How To Hide a Phone Mast describes the myriad of ways that cell phone masts have been hidden: "They are being disguised as chimneys, clocks, drainpipes, telegraph poles, and even weathervanes." A new product is on the way, no doubt from the same company that provided Inspector Clouseau's magnificent costumes, that disguises phone masts as trees.
I thought I saw a tree following me around the other day. I spoke up to it, telling it to get off of my ass. This lady walked by right when I was berating the "tree," and I was like, "I'm practicing for a role in the Vagina Monologues." I didn't even mean it in a sexually harassing way (the way I just said that makes it sound like I often do mean things in a sexually harassing way, but I promise you that I only sexually harass trees ("Hey, nice ash," and such comments)). The woman so distracted me that I lost track of the "tree" and it disappeared.
I'm now suspecting that the last lady I dated was actually a phone mast. It would explain so many things (such as her insistence on standing on our table at the pub and doing a sexy gyrating dance. She wasn't dancing or trying to gain my attraction--she was trying to process extra phone waves).
Nothing is as it seems. Trust no one. And make sure it's a real tree that you are talking to.
Article comments
1 - Dwaine AKA Scooter AKA D.J.
Wow. That was very interesting and informative. You shouldn't trust pencils either, Dirtgrain.