The Kernel of the Corn, Dave Hogberg, asked and ye responded. In a nutshell (heehee), Dave took on a local columnist, whom he fondly calls Ms. Crunchy Granola Pants:
- her most recent column is just too good to pass up. In this one, she talks about shopping for a "Relief Kit for Iraq." She uses each item she purchases as a metaphor for the likely war against Saddam and (of course) how terrible America is. For example:
I pick up a bottle of shampoo and some hope that conditions in Iraq will soften. Life for the ordinary person has been hard. Can human compassion reach across borders and begin to heal the hardships of sanctions?
I pick up a box of powdered laundry detergent and some hope that we are willing to see our own dirty laundry. Who sold Iraq her weapons? Who has used weapons of mass destruction? Can we learn from our soiled history?
Although my own contributions were cast aside like soiled tampons, that's okay becuase I didn't follow the rules. So there. Dave has picked his winners:
- Some, of course, focused on oil. I enjoyed these the best:
I pick up a three pack of Dove Soap on sale for $3.19, (yeah me) and think about the itching between my shoulder blades caused by dry skin, and wonder if Saddam too has an itching between his shoulderblades, seeing as that is where the first bullet will probably enter during the massive-illegal-chickenhawk-international bullying and rape of the Iraqi people that probably ends in nuclear war when it's just for oil and lumber and making Amerika a fascist state because Cheney is an evil warmonger go Kyoto Protocol Wellstone was our JFK Bush was selected!-Jim
Article comments
1 - Cal Ulmann
N.Z. Bear cheated! I want a recount. The rules specifically stated it had to be about how awful America was.
2 - Kattie-Facist
I picked up a box of noodles yesterday and decided that after they were boiled, they reminded me WAY too much of the limp, spineless liberals who will cower and be defeated before rising to protect and honor this wonderful country. Once I added a little marinara sauce, it reminded me of how Saddam will look when he's all bloodied by the people of his country... you know, the ones he tortured for 30 years?.... Mmmmm... Bon Apitite' :)