Alternate Designation: Failure Gonna Put Mo Hair On Ya Chest, Boy
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Of the three fluorescent lights in my work cubicle, one buzzes noisily. When an Info-Tech guy sits at my computer to install new software, they usually ask, "Doesn't that buzzing drive you crazy, man?"
I start to laugh inside. Well, maybe it's more like the chuckle of a sinister villain waiting for his plans to come to fruition. You see, I already know I'm crazy. But not like your Uncle Nick who sawed his car in half because his team missed the playoffs. No, my crazy is self-inflicted, a detachment from reality that most creative folks know all too well. Because reality says: the odds are stacked against you succeeding on a creative level. No matter what the field is—music, writing, painting, illustrating—we will most likely fail to live up to our expectations. I am presently part of that statistic, but I have come to accept this as unavoidable. To which I laugh again.
People throw around the cliché 'glutton for punishment' when it comes to those who try many creative endeavors without success. But this is only said because of our endless quest for fame and money. The two determinants of success convolute our collective arts, our whole creative process. They cause the natural inclination in people to try and market everything, so we can buy luxury cars, mansions, platinum toasters, have our face whored out on Spin and People. Because who the hell wants to dwell behind a desk plugged into a computer all day, working for a company that could replace us tomorrow?
While our culture caters only the creative success stories, that's no reason to see it as defeating. It is the process and the production which should be the focus. We should be just detached enough from reality to keep being imaginative in our daily routines. No matter how many times it burns us. That is creative psychosis. That is why I ride into the cardboard sunset backdrop that's staple-gunned to the wall. Because I can always get up and search for that real sunset.
Article comments
1 - Aaman
The way to dusty death, and all that jazz...
Fine musings.
2 - Mary K. Williams
I liked what you said. Nothing wrong with being a realist. I do feel that the measurement of success is subjective, like so much else.
I think success is in the process, not always just in the product.
The following has been attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, but evidently there's controversy over who really sait it first.
"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."
It's a little off topic from the discussion of creativity, but it's still something to think about.
3 - Mark Sahm
Thanks Aaman and Mary.
MKW, as for the Emerson quote--- I definitely agree that laughing helps the creative process, success or not. Sure, it may be a defense mechanism to laugh at your failures, but it beats the hell out of being depressed about it.
I never breathe easy though.
4 - Mary K. Williams
Mark Says: "Sure, it may be a defense mechanism to laugh at your failures, but it beats the hell out of being depressed about it."
I'll drink to that! : )
5 - Nukapai
What a lovely post. Altough I can relate (oh, definitely!), I'm not sure if what you describe is the psychosis part. I think what you describe is the catalyst - the psychosis happens afterwards, when some creative people begin to believe their own hype and forget the buzzing light at the desk.