on the front of the container and I want to purchase some cremation jewelry so I can have a small amount of the ashes inside the heart and wear it around my neck. But it has been three weeks ago yesterday that I lost her and I just can't bear to have the container opened. I don't believe I will ever get over this and it is almost like I am numb a large part of the time and sometimes I have to force myself to get out and do something because I actually feel as though I am going to be faint or ill to my stomach. Muffy and I did love each other unconditionally and what helps me getting thru this, is the thought that we will always be together and that we will see each other gain. Thanks so much for allowing me to share - God bless.
184 - heidi
our precious virgil died this morning at 3:01 AM. we had some time to say goodbye (5 days), but when it actually happens, it's till very hard. both my husband and i woke up a few minutes before he died. we heard him sneeze, once and then sneeze again. it was a normal kind of sneeze, not at all like the few noises he had made earlier. i felt his little body for breathing, and knew he was gone. we can't help but think, he woke us up, like he always did when he wanted us.
he had lost a lot of weight over the previous months, and stopped eating the last week, and drinking in the last days. i tried to hand feed him with watered down food, thought about baby food, then tried to give him whatever i thought he would take. he wouldn't eat. he would drink from his special place--on the pass thru sill between the kitchen and the dining room--he liked to drink from a pitcher. he'd jump up and do that paw thing that cats do before he'd drink and then lap up the water, with drops still on his chin. the last few weeks he'd gotten weaker and more unsteady on his feet. i put chairs next to the counter so he could jump up to this water. he lost a lot of weight and was only bones, skin and hair. he would only drink in his special place. we made "beds" for him in every room in the house, but he wouldn't stay in them very long.
he'd always get up, something in him kept him fighting. he wasn't in pain, and he would spend energy trying to get out when he was kept confined. we took turns taking him wherever we thought he wanted to head to.
the last 3 days, he would sleep most of the time and be as still as can be for 30" and then suddenly pop up his head (as if to say-I'm not ready to go yet, so i'm gonna go over there) stand up all wobbly, take a few steps, his back legs would splay out because he was so weak, take a few steps and collapse. it was as if he didn't know he was weak and in a semi coma. he was "virgil" to the end. he just kept getting up, wobbling a few steps and collapse heading to wherever his mind told him to go to. he never made it, but that didn't seem to matter to him.
the vet had told us he had kidney failure. we decided to keep him at home and let him do whatever he wanted. if he was heading somewhere, we'd pick him up and take him there. we didn't restrain him, though, i worried he still wanted to jump up, missing, and falling backward when i wasn't quick enough.
2 days before he died, the weather warmed up and i took him into the backyard-he loved to sit in the sun- and let him walk on the grass and wherever he wanted to go. he was able to muster a few more steps before he's collapse. i finally held him in my arms, talking to him, telling him how much we loved him and that he would always stay in the garden in the sun in a place he loved so much. i am so glad we were able to take him outside before he died.
it is so very comforting to read everyone's stories about their precious cats. it is very comforting to hear about their last loving moments with their families were like. i feel so sad when i read stories where death came without warning, and feel devastated for families when there were no goodbyes.
i feel honored to have been in virgil's life and to have been allowed time with him. we got him and his "sister" 15 years ago and have had the privilege of loving him all his life. he gave so much love and joy to us, we are so grateful to him for the gifts he brought.
185 - Mo
Dear Heidi:
I am so very sorry for your loss. You gave Virgil a beautiful and wonderful life. I lost my Muffy one month and two days ago, and I feel numb a large part of the time, but I pray for God's help in aiding me to focus on all of Muffy's good days. I have her ashes in a beautiful wooden oak box with her photo on the front and I purchased cremation jewelry (heart on another heart) and I have a small amount of her ashes in that which I wear around her neck.
I am praying for you and asking for God's help for you to get thru your loss.
Bless you, Mo
186 - heidi
dear mo,
i think i know how you feel. i miss virgil so much, he's everywhere in my heart but no where for me to hold.it is very hard to cope with the ache in my heart. i am so sorry you feel that pain too.
187 - Mo
Dear Heidi:
Thank you so much for your kindness. This is the toughest that I have endured since I lost my Mom 40 years ago. I never married nor had any children so my Muffy was like my child. I just returned home from a dental appointment and both the receptionist and I are cat lovers and I talked about my loss and the tears still flow freely. I will never get over Muffy but she will always always be a part of me. I will miss her till the day I die but I trust people when they tell me that it will get a little easier with time. I still awaken during the night and think about her as she always slept next to my shoulder, and when this happens, I start to pray which gives me some comfort. I feel so blessed to have had her in my life and I try to focus on all of her good days and not the tough time that she endured in the last week of her life.
Heidi, please know that I am praying for you and Virgil each and every day. A dear friend recommended the book "All pets go to Heaven" to me and I have tried to read it but at this time, it is somewhat difficult for me to concentrate. Sometime in the future, when I am able to pick it up and read it, I will let you know how the book is as maybe it might help you as well.
God bless you and thank you for being there for me,
Maureen
188 - Mo
Dear Heidi,
One more thought, you mentioned that Virgil is everywhere in your heart but nowhere for you to hold, I believe that God is now holding your beloved Virgil in the palm of his loving hands, and that our beloved pets are now in a beautiful place and they are free spirits, playing joyfully just like they did when they were kittens, and there is no more pain. What can be more beautiful, you know?
Bless you, Maureen
189 - heartbroken
My heart goes out to you all, reading this has been so comforting. I was searching the internet about cats and their souls & what happens when they die when I found this page.
Our kitty died a week ago today, 18 years of age. She didn't suffer, but she was in the final stages of kidney failure and we made the decision to have her put to sleep. We did everything we could to prolong her life and make it as comfortable as possible, even giving her daily saline drips at home to rehydrate her. We had her since I was 7 and i'm now 25. I've never felt grief like this.. the first few days were awful. I felt sick the entire time and have just started eating again.
I know that we all have souls, but where did she go? That's the hardest thing about it all is that she just left us and that's it.. no signs or dreams of her or anything. And the feeling that i'm not there to protect her :/. The house is so empty without her, walking past the places she slept, everything is a reminder. The one thing that makes it a little better is knowing that I gave her all the love and affection I had and treasured every moment with her, knowing that this day would come.
I'll miss the way you headbutted me while making that little noise saying 'i love you'. I'm sorry I occasionally told you to shut up in the morning when you woke me up WAY too early. I pray to God i can see you again when i die, you were the greatest friend I will ever have.
We will miss you and love you forever, nothing will ever replace you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!
190 - heartbroken
just a piece of information - the vet told us that cats with kidney problems will sometimes wander off and get lost because they're disorientated, very sad but a good thing to know if you're dealing with this.
Mo: I just read your story and i'm so sorry, I can't imagine how awful that was for you! My heart really really goes out to you
I bet those cats couldn't have had a more wonderful home and life with you.
Take care
191 - heartbroken
Well i'm sorry to post yet another comment but something amazing just happened to me (still reading the stories here)
I think my cat just visited me, I just saw a white light move around at the foot of my bed & my lamp flickered for the next 30 seconds.. I felt her here.
wow
this is what i've been waiting for!
Thank you kitty i love you!!
192 - Hillary
I too feel better having read this, since I've been online every day looking for comfort since my baby Nala passed away in my arms on Monday night.
She fought kidney failure for four entire years, way outliving her prognosis. She was nearly 14 years old, and I brought her and Simba home the same day from 2 separate shelters, so they could grow up together as a team. Simba was with us through the entire process, including those last moments of her life - and while he wanted nothing to do with saying goodbye to her lifeless body, he has to have known that she was fading away and the constant attention I was giving her at his expense wasn't for good cause.
He's been absolutely wonderful to me these last few days, just sitting and looking at me while I cry, letting me know that he was there for me, but asking for nothing in return. I'll be there for him again soon, but Nala was all about her mama - and knew the perfect way to hold my finger with her paw, make me giggle as she kneaded her pillow, and gave me the best hugs on earth. And Simba, well he's a total lover who'll sit on my guests' laps and purr the minute they walk in - but is just a little bit more on his own agenda when it comes time for my pursuit of furry affection. Nala and I went through quite a road together, with all the pills, needles, special diets, and hospitalizations - and those daily med sessions were our own special bonding time. I'll miss her so very much. My morning routine which took 15 minutes is now reduced to 1. The house could not feel emptier for me and the boy.
My only struggle was at the time of her death - and I can't seem to find my answers anywhere online. Some others here have touched on it, and I am starting to feel better as I read. But my mind is tortured with thoughts of her last moments of life. I had no information from my vet about what to expect, and my euthanasia scheduled for the next day suddenly seemed too far away, but there was little I could do by the time I saw it coming. Her condition had deteriorated as others had described - and within days she had gone from one swollen paw to four as the edema set in, and on her last day she couldn't even sit up, let alone walk. I tried giving her meds that morning, hoping it would make her feel better, but at the last 2 pills she looked at me with a very clear face that said, please...just stop. And for the first time in 4 years, I did. I spent every other hour that day just holding her and telling her it was ok to let go. And 7pm, I came home from a walk outside to find her lifting her head and to give me a couple of meows. I later thought that was to make sure I knew not to leave her side again. We strolled around on the terrace, then I fed her a few bites of fresh chicken which she gobbled up by instinct until she realized it was too tiring to swallow, and she refused the water I tried to give her by oral syringe. We sat again together, and this time she was ready to give up her fight.
The trauma for me was what had ensued next. She started gagging violently, as if she needed to vomit - and then her bladder released. I turned her onto her stomach in case she did need to vomit, and with that she somehow rediscovered the ability to move, and she forcefully changed position and scrambled to the end of my knees and stretched out her entire body. The violent gagging continued, now with her pale little tongue twisting in all sorts of contorted ways, and her paws clenched as if she were terrified and in severe pain. I couldn't watch all of it, and I just cried for the suffering to be over, and at some point it was. I asked if she was still with me, but without even an ear twitch upon my touch, I just knew that she wasn't.
I was devastated by what I had seen - and angry that the vet hadn't told me what to expect if she died on her own. I felt guilty that I didn't euthanize her earlier in the day, realizing that might have prevented such a painful death. And now I'm just desperately seeking information.
My vet later told me what I witnessed was likely agonal breathing, which happens in most animal deaths regardless of euthanasia. So many others claim that their animals died peacefully in their arms, and I just wonder, did they not experience this as well? And my most pressing question is - and please tell me the truth - was she still alive and feeling the pain of what I had witnessed. My mom has tried to make me feel better by saying she probably wasn't really conscious, but I never saw her lose consciousness the entire time and to me it sure looked like an experience she was present for. I'm guilt-ridden by the thought of her in such pain, and I'm rather traumatized by seeing my little baby go through that as well.
Can anyone explain the physiology of death and at what point they're really considered "gone"?
Sorry for such a long posting. I love you chick pea and will miss you so very much. I hope I can find the right resting place for you, enough to be nearby your mama but far enough away to play in grass and hear the sound of birds rather than our noisy streets below. Big hug xoxo
193 - Victor
About a month ago I lost 1 of my 4 cats. She was 12 years old. She had started to lose control of bodily functions in the last 2 weeks of her life. There was a flea problem that struck all 4 cats but that was taken care of. Now on this night before Thanksgiving my nephew's cat, only 6 years old appears to be dying. He had been to the vet a week ago for problems with his ears. Now he's listless and vomiting yellow. We expect the worst.
194 - Randy
My cat LuckyGirl passed today. Jan 08, 2010 5:20 pm est. She was born Nov 1992. Give or take a week or so. I had heard crys on that cold November night. I knew she was just a small kitten. I could not see where she was had. So being so tired from traveling home. I forgot until the next afternoon. Once I looked I found here in the fence row. All most dead from exposer. Well that story end today 17 yrs 6 wks. I knew a couple fo days ago something was wrong. But also I knew from her age. Most vets would suggest putting an animal that age down. But we stayed with her she died at home. With us at her side. Gone but in a better place. I have read the other storys an they sad but help. Thanks Everyone! I hope Luckys story helps with someone else's lose. RLJ
195 - Cem
I lost my cat today.He was only 4 and half years old.I feel so much pain inside and hope he rests in peace.
196 - Sharon
Im so glad i found this site as my beloved cat "Brookie" died on Sunday. Until now I never knew losing a pet could hurt so much. My heart is broken and for days I have cried and still am. My little girl was my best friend and wonderful companion around our home. I find myself looking for her expecting to see her around the next corner. It hurts because i know i will never hold her little face in my hands again. I really hope there is such a thing as heaven so I might touch her again someday. Sadly Brookie was attacked by a neighbours dog. We found her rushed her straight to the vets. They operated on her, I thought we had made it through this awful experience but three weeks later at home she just died. I have been through a gamut of emotions from remorse to regret to guilt because she ended her life so tragically. I wont the world to know how much I loved my BROOKIE. I will miss you forever my friend. Thank you to everyone else for sharing your story, I dont feel so alone anymore and silly for the real ache that I feel inside my heart.
Sharon and Brooke forever...
197 - Sharon
Dear Heartbroken
I was searching the internet today to find out about cats and their souls. Where their spirits might go. I too came across this site. I have cried a river reading all these stories and truely feel comforted, because I too am heartbroken and wonder how long my heart will endure this ache. Sharon and heartbroken too.
198 - Candice Solomon
My cat just died Yesturday morning. He became suddenly ill and during the day progressively got worse. We could not figure out what was wrong with him,he showed no signs.Like you it was too late to go to the vet so we thought he would make it until morning.When I awoke the next morning he was laying on the floor on the landing near the stairs.His tail was protruding out and all puffed up. I picked up his tail and it was stiff. I told my husband that I think he was gone,and my husband swore he saw him breathing and thought he was still alive.This is very devastating to me.Everything happened so suddenly. My cat Jerry was only 1year and 6 months old.I cannot shake the guilt that I feel with his loss.I can't stop crying because he was my best bud,and I loved him so much.He loved me to and unconditionally.He was always with me in everything I'd do,and has left a hole in my heart. I am profoundly greiveing over this sudden loss, and a void that was once filled with his presence has come back. I am writting this in hopes that it will help me with my grief,and to seek support from others that I do not have at home.
199 - misszoe
reading these entries have been therapeutic. my cat died last weekend. we put her "to sleep" the day before her birthday. i have moments when i feel so touched by her sweetness and innocence and i miss her so much. she was a day shy of 11. and like so many of you expressed she journeyed with my husband and i-- through our relationship, between states, with new baby. i miss her soft fur and loving looks. she understood how to give to us and ways i never experienced. i know she was happy but i feel sad that i wasn't able to help her battle cancer.
we buried her in the front yard and i talk to her when i pass it-- she'll never leave me.
200 - Jake
Hello,
My cat Missy died monday afternoon around 5:30. She had a stroke a couple hours before that. I took her to the vet and had to have her put to sleep. She was 13 years old. It just doesn't feel the same around here with her gone now. I keep seeing her face looking up at me while i was on the way to the vet. She looked so scared and just not her usual sweet looking self. It brings tears to my eyes. Now I keep thinking and hoping that i will see her walking around the corner to watch me eat, or to get in bed and cuddle up next to me, or sit on my lap while i surf the net or watch TV. I feel like I've lost a child or a sibling, I really do. It's truly heart breaking :'( I think pets deserve to be missed and remembered just as much as people do. They have souls just as we do, i know they do. Gentle souls. I will miss my precious Missy always and she will always have a special place in my heart.
201 - Jake
I love you Missy girl!!!
202 - Marguerite Loftheim
Our KC passed away in my arms last week after a valiant battle with cancer and diabetes. Reading the comments brings sobs and tears as KC must have been giving us the same messages. He was fine one day and then all of a sudden he couldn't walk and wouldn't eat. He wanted to be close to us. I took him to the vet's. He spent the day with a tube into him. I picked him up and when I brought him home he was standing and drinking water. I thought we are on the mend. I put him on his blanket in the kitchen near food and liter. Went to bed. Around 3 am he made a loud calling noise and I immediately went to him. He as on the floor near his litter box. I put him in and he cried. I laid him down and went to get a pillow to sleep with him for the rest of the night. I had slept with him the night before. Cradling him in my arms telling him I would not let him suffer. That morning I picked him up and held him and all of a sudden he looked right into my eyes. I screamed for my husband and he came and sat with us and cried ans KC let urine loose and was gone. I wrapped him in his yellow blanket and put him on my husbands chair. It was one of KC's favorite places to sleep. I sat there hoping he would move. His eyes were open. My wonderful vet came the next morning to get him because I think I would have kept KC here for the day just to be sure. I miss him so much and know I will see him again. Wait for me KC. Mama will be there.
203 - Marguerite Loftheim
WE LOVE YOU "KC B!"
204 - Marek
Reading these posts from you all helped me so much. My cat, Kicia passed away today early morning in my girlfriends lap in the car on the way to a 24 hour open veterinary clinic. She was 6 years old.
I first met Kicia when out of a little lonelyness I visited an animal shelter, with no actual intention of walking out with one. However, Kicia (then a 12 week old kitten) reached with her paw at my fingers from in between the cage bars and I could not leave without her. She became my new family here in my new country that I now am fortunate to call home, Canada.
Kicia was a wonderful cat. She was all black with short soft fur and a white patch on her belly, and had the most beautiful green eyes. She was playful and had a very strong character.
Kicia was diagnosed with cat asthma about two years ago. She had episodes of heavy breathing and this one simply did not pass. After I heard her last miau, my girlfriend asked me to stop the car and burst into tears. I did, and I turned around, and had found my cat lying lifeless on my girls lap. It was midnight, may 22nd on a dark highway. I had never felt more helpless in my entire life.
Kicia, you were much too young to go like this. You were my fist companion that was always there for me as I sought to make a home for myself. Words cannot describe how much I will miss you. I sometimes dreamed of buying a home and allowing you to roam the surroundings, and it breaks my heart that I will have to realize this dream without you here. You shared all my ups and downs and as friends and partners came and went, you were there to share my joy and heartbreaks. I could have never asked for a better cat than you were to me.
I believe we will be reunited one day, when my time here is up. You will once again jump on my lap and purr when I pet you, and miau loudly in the morning to be fed before I have to leave for work.
Your always, wherever you are.
205 - melissa
To add my own story, I assisted a cat dying this weekend. Unfortunately for the cat, there was a fairly big sign. The poor thing spent about two days dying-- lying listlessly, refusing food, water. He peed once where he was, unable to get up. His breathing would speed up and he would meow as in pain, then it would quiet and he would sleep or stare. Sometimes he seemed to recognize me, sometimes not. The final hour he went through different seizures, each one painful. The last few he leaned his head back into me, crying in pain. He made what were several horrific dry heaves, as if his stomach were turning inside out. Then his entire body stretched in a terrible cramp, and it sounded like he was being squeezed like a balloon. Then he went limp. I too swore his heart was still buzzing (but not beating) but he was limp and warm, with no more obvious life in him. I was 100% sure he was done, and I was able to leave him in box and go take care of myself since the cat-hospice time was over. When he was stiff, several hours later, we buried him. As sure as I was, I had a horrible sense that he wasn't quite "dead" and a moment of panic before we buried him. His owner assured me he was gone, and of course he was.
I wish euthanasia had been an option, but over the memorial day weekend our vets were closed except for expensive emergency places.
At least he died in the company and comfort of a friend, and not in a field or on a floor alone. It's only a cat, but the scriptures state clearly to be kind to all creatures. My condolences to anyone reading here who has lost a beloved pet.
206 - ross borak
Yesterday I had to put down my sweet little Persian Ranger. She has been my buddy for 16 years. I loved her so much. We had a bond that was really special. She was always with me. Ate every meal with me. Stayed behind the curtains to shower with me. Slept on my belly at night. Just always right next to me to provide comfort. Never begged for a treat or a pet, just acceptd them when offered. So unconditional in her love in every way possible. I am having a really hard time and wish I could see her and touch her one more time. She was 16 on 5/27 but in such good health until 5 days ago. I wish everyone in this world would be nicer to animals and realize the pure joy they bring. I love you Ranger and thanks so much for 16 incredible years. I will never forget you and promise to think of you each and everyday for the rest of my life. When I die I will have your urn and ashes buried with me. Perhaps we shall one day have the chance to be together and I will see that great sweet face. Love Ross
207 - Jermaine
Hi, I'm so glad to have come across this site. My cat died last night aged 23. I am 25 years old and I live with my dad, since my mum left home when I was 10 I took reasonability for looking after my cat as dad isn’t pet person really. He would follow me to school, if I'd go past my house with my friend he would continue to follow me and even cry for me outside their houses. I was so close to him from looking after him for so long, he was the most spoilt cat so often I would have to offer a number of foods until he liked one, and then the next day he wouldn’t like it! Anyway im now 25 and tom had a accident when a couple of years ago. My sister came home and he came towards her car as often he would just walk right towards our car wheels so we had to get out and move him. One day my sister thought he would move if she kept going slow but tom didn’t move so she drove over his foot. I got the call from her and thought that was the end, when I got the vet his leg was flopping and he looked so scared at me, I cried so much that night whilst he had a operation to remove the leg. Tom recovered after the opp, although he became a indoor cat which as he was old he tended to like being in at that age. For the past two years it has been hard work looking after him as since the opp he started to wee himself but more often than not he was ok. I've been living in my room having to remove my bed sheets each morning to stop tom trying to jump up as he would wee himself and to be honest I think a lot of people would have and suggested that I give up on him then but no I've lived with him and Im glad I did until his end. I have read some comments on here and toms are very similar, he had a scab on his head which had always been there. The last three months it started to discharge and I was cleaning him every day as it would go on side of his head. The past two weeks it became worse and was going to one of his eyes, I took him vet and they said continue to salt water clean him. Now the past three days he was continuing to wee himself, I thought he had injured his only leg and that was preventing him going to the tray but no I realise he was getting weak on his bottom half. Last night he couldnt move at all, would just put head down and I could pretty much position him and he would hold. I could tell this was going to be the end, around 11pm started being sick and it was brown stuff coming out, his chest was huffing but slowly. I cuddled him and cried and he just became unresponsive and his leg stretched out which from reading these posts sounds like that the final part. By this time I knew nothing to help tom. The next morning I checked him again even though I knew he died something still telling me it wasnt true. I have buried him in the garden and hope I can always see him. I am having a baby and moving into a new home soon and there was a real concern about what we would do. As it was new home you couldn’t having a room dedicated to him and with him weeing it wouldn’t have been good for the baby. I still told my girlfriend we would do find somewhere for tom!
anyway whilst writing this I am looking in his spot and thinking of him. I wish he got to see my baby I even used to call tom my brother when I was little. I miss you tom and I wont ever forget the good times we had, there will never be a another pet who could mean so much as you grew up with me and Im so scared for you right now but I have to be strong and remember you live a long life and that you can rest in peace now. I’m laughing at what a silly cat you could be, thanks for being my pet and sticking with me for so long. You went through so much and you was ever so strong. Goodbye tom, forever I promise. Jermaine x
208 - mary
Many thanks to all the wonderful people who love cats. You all are angels. My parents cat died yesterday and reading all of your comments has made such a difference. He was very frail and could not walk the last day. He lay under the rose bush, when finally my dad found him and placed him in his comfy bed. The next morning he piece fully passed away. I am sure they will find us when we pass away, they have so much love that they will greet us to make it comfortable for our final journey.
209 - barb
i dont know what to do, my cat is dying and just laying there, breathing in the bathroom, changes positions, glazed eyes, I knew he would not last long but he took a turn for the worse. I could take him in and put him down but he seems to acknowledge me a little when I pet him and keeps breathing. He gets carsick, always has. I found him when some kids threw him out because tehy didnt want him. I took on his medical problems and was told he may not last through surgery, and the medication - 500 later he was allergic too. Don't think I want to move him, but he keeps breathing harder, not fidgeting, but moving places in his bathroom. Was at one time sleeping in his catbox. Is it cruel not to bring him in to put him down. is he in pain
210 - Diane
My cat Daisy will be 20 this summer, she was born in the wild so do not exact date. Over the last few months she has struggled to groom herself but has stopped going outside to do her business. She has a liiter tray but is missing it and always goes behind chairs or corners of the room if able. So I have been clearing up very sloppy messes for weeks now. Daisy has been bright in herself although about 4 weeks ago her back legs showed signs of giving way but fully recovered.
My BIG problem now is that I left her in a restricted space by the back door with warmth, water, food (wet and dry) and her bed, next to the cat flap and when I got home from work she has completely vanished. Daisy had eaten her wet food, left about 3 messes to clear up, but no sign of her. That was Monday evening now it is Wednesday morning. I have searched everywhere for her, garden (which is quite selfcontained with high walls for an old cat) talked to neighbours and even ventured down the pathway to the very quiet village road we live by, checking all the hedgrow. Daisy has just vanished! I do know if she is alive or dead or worse still whether she died alone in pain. I feel very gulity about not letting have more space in the house but the smell and messes to clear up were horrendous. She had been to the vets twice in the last4 weeks and been given medication to stabilize the poos.
Feeling worried, sad and very lonely without her. Even imagining I'm hearing her cries!
211 - Mary
Diane - I hope you have found your Daisy.
My 18 year old cat died on 29 March. She had got very thin, not eating properly, drinking a lot of water, occasionally week in back legs. Early morning I heard her cry and she was lying on her side on the floor. Quite soon after she became unresponsive although she was still breathing for over and hour. Then stopped.
Thanks for everyone's messages, it helps to read similar stories.
I do hope cats have a soul.
212 - Liss
Thank you to everyone who wrote. I am so sad, my son's 10 year old cat died this morning. She had a history of constipation and a couple years ago we spent a lot of money fixing this. This time we tried several home remedies that we read about on vet websites. She would "go" but then "not go" for many days. She eventually stopped eating and then drinking. It was a hard decision to let her die, but the treatments have been so invasive for her and difficult. We were going to bring her to the vet this morning when they opened but she died at around 7:10. My son and I were with her, in the car, bringing her to the emergency room. I am overcome with guilt that we should have taken her to the doctor sooner, last week, the week before. But we were pretty sure what the answer was there -- expensive tests and invasive treatments. My son woke me up at about 6:30 to tell me she was dying. She was writhing around for about 10 minutes before she died and her breathing was on and off. I feel awful if she suffered in those last minutes. But we were both with her, telling her that we loved her. This is so much harder than I imagined. I believe her soul is in heaven and I am taking some comfort knowing that her body is at peace.
213 - Diane Talbot
My sweet Bear died on May 21st ,the day of rapture at six p.m.It was said that the Lord was going to take the chosen ones that day and it does not surprise me that He chose Bear. He was an indoor/outdoor cat but that morning he came home to die with us. He was drooling, eyes dilated and very weak. Just days before he was fine but at 14 yrs. old these things happen. He was in his favorite bed and called for me at times so I decided to hold him till the end came. I gave him a homeopathic herb for pain and he stopped crying. We sat on the back porch and listened to the birds of which he was so fond of though that feeling was not reciprocated. My dogs sat with us and were unusually quiet. I petted him throughout and told him how I loved him and he was mt best boy ever. He suddenly hunched forward and let out a long howl and then relaxed. Bear did not go quietly as he had cheated death twice before and knew this foe well. I am not an over religious person but I felt that Bear had released his soul when he went. We buried him under the bird feeder(where else) .I have cried every day since and will miss this creature till the day I die .
214 - Tammy
Our little black friend, our 3 year old cat, Zen, died Sunday (Father's Day), just before midnight. I have such a broken heart and I miss him so very much. He had not been eating for 3 days, and grew increasingly listless. He tried to hang on for me, I am sure. I don't know exactly what was wrong; he had been having trouble urinating, and I thought my efforts were helping him feel better. Somehow, all day I had flash visuals of him no longer being with us. Our other cat seemed to keep his distance that last day....
My daughter is 15, and has been in as much grief and pain, though she is convinced that he is returning. He left us a strange sign, very typical of him. The next day after he died, we went to find a burial spot, just perfect for him. We returned late in the day, and my daughter frantically called me to the bathroom. There were two distinct spots of cat pee, sprayed on the mirror. There is NO physical, possible way for them to get there, it would be impossible. They were up high on the mirror, and someone would have had to pick up a cat, turn him backside to the mirror, put his butt against it, and force him to spray. It is just not possible, and I know it was my little Zen, telling us somehow, that he is okay now. One spot, which was lower on the mirror, had tiny white flecks in the pee and looked dirty. The white flecks made me think of crystalization...? And the other was clean. My daughter smelled it initially, and no mistake, it was pee. What a little weirdo! We always teased him about being so 'dirty'; he used to sit on the edge of the litter box, scratch a hole so deep, and then poop. Only he would be facing the wrong direction. :) He would kick litter around right after we swept, making a huge mess. The litter box was in the bathroom, so it seemes fitting to find pee on the bathroom mirror, where we would be sure to notice it and there would be no denying it came from him. It can't be denied, there is no explanation for it. It is such a void not having him around....I cry incessantly at times. My daughter felt him sit on the couch cushion behind her head yesterday. She feels him around. Our other cat doesn't seem to miss him, which bothers me, and I feel mad at him, a little. But she believes it's because they had a conversation, and he knows Zen will return, that his body just couldn't hold him anymore. I am plagued with guilt, feeling like it was my fault....I kept giving him water in a dropper, to keep him hydrated. He couldn't pee it out. He died tragically; my daughter saw him convulse and choke, and held him as he looked up at the night sky, watching the trees blow in the wind, and his little body went limp and his head slumped in her arms. He was gone. We believe he was waiting for me to not be around while it happened, knowing I could not take seeing it that way. At about 11:45 p.m. my daughter told me to get the laundry she had forgotten in the dryer, so I left, and she said he jumped off her lap, and all the violent turmoil inflicting him was unseen by me. He knew she could handle it better. When I came back, he was on the floor, mouth open, and I knew he was dying. I actually think I knew all day, and I think he tried to once but I caught him, so he stayed with me awhile longer. I miss his physical presence beyond belief. I miss his tiny paws, his silky black fur, his meows when he wanted food, his weird and cute little ways. He was so young still. The comfort I can find right now comes from knowing that he knew how very much he was loved by us. He was safe and warm and fed, a perfect cat life. I just need to erase the thoughts and images associated with his final hours, and the guilt is not helping me so I have to release it as well. I will, because I understand the value. For now, I am processing through this with the help of my beautiful daughter, and she brings me back to the beautiful memories we have of him, never to be forgotten.
I miss you Zen, so very, very much. I can't wait to see you again someday, in this life or next, and I picture you lazily licking yourself, content and peaceful, and free from the pain you must have went through on Sunday, that I saw in your eyes. I felt so very sad for you all day, and i am so sorry I couldn't help you. I have to keep remembering, if it was meant to be different, it would have been. I love you my little friend, forever and ever.
215 - Shelley
My Adam was taken by a coyote off our back step yesterday. He had been with us for 11 years, 4 months and two weeks. He was a stray and quite enjoyed the luxury of carpets, soft couches, beds and duvets. We got him from a friend's place after my mother died, I thought he would be company for my father while I was at work. And he was. He was a wonderful companion, mischievous, loving, a real sweetheart, I have lost pets before, this time I am completely devastated. All I can think of is his last moments and how I wasn't there for him. I told him, I loved him, everyday. You will always be in my heart Adam, you were the perfect little kitty
216 - B.R.
Shelly, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose a member of your family like that.
I lost my old guy Tygh on 8/26/2007, 18 years after I got him. He'd lost 3 of his friends, Sally, Samantha & Paul, over the years, and had made a new friend, Ferguson, just a little over year before. Tygh could get along with just about anyone, human, feline or canine. I think he influenced Fergs, because while our other cats might not like each other, they all get along with him.
I'll never forget Tygh, or any of my 'kids'.
217 - Mariel
I sympatise with all who lost a dearly loving pet. I write this with tears in my eyes. I lost my baby boy, because thats what I called my black cat of 8 yaers Fritzi. The vet could not make out exactly what was wrong with him,the blood tests apart from a low blood count did not reveal much but he grew thinner,had a lump in belly ,diarrhea which dragged on for 11 months. He could not control his pee in the end and I felt utterly guilty to deprive him from entering in certain rooms in the house,he was my baby who talked to me ,hugged my he was adorable. Unfortunately I had to put him to sleep on the 10th of December 2010. I still miss him terribly,he broke my heart. He died in my arms,my sweetest Fritzi. Mummy still loves you and can t wait to meet you again and kiss you like I used to especially during the last weeks of your life. You are always in my heart.
218 - Bea
I got my children a kitten for easter a cute little black and white fellow. His name was Rufus. We got him all his shots, and he was just neutred a month ago, right after being neutred he wasn't as playful or sponky as he was before which we thought would happen. Then he got diaherra , still was eating and seemed to be ok. Until a few days ago he started to continuely want to be on me, my husband or my kids shoulder right up under our chin and not leave are side which we thought was so sweet and adorable, little did we know that was his way of saying I'm sick, because he died a day later , he started to get the diaherria again, wobbled and couldn't walk all of a sudden then he started to meow real loud and then took a few last breaths and died. It was a Sunday afternoon and we called every Vet under the sun and noone was open to help us. MY four children ages 4,9,13,16 watch this kitten only 6mos old die, I was at work , husband was home and tryed to save him. I'm am devastated and so are my children for we had become so in love with Rufus and want to know how could he go from being a happy healthy kitten to sudduenly sick and die. Should I have not gotten him neutred did that cause this? Or what could have been wrong with our baby? I haven't stopped crying since it happened and I just want an answer to what was wrong with him that we didn't know? What could we have done to save him ? And when does the hurt of lossing a pet go away and the guilt of not being able to help this kitten stop for me and my children?? We love and miss you Rufus you were like no other cat to us so playful and loving and we will never forget you. love always your Kitty lovin family...
219 - Teresa
My cat Tata is dying. She is an 18 year old Siamese. Her sister passed away on Easter last year. It is as hard to sit by Tata's side as and know we are counting down the minutes as it has been when I have sat with family and friends for the same reason.
Our pet family never asks too much from us, they are there to GIVE to us. I am a religious person and I do believe in the souls of animals. I have sent a special prayer to my Grandfather to be on the look outfor another member of my family. What a joyous day it will be when we are all reunited!
220 - Laurent
Some beautiful testimonials here.
Kate (post 180), I relate to your story, my little cat, Mitzy, was killed in Greece a long time ago, in similar circumstances to yours.
I didn’t realize how many of us feel similarly about our animal companions, and the void they can leave when they’re gone. I recorded a song about the passing of Mitzy. I hope this jazz walz/bossa can bring some solace, and even smiles, to fellow cat lovers who have lost a little one. You can read the lyrics and listen to the entire song for free at Waltzy for Mitzy by Laurent Carrer. Hope you like it.
221 - Julie Garrett
My cat has been super sick for a few months and now I think he's at the end... he is very weak, tried to get off the couch and fell, can't walk steadily, not eating or drinking .. he still purrs when I hold him but he is super thin ... he threw up several times tonight; I found him with vomit on his fur and no interest in grooming himself. He doesn't seem to be in obvious pain although I'm sure he feels terrible. A part of me wants to call the vet and have her come to the house and put him down ... I don't want him to suffer, and it's hard watching him go through this; I would like to end it for us both. My vet feels like we should honor our pet's dying process and let them die naturally. She feels like too many pets are put down too soon. I don't know what I'm going to do. Tonight, I just held my beloved kitty and cried and thanked him for his beautiful presence. He has been a great kitty and companion, and I've loved him so much. I will miss him. He just showed up at my house a few years ago .. a wild feral cat who I gradually trained and we gradually fell in love until he is my little friend and companion... I called him Mean Cat b/c he was originally so fierce and used to bite. But now we call him Sweet Cat... He is sweet. Animals... we love them, but they break our hearts. Sympathy and compassion for all owners of departing kitties. We love them so.
222 - Tracey
Sid, our 9 year old British blue left his body this morning. I held him for the last 2 hours of his life. He had a tumour removed 4 weeks ago but it had spread so we knew we had little time. His back legs started to give way 2 days ago but the vet assured us that as long as he was connecting and purring then he was not in any pain. I could tell by looking in his eyes that he was comfortable.
He laid on his side with his legs stretched out and his breathing became very slow. I was talking to him and and reassuring him. Something very strange happened though... he lifted his head to gaze upwards and then moved his back and front legs so strongly as if he was running somewhere. He did this about four times. He then had some slight gagging movements, and then settled again. His breathing became shallow and his paws became very cold. He was so peaceful with his eyes open and then he very gently bought his front paws up to his nose as if curling into a tiny ball like a baby and then his pupils dilated to the size of his eyes... it was an incredible experience... and that was when he left his body. Calmly, peacefully and surrounded by love.
I'm so sad that he has left us and we loved him very, very much but I'm also so relieved that he was at home with his family and was allowed to die in a natural and loving environment.
223 - Gez
We found our 16 year old cat dead today after it had disappeared a week ago.
Is it true they know when they are about to die and go to a place they are comfortable with? His eyes were open which I've read could be regamortise. I'm hoping he just died in his sleep. He didn't look like he'd been I'll.
224 - Anamika Rawat
I had my beloved baby, a turkish van killed by dogs in the early morning hours, just a week back. But the day before she was killed, she spent the entire night with us sleeping and drank her favourite drink milk almost every hour. It was strange feeling because she behaved restless and craved for attention, even though I never fell short of giving her love or showering her with affection. She was such a sweetheart that everyone fell in love with her at first sight.
But I did have an intuition a week before and a very terrible dream of about my loss. I didnt know that i'l lose my beloved pet Bruna(who was more than my baby to me)
I had adopted her, after she lost her way to my home. I had fallen in love with her the moment I saw her and knew that she has to be with me. Whatever little time she lived with me, it feels like eternity. She was a soulful and fun loving, indpendent cat who hadn't reached complete maturity!
The day she died/killed by dogs, We kept searching for her. Deep down inside I knew something is wrong with her. Much to my worst dream of my life, I saw her lay dead in front of my house!! I am unable to get out of this grief. It hard for me to ever adopt a pet because there is no replacement for Bruna. But deep down inside I belive that Bruna was a God sent Angel- who won hearts. She came for good but I hate the fact that this baby lived for just 13 months! I wish God could be more just with her and me. I miss her terribly because she and me shared a bond which was a spiritual bond and love, affection which was never enough for us both.
Bruna, i pray to God every minute to keep you in good health. i think of you always, u were my queen with us-dear God, I have given her unconditional love so please do shower her with all your affection. She is a lovely soul who seeks love! honey, my love will always keep you warm. I miss your early morning kisses and ur licking me. I wish I could be there to save you. Bruna, do not feel lonely for I know that you shall be united with me when i come to you!
Untill then lots of love to you bruna.
yours beloved mother
225 - Joanne
I had been looking for my 13 year old cat all day yesterday,figuring that she was hiding.I waited,at 2:30 this morning I still could not find her so I opened up a can of catfood and the other cats came running,but not my beloved TIKI.Then I started my search--I found her cold and stiff under my bed.I just wish I knew how long she was under there before I found her.We are all grieving even the other cats are meowing throughout the house now looking for her.Funny how they didn't alert me