There was no problem. Papamian wanted all of us four brothers and sisters to have good education. And then I lived in a girl's hostel in Aligarh. But now when I remember, there indeed were restrictions for being a Muslim girl. There were fifty advices of what-to-do and not-to-do once in Aligarh. And we were not allowed to visit the homes of our girl friends there. Dupatta (a scarf or covering for the head and upper body worn by women) was very important. We just could not go out without a dupatta. Our lives revolved around it. However inside the hostel, we were relatively free. We could even wear jeans!
Your description sounds so normal. It could be the life of any Indian girl. The general impression among the non-Muslims is that Muslim girls live behind black burqas and that their life is very tough. Perhaps you are an exception.
Well, I don't know. But yes, there are problems. Sometimes our religion comes in between. It restricts us. Sometimes there is confusion because of this. We get scared if we could be doing anything wrong. That it might be at variance with our religion. My younger sister wanted to be a dancer. She even wanted to become an actress. But Papamian did not allow it.
What about purdah?
It is a religious thing. But we are not forced to wear purdah. My husband has no problems. I go to gym, exercise on treadmill at home, and go for evening walks. It's fine. But when we go to Kaimganj, there things are different. If we go out there, we have to wear a chaddor. However now customs are relaxing. You know what Mayank: In Kaimganj, we do not feel comfortable outside without a chaddor...
Was yours an arranged marriage?
Yes, of course. (Laughs)
But were you consulted?
Yes if I would not have liked Avsaar Mian, my parents would had dropped the idea and looked elsewhere. But I liked him. He is very nice. I can shout at him for ever and ever but he has never raised his voice at me. Inshaallah.
Your life may be different, perhaps because you come from a wealthy family. But what about the general condition of Muslim women? Do you know a recent survey has revealed that only one in 101 Muslim women in India is a graduate?
Is it so? Very bad. But Islam doesn't stop women from doing all sorts of things. Take that famous bar dancer from Bombay - Tarannum. And then there is Tennis star Sania Mirza. And take me - a house wife. We all are Muslims. Only your religion can not define the life you chose for yourself.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - kaif ali khan s/o Mr. aftab ahmed khan
WOW I m very impress with your discaution.
i m also a kaimganj pathan and i want to see
a moderate kaimganjy pathan .
i m study in class 10th in c.p school o.k
allahafiz..................
2 - nasruddin shah paikar
Falak Salam!
i have to say that it is very nice and meaningful interview, just i would ask you that, if you will not use the expression: Mislim terrorist, because these two are completly different from each other, terrorist can, be Mislim non Muslim, indian pakistani, Afghani, American, and so far.
with best regards
paikar from Afghanistan, residing in canada.
3 - asif khan
hiii ,
i really appreciate the way falak and khaleda apa described the muslim women in india and in kaimganj . i believe to be a strong muslim and a strong indian . i really thank mayank to give a little exposure to my home land KAIMGANJ..
ASIF /. SHAHID / DUBAI
4 - kaif ali khan
salam i am kaif ali khan s/o Mr.Aftab ahmed khan.
its my second comments its very very nice inter.i really appreciate u.
i m imprese u so i want to meat u.
ALLAHAFIZ.....................
5 - Reem Ali
I am a doctor in Moscow, hailing from india and belonging to the same place as ms.Fallak.i think that this article just does not do any justice to my muslim society.its mispercieved by this lady herslef.she whatsover does not have the truth written because thats what not it is.
i am highly dissapointed by reading this article.please choose ur interviewees correctly,one lady can give a bad impression to the whole society.
6 - ASHRAF
SALAM
MY ANCESTERS WERE FROM SHAMSHBAD NEAR TO KAIM GANJ.THEY FOUGHT FOR FIRST WAR OF INDEPENDENCE OF INDIA AND HAD TO LEAVE THE CITY 1857.
ANY ONE HAVE LIST OF 4-5 GENERATIONS WITH NAMES MURAD ALI KHAN/KHUDYAR KHAN
[Personal contact info deleted]
7 - shahab almualim
i m very close to this family. i knows them personally.i also belongs to kaimganj.
8 - miraj khan pardhan lalbagh
sab jhooooooooooooooooooooooot bola gaya hai
9 - shafeeq
i dont want to disclose my name i m very close to this family as i know whatever is written in this interview is not truth. Falak i think at present your family is not renowned family peoples knows your family as a currupt family doing bussiness of suttkhore.whatelse i write in praise of your family.as you put light on muslim lady what Mr reem said i totally agreed with him.
10 - Miss Reem
For your kind information i am a female,not to get confused with the gender.I have heard about their familes.I am very sorry to tell but their behavior is highly disappointing.Specially the male population belonging to the muslim families in kaimganj are exploiting innocent girls!i can not describe them as 'Muslim' from any angel,even non-Muslims are much much better than them.And it seems they will never change and keep exploiting themseleves and others!They should go around with the logo "BEWARE OF US"
11 - Inam Ali / Jabeer khan / Shams Ali / Jazib Khan
This is for Miss REEM - First of all i just want to know whats your home town & if you are a kaimganji than i am sorry to say that you are totally wrong, being a kaimganji muslim male & a Brother i know how to treat with our sisters and Mothers.we are sorry and totally disagree with your views if you are a kaimganji
12 - Reem Ali
To misters Inam Ali / Jabeer khan / Shams Ali / Jazib Khan,
i am happy to tell you that i am NOT a kaimganji.i didnot, whatsoever, mean to hurt your sentiments to be exact.what i meant was the views of this particular miss interviewed, are tottaly abhorring. from when does questioning a single lady, does a religion be represented?
what makes me angry are the pretentious nature of such people.i wrote on this blog because i know how her family and some of her family's men are.
being a Muslim and following your thoughts on your religion is meant to be. but why give views that are so non-coherrant?
i donot target you or anyone of your families.what i said is in general, so no hard feelings.
everyone can have a say of her/his mind , for freedom of speech is rather a deemed aspect.
13 - sahil
Asslamualikum…After reading Miss Reem's comment! I want to tell you that being a human, a true Indian Muslim and a kamganji I knew her from my childhood, personally she is a good lady her great grand father laid the stone of kaimganj Jama Masjid (Mosque). He was a very gentle, respected, historic and religious person in our town but now things are completely changed and at present they are known as the most corrupt, Unrespectable and arrogant people and I don't want to discuss regarding her father's family business.
14 - sahil
I don't know that how M/S Reem knows about her family and her family male's but in your last two comments-
First comment, "kaimganji Muslim males are exploiting the innocent girls! I can't describe them a Muslim from any angle, they should go around with the logo" Beware of us" For your kind information that kaimganji Muslim male's are much much better than the Muslim's living in the north frontier of Islamic countries like Pakistan and Afghanistan. The way they treat their ladies are ridicules. I can't describe in words and I am thankful to Allah being a true Indian Muslim.
15 - sahil
First comment, "kaimganji Muslim males are exploiting the innocent girls! I can't describe them a Muslim from any angle, they should go around with the logo" Beware of us" For your kind information that kaimganji Muslim male's are much much better than the Muslim's living in the north frontier of Islamic countries like Pakistan and Afghanistan. The way they treat their ladies are ridicules. I can't describe in words and I am thankful to Allah being a true Indian Muslim.
16 - sahil
Second comment, "I am happy to tell you that I am not a kaimganji" there is nothing special to be a non kaimganji. But we are Muslim and being a true Muslim you must be apologizing on above statements. Now I am inviting Miss Reem to visit our great land I will show you the respect of kaimganji male's towards the ladies and I am sure that after visiting our land you must be change your statements towards the kaimganji
17 - sahil
Here I want to ask Mr. Mayank that why you non-Muslim people always think "Muslim girls live behind the black cloths (Burqas) and that their life is very tough" even the truth is, in whole world highly qualified young Muslim ladies are wearing this dress and they are feeling much safer and comfortable as compare to others. Now owing to pollution in metro cities non Muslim ladies are also covering there face before leaving their houses, it doesn't mean that their life is tough.
18 - sahil
This is my request to people like Mr.Mayank to avoid these personal interviews that, one person can't give you the right view of the whole society.
On some points I am agree with M/S Reem first "a single person can't represent any religion.
19 - sahil
Secondly in her interview she describe her family that how rich and renowned they are but she forget that from 1952, after passing a bill in Indian parliament, nobody was landlord and now all landlords are farmers.
20 - sahil
Falak please don't compare your family with late Dr. Zakir Hussain,s family. Your family exploits the poor Muslims they never serve the Muslim community.
21 - sahil
Here I want to introduce two kamganji families who really serving their kaimganji community, one is Mr Shaiq ali khan & Brother and second is Late Mr.Sultan Shah Khan & Sons.
In last I am literally very sorry if I hurt anyone in my above comment……FE Amman Allah.
22 - Reem Ali
ok mister sahil.u seem to be pretty upset for your obvious reasons.why i bothereed to write on this bog only ALLAH knows.i dont care what falak or other people say.but i hate it when they PRETEND.MY FATHER THIS,MY MOM THAT AND MY FAMILY BLAH BLAH.
the kaimagnji mentality does so last not for ever.
what lies beneath,is seen to the world,the only thing coherrent to the thoughts being the people not commenting for their deemed self respect. tell me who would steep so low as to de honour thyself infront so such people who donot know the 5 pillars of islam?and here they are, Lo and Behold.talking about the muslim women and their supression as if their naked clothing represents those who stay in the sancity of the hijab.
what do they know?and who in the world did mayank think he was going around asking his family freinds things they dont know and neither does he?
God bless those who even encounter this,for i have a feeling they will be ever so shocked into saying nothing and leaving behind with their heads bowed on the dishonest and lies that they percieve upon the chnace seeing of this article.
23 - sahil Ali
Again you use the word kaimganji mentality this is my suggetion to u to please keep away from these words coz u don"t aware of whole kaimganji u just know her family and on behalf of that u can't justified our people.
24 - tufail
Salam alikum,
i am a french tour escort, i really appriciate ur ideas about our relision..
25 - sarah
no any womem like you can explain our religion. you have no right to represent religion in thiz way.