Dear Elsa,
I'm in mid-Saturn Return and things are rough. I spend a lot of time dealing with a horrendous family situation that's only going to get worse over the course of the next year (dying parent, needy remaining parent, sick relatives, other relatives being jerks, the list goes on). Two years ago, after breaking up with my last ex, I decided life was too hard for me to juggle a boyfriend with my family situation getting worse at the same time. So I decided to swear off relationships until after the drama settled down. I loved the single life, and was happy to be free of dealing with someone else's issues in addition to mine.
But now I'm starting to want a boyfriend again and it worries me. I don't think it'd be a good idea for me to date at this point in time, since I'm dealing with a lot of emotionally frying things. Plus, nobody new needs to be dealing with that from day one in a relationship. I fear I'd just be dating for distraction or "looking for a man to save me" because everything else is so stressful. And I can't pull off casual relationships, so that's not an option.
Anyway, do you have any idea what's up with this? Am I right to think dating in mid-trauma/Saturn return is a bad idea? Or should I do what *everyone else in the world* nags me to do and get a boyfriend?
Lonely
Dear Lonely,
I think you should follow your own heart, which, at this point, wants a boyfriend. It sounds like your boundary made sense two years ago, but things have changed and, in fact, they change constantly -- whether we notice or not.
Now regarding your Saturn return and this serious time in your life, I wouldn’t worry about it. If you are not meant to meet a man… well then, it won’t happen, will it? You’ll head down a path only to run into doors that slam in your face.
And this boyfriend? Well it could be he will support you through your crisis. He could be exactly what you need and deserve after going it alone for so long. And he could be a Saturn figure himself. Older. Or just plain wise. See what I’m saying? This next boyfriend will be nothing like the last.
So I say, go get the man, if the universe permits. Put yourself out there and see who shows up, understanding there will be no accidents.
Good luck.
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