Dear Elsa,
I only want what I don't have.
For the longest time, I thought I needed a steady relationship to make me happy. Now that I have that, I miss being single. I find myself resenting my man, and I don't want to have to hate him. I feel like I'd be stupid to throw this relationship away. He's a wonderful man and no one has treated me as well. But I am just cranky and spiteful whenever we're together.
What's wrong with me?
Thanks,
Unhappy
Dear Unhappy,
I feel for you. What you have here is a complex problem and you’re right. This guy is irrelevant. By that I mean, your struggles are internal and he’s just standing there. And it won’t matter if he stands there, stands on one foot, or stands on his head, you are going to suffer like this until you take some action which is fairly dynamic.
Now this is not a forum where I can analyze your situation in depth, but I can isolate what I think is causing you the most grief and perhaps offer you a some direction.
Mercury in your chart is highly, HIGHLY stressed. Mercury rules the mind and look at you. You’re thinking is hideous. Hideous meaning it’s creating all this chaos and pain for you. In a way, you’re too damned smart, you know? You want to think your thoughts but you’re hindered (Saturn) and tortured (Pluto) and not only that, there are too many of them (Jupiter)!
So this is where I would start to try to effect some relief. You need to get a handle on your mind. You will have to learn to control it to some extent… get it working for you. I would recommend you get a therapist. TALK therapy, not a drug. Because your mind…well it’s one hell of an instrument you’ve got there, if you can just learn to play it.
So see if you can do this. Slow yourself down and think about your thinking. Not what you think, but how you think. And why you think the way you do. Because your chart suggests a formidable intellect, if you can just tame that fucker.
Good luck.
~~
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