For a few years after that accident I would avoid, whenever possible, driving in snow. It would remind me of that incident, and I did not want to be reminded of that loss of traction, that loss of control.
But I gradually realized I was letting the fear win. And the only way I'd ever become comfortable driving in snow is to just keep on trucking, as the saying goes, and the longer I do it without incident the less the fear.
But there was one difference between driving in snow and driving with regular traction. When I would drive in snow I would turn off the radio because I viewed it as another distraction.
I wonder now if that too was a way of exercising the limited amount of control I had on the car. I could not easily control the car on snow but I could control whether or not the music was playing on the stereo.
There is much we can’t control in this world. Car accidents serve as a terrible but effective way to put our lives in perspective.
In my case it also made me come to grips with three facts: I don’t want to have any more accidents, I care way too much about my car stereo, and I think I have finally conquered my fear of driving in rain and snow.
Article comments
1 - Matthew Milam
I think you've developed a healthy fear of the unknown and conquered it. If that's a good answer.
2 - Scott Butki
Yeah that's a good way of looking at it.
3 - A.L. Harper
You can't let fear rule your life. You just have to push past it.
4 - Aaron Fleming
Very interesting.
Might I be audacious enough to mention J.G Ballard's novel Crash? It certainly has a lot to say on the topic of car crashes, as unpleasant as much of it is.
5 - Scott Butki
I put a link to the Crash movie, the one adapted from Ballard's book? I wasn't able to read that book.
Did you read it?
Thanks, A.L. That is true about fear.
6 - Aaron Fleming
Nah, wrong Crash. That's Haggis' race film in your link, David Cronenberg did the adaptation of the Ballard novel. They're very different, one is a lot of common sensical nonsense about race relations, while the other is about people who get their sexual kicks from car crashes.
It's a cool idea, and experimental and provocative, but rather unpleasant - thus with Cronenberg being my favourite director and being a fan of Ballard I care for neither book nor film. Just doesn't click with me, but check them out anyway.
7 - Scott Butki
i put links to both Crash movies - the race relations one and the weird sex one.
I like some of JG Ballard's books. What was the one about a high rise building with class warfare occuring vertically? Fascinating writer.
8 - Aaron Fleming
Ah, ya did indeed man, apologies. Yeah High Rise is a great novel, all about regression to a primitive and instinctual mode of living, good stuff!
9 - Scott Butki
What's your favorite Ballard novel?
10 - Aaron Fleming
Of the ones I have read, which I won't pretend to have been a great deal, The Atrocity Exhibition has to be the one. Mad and surreal, I don't know if you've read it, but I'd recommend it for all those who enjoy the likes of Naked Lunch.
11 - Scott Butki
I skipped that one because I need more of a structure than that one seemed to have.
He has an amazing imagination
12 - Scott Butki
I had one of those moments today where my heart just stopped:
An envelope to me from a district court.
Ok, I thought to myself, what crime did I commit that I don't recall committing? Or is this the worst time ever for a jury summons? Or what?
Turns out it was a subpoena - didn't know they could do those via the u.s. mail - to appear at a trial for the guy who caused this crash.