The loss of a beloved pet can be just as painful and raise the same eternal questions as the loss of human family or friends.
I had a cat die tonight, about an hour ago. We noticed it was sick and listless today, but after the vet had closed, unfortunately. We thought we would take it to the vet the first thing in the morning.
That didn't work out. We kept him by the bed on an old pillow tonight. He's normally an outside cat but it's cold out in addition to the cat being sick. After hardly being able to move he suddenly started crashing around, trying to get out of his bed. His mouth was opening and closing and he made a moaning noise.…
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176 - Mary
Hi Everyone
I have been reading everyone's comments and have been really touched by what has been written.
I wonder if anyone has any thoughts about what I should do...
My cat has been missing since Wednesday night when I let her out.
She is 18, has hyperthyroidism (medicated), early stages of kidney failure and also a tumor (which wasn't known to be cancerous, but had grown very large). She is very thin but was eating a little and was still very lively when I let her outside.
Since she hasn't returned, I have gone through the whole process of trying to find her. I think she probably found a nice cozy place to sleep and just never woke up.
I wish I hadn't let her out for the night, but it isn't an unusual thing for me to do (she often stays out at night). I didn't expect that would be how she would go.
She was all smoochy the night before, so at least I have that.
I really just want to say good-bye properly.
When I was putting 'round flyers, I saw another cat go under a nearby house and was thinking of asking if the neighbors would check under their house to see if my cat is there, but I don't know if I should, especially if we can't get at her. I don't even know how long I would have to get her body to the vet so she can be cremated (I don't have a big enough yard to bury her in).
If anyone has thoughts on this, it would be very much appreciated.
177 - Mary
Hi again
I just had a neighbor call.
He said he has seen a number of cats go in under the house I mentioned and that he would probably have a look with a flashlight himself since the neighbors are away at the moment.
That has given me some courage and I may have a look myself.
I don't know how we will get her out if she is there, though.
Best wishes to you all.
178 - Mary
I have tried to have a look but with no success - you cannot easily see under the house for any distance whatsoever. I guess I will just have to wait until the neighbors are back...
179 - Mary
My cat is deceased. On Tuesday I looked on our local website which shows missing and found cats. My cat had been found on Sunday two streets away and was taken to the SPCA. I called and spoke with someone there. My cat was in a very bad state when she was brought in and was euthanized. Although everyone was pretty sure from my description that it was her, I went in yesterday and identified her. She didn't look too bad. And I was able to give her a bit of a pat. Her fur was still soft. Poor thing. Apparently she had been hanging around where she was found for a couple of weeks. I wonder if she got lost or just wasn't well enough to come back. I am glad whoever found her brought her in to the SPCA so she didn't have to suffer anymore. I asked them to pass on my thanks to the people who brought her in. At least I know what happened to her and that someone was looking out after her. And I will have her back home. I am having her cremated and will get her ashes on Tuesday. Then I will bury her ashes out back by the bush where she liked to sleep in the dappled sunlight.
180 - kate
I love cats very much, i agreed to give a home to a little kitten who had been dumped in a box with her brothers and sisters. She had been to small to be taken from her mother. This was 19 months ago. She became my best friend and a very loving, special little girl.
Yesterday i came home to find a note on my front door it said.
Sorry but poppy has been killed, She's in the bin on the main road best not to look, very sorry.
Im sat here crying, i cant stop. i haven't slept and i cant eat. I know that this will pass but i just hurts so much.
i really wanted my little girl to live a long happy life.
But what is really upsetting me is she deserves better than to be in a bin, she is still there but i cant bring myself to go and get her and give her a little dignity as i know she was hit by a car and she will not be in a nice state.
What makes this worse is it seems that this was no accident, cats are not liked very much in cyprus and it appears that someone has swerved the car to hit her on purpose.
Some people are so evil she was not a pest or stray she was part of my family and now she is dead in a rubbish bin down the street before she even had her second birthday.
181 - bliffle
As consolation, Kate, just consider that you gave that kitten a caring and loving experience that she might never have had but for your effort. And that she reciprocated with a loving experience that will always be with you.
182 - Mo
Lost Muffin 3-10-0
183 - Mo
Hello, On 2-16-09 I had to have my 15 year old hyperthroid cat put to sleep. He had been on thyroid meds for three years and the last year or so have been really tough because he hollered day and night, then the last week or so he wouldn't eat at all> It was really a blessing to have his put at peace. Well, after he was gone, I was so grateful to have my Beloved Muffin who was only 10 1/2. On a Tuesday, Muffy stopped eating, two days later she had a seizure in the middle of the night and when I went to comfort her, her pupils were fixed and dilated and she tried to get up but could not walk. Took her to the Emergency Vet and he said that her blood sugar was dangerously low in the 20 range and it should be up to the 70 range. He gave her glucose and told me I could take her home and to follow up with my own vet in the morning. While I was paying my bill, she started shaking all over again and it was another seizure. They gave her more glucose and valium too. Brought her home and she was almost like the size of a basketball with all the fluids in her. I followed up with my own vet in the a.m. and he felt her and he said that she had a lump the size of a lemon behind her liver which he thought to be cancer but he asked me to leave her so he could take tests and return at 5:00 p.m. I returned at 5:00 p.m. and he said he has the worst possible news, that she has a mass on her pancreas and intestine and that he really should do a biopsy but that she was too weak to do so. He gave me a syringe and soft canned food and told me to force feed her every hour and to also give her a sweet substance every four hours to keep her blood sugar up. I did this and 24 hours later, everything came up. Muffy was able to walk or stagger to the litter box and she drank water and also licked lamb food off of my finger and I was hopeful she would recover. I started feeding her with the syringe about every 3 hours and that seemed to stay down. Two days later, I was out for a couple of hours and when I returned home, she was laying on her side behind my sofa with her pupils fixed and dilated. I picked her up and she whimpered and I held her on my lap until the wee hours of the morning and petted her and told her how much I loved her. The following morning, I found her laying on her side again on the bathroom floor next to the toilet bowl again with pupils fixed and dilated. I couldn't bear to see her suffer like this anymore as I loved her so much. She was like a child to me and slept next to my shoulder for the 10 1/2 years that I had her. I brought Muffy to the Vet that morning when they opened and sat with her as the vet gave her the injections. It took about 30 minutes as the vet said she was so dehydrated that there was a problem finding a vein.
What shocks me to this day is how suddenly my little Muffy became ill. On the previous Sunday, I was making Carrot cupcakes and she jumped on the counter as she wanted to sniff around and I had to chase her away. Then the following day, I had a chicken breast on the counter and I turned around to turn my Geo. Foreman Grill on and Muffy was running away on the counter with the raw chicken breast in her mouth. Then the following day she wouldn't eat and two days later the seizures began.
I loved her so much and I have not cried so hard since I lost my Mom 40 years ago. I will never forget her and she will always be in my heart. I have her ashes on my TV with a photo on the front of the container and I want to purchase some cremation jewelry so I can have a small amount of the ashes inside the heart and wear it around my neck. But it has been three weeks ago yesterday that I lost her and I just can't bear to have the container opened. I don't believe I will ever get over this and it is almost like I am numb a large part of the time and sometimes I have to force myself to get out and do something because I actually feel as though I am going to be faint or ill to my stomach. Muffy and I did love each other unconditionally and what helps me getting thru this, is the thought that we will always be together and that we will see each other gain. Thanks so much for allowing me to share - God bless.
184 - heidi
our precious virgil died this morning at 3:01 AM. we had some time to say goodbye (5 days), but when it actually happens, it's till very hard. both my husband and i woke up a few minutes before he died. we heard him sneeze, once and then sneeze again. it was a normal kind of sneeze, not at all like the few noises he had made earlier. i felt his little body for breathing, and knew he was gone. we can't help but think, he woke us up, like he always did when he wanted us.
he had lost a lot of weight over the previous months, and stopped eating the last week, and drinking in the last days. i tried to hand feed him with watered down food, thought about baby food, then tried to give him whatever i thought he would take. he wouldn't eat. he would drink from his special place--on the pass thru sill between the kitchen and the dining room--he liked to drink from a pitcher. he'd jump up and do that paw thing that cats do before he'd drink and then lap up the water, with drops still on his chin. the last few weeks he'd gotten weaker and more unsteady on his feet. i put chairs next to the counter so he could jump up to this water. he lost a lot of weight and was only bones, skin and hair. he would only drink in his special place. we made "beds" for him in every room in the house, but he wouldn't stay in them very long.
he'd always get up, something in him kept him fighting. he wasn't in pain, and he would spend energy trying to get out when he was kept confined. we took turns taking him wherever we thought he wanted to head to.
the last 3 days, he would sleep most of the time and be as still as can be for 30" and then suddenly pop up his head (as if to say-I'm not ready to go yet, so i'm gonna go over there) stand up all wobbly, take a few steps, his back legs would splay out because he was so weak, take a few steps and collapse. it was as if he didn't know he was weak and in a semi coma. he was "virgil" to the end. he just kept getting up, wobbling a few steps and collapse heading to wherever his mind told him to go to. he never made it, but that didn't seem to matter to him.
the vet had told us he had kidney failure. we decided to keep him at home and let him do whatever he wanted. if he was heading somewhere, we'd pick him up and take him there. we didn't restrain him, though, i worried he still wanted to jump up, missing, and falling backward when i wasn't quick enough.
2 days before he died, the weather warmed up and i took him into the backyard-he loved to sit in the sun- and let him walk on the grass and wherever he wanted to go. he was able to muster a few more steps before he's collapse. i finally held him in my arms, talking to him, telling him how much we loved him and that he would always stay in the garden in the sun in a place he loved so much. i am so glad we were able to take him outside before he died.
it is so very comforting to read everyone's stories about their precious cats. it is very comforting to hear about their last loving moments with their families were like. i feel so sad when i read stories where death came without warning, and feel devastated for families when there were no goodbyes.
i feel honored to have been in virgil's life and to have been allowed time with him. we got him and his "sister" 15 years ago and have had the privilege of loving him all his life. he gave so much love and joy to us, we are so grateful to him for the gifts he brought.
185 - Mo
Dear Heidi:
I am so very sorry for your loss. You gave Virgil a beautiful and wonderful life. I lost my Muffy one month and two days ago, and I feel numb a large part of the time, but I pray for God's help in aiding me to focus on all of Muffy's good days. I have her ashes in a beautiful wooden oak box with her photo on the front and I purchased cremation jewelry (heart on another heart) and I have a small amount of her ashes in that which I wear around her neck.
I am praying for you and asking for God's help for you to get thru your loss.
Bless you, Mo
186 - heidi
dear mo,
i think i know how you feel. i miss virgil so much, he's everywhere in my heart but no where for me to hold.it is very hard to cope with the ache in my heart. i am so sorry you feel that pain too.
187 - Mo
Dear Heidi:
Thank you so much for your kindness. This is the toughest that I have endured since I lost my Mom 40 years ago. I never married nor had any children so my Muffy was like my child. I just returned home from a dental appointment and both the receptionist and I are cat lovers and I talked about my loss and the tears still flow freely. I will never get over Muffy but she will always always be a part of me. I will miss her till the day I die but I trust people when they tell me that it will get a little easier with time. I still awaken during the night and think about her as she always slept next to my shoulder, and when this happens, I start to pray which gives me some comfort. I feel so blessed to have had her in my life and I try to focus on all of her good days and not the tough time that she endured in the last week of her life.
Heidi, please know that I am praying for you and Virgil each and every day. A dear friend recommended the book "All pets go to Heaven" to me and I have tried to read it but at this time, it is somewhat difficult for me to concentrate. Sometime in the future, when I am able to pick it up and read it, I will let you know how the book is as maybe it might help you as well.
God bless you and thank you for being there for me,
Maureen
188 - Mo
Dear Heidi,
One more thought, you mentioned that Virgil is everywhere in your heart but nowhere for you to hold, I believe that God is now holding your beloved Virgil in the palm of his loving hands, and that our beloved pets are now in a beautiful place and they are free spirits, playing joyfully just like they did when they were kittens, and there is no more pain. What can be more beautiful, you know?
Bless you, Maureen
189 - heartbroken
My heart goes out to you all, reading this has been so comforting. I was searching the internet about cats and their souls & what happens when they die when I found this page.
Our kitty died a week ago today, 18 years of age. She didn't suffer, but she was in the final stages of kidney failure and we made the decision to have her put to sleep. We did everything we could to prolong her life and make it as comfortable as possible, even giving her daily saline drips at home to rehydrate her. We had her since I was 7 and i'm now 25. I've never felt grief like this.. the first few days were awful. I felt sick the entire time and have just started eating again.
I know that we all have souls, but where did she go? That's the hardest thing about it all is that she just left us and that's it.. no signs or dreams of her or anything. And the feeling that i'm not there to protect her :/. The house is so empty without her, walking past the places she slept, everything is a reminder. The one thing that makes it a little better is knowing that I gave her all the love and affection I had and treasured every moment with her, knowing that this day would come.
I'll miss the way you headbutted me while making that little noise saying 'i love you'. I'm sorry I occasionally told you to shut up in the morning when you woke me up WAY too early. I pray to God i can see you again when i die, you were the greatest friend I will ever have.
We will miss you and love you forever, nothing will ever replace you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!
190 - heartbroken
just a piece of information - the vet told us that cats with kidney problems will sometimes wander off and get lost because they're disorientated, very sad but a good thing to know if you're dealing with this.
Mo: I just read your story and i'm so sorry, I can't imagine how awful that was for you! My heart really really goes out to you
I bet those cats couldn't have had a more wonderful home and life with you.
Take care
191 - heartbroken
Well i'm sorry to post yet another comment but something amazing just happened to me (still reading the stories here)
I think my cat just visited me, I just saw a white light move around at the foot of my bed & my lamp flickered for the next 30 seconds.. I felt her here.
wow
this is what i've been waiting for!
Thank you kitty i love you!!
192 - Hillary
I too feel better having read this, since I've been online every day looking for comfort since my baby Nala passed away in my arms on Monday night.
She fought kidney failure for four entire years, way outliving her prognosis. She was nearly 14 years old, and I brought her and Simba home the same day from 2 separate shelters, so they could grow up together as a team. Simba was with us through the entire process, including those last moments of her life - and while he wanted nothing to do with saying goodbye to her lifeless body, he has to have known that she was fading away and the constant attention I was giving her at his expense wasn't for good cause.
He's been absolutely wonderful to me these last few days, just sitting and looking at me while I cry, letting me know that he was there for me, but asking for nothing in return. I'll be there for him again soon, but Nala was all about her mama - and knew the perfect way to hold my finger with her paw, make me giggle as she kneaded her pillow, and gave me the best hugs on earth. And Simba, well he's a total lover who'll sit on my guests' laps and purr the minute they walk in - but is just a little bit more on his own agenda when it comes time for my pursuit of furry affection. Nala and I went through quite a road together, with all the pills, needles, special diets, and hospitalizations - and those daily med sessions were our own special bonding time. I'll miss her so very much. My morning routine which took 15 minutes is now reduced to 1. The house could not feel emptier for me and the boy.
My only struggle was at the time of her death - and I can't seem to find my answers anywhere online. Some others here have touched on it, and I am starting to feel better as I read. But my mind is tortured with thoughts of her last moments of life. I had no information from my vet about what to expect, and my euthanasia scheduled for the next day suddenly seemed too far away, but there was little I could do by the time I saw it coming. Her condition had deteriorated as others had described - and within days she had gone from one swollen paw to four as the edema set in, and on her last day she couldn't even sit up, let alone walk. I tried giving her meds that morning, hoping it would make her feel better, but at the last 2 pills she looked at me with a very clear face that said, please...just stop. And for the first time in 4 years, I did. I spent every other hour that day just holding her and telling her it was ok to let go. And 7pm, I came home from a walk outside to find her lifting her head and to give me a couple of meows. I later thought that was to make sure I knew not to leave her side again. We strolled around on the terrace, then I fed her a few bites of fresh chicken which she gobbled up by instinct until she realized it was too tiring to swallow, and she refused the water I tried to give her by oral syringe. We sat again together, and this time she was ready to give up her fight.
The trauma for me was what had ensued next. She started gagging violently, as if she needed to vomit - and then her bladder released. I turned her onto her stomach in case she did need to vomit, and with that she somehow rediscovered the ability to move, and she forcefully changed position and scrambled to the end of my knees and stretched out her entire body. The violent gagging continued, now with her pale little tongue twisting in all sorts of contorted ways, and her paws clenched as if she were terrified and in severe pain. I couldn't watch all of it, and I just cried for the suffering to be over, and at some point it was. I asked if she was still with me, but without even an ear twitch upon my touch, I just knew that she wasn't.
I was devastated by what I had seen - and angry that the vet hadn't told me what to expect if she died on her own. I felt guilty that I didn't euthanize her earlier in the day, realizing that might have prevented such a painful death. And now I'm just desperately seeking information.
My vet later told me what I witnessed was likely agonal breathing, which happens in most animal deaths regardless of euthanasia. So many others claim that their animals died peacefully in their arms, and I just wonder, did they not experience this as well? And my most pressing question is - and please tell me the truth - was she still alive and feeling the pain of what I had witnessed. My mom has tried to make me feel better by saying she probably wasn't really conscious, but I never saw her lose consciousness the entire time and to me it sure looked like an experience she was present for. I'm guilt-ridden by the thought of her in such pain, and I'm rather traumatized by seeing my little baby go through that as well.
Can anyone explain the physiology of death and at what point they're really considered "gone"?
Sorry for such a long posting. I love you chick pea and will miss you so very much. I hope I can find the right resting place for you, enough to be nearby your mama but far enough away to play in grass and hear the sound of birds rather than our noisy streets below. Big hug xoxo
193 - Victor
About a month ago I lost 1 of my 4 cats. She was 12 years old. She had started to lose control of bodily functions in the last 2 weeks of her life. There was a flea problem that struck all 4 cats but that was taken care of. Now on this night before Thanksgiving my nephew's cat, only 6 years old appears to be dying. He had been to the vet a week ago for problems with his ears. Now he's listless and vomiting yellow. We expect the worst.