Another Baby Boom
What is it with all these unplanned pregnancies, already?
Tune in to Jerry Springer or Maury. So many women trying to figure out whom the father of their child is. So many men denying they had anything to do with it. Cut to the cute, innocent baby who is the unwitting cause of all this sad commotion. Fortunately, DNA testing is a giant leap forward - not only in quickly uncovering the truth of the matter, but in saving some other poor innocent souls from death row for good measure.
When I was in college, I had a number of, well, brief encounters. But I always had the foresight to dutifully wear my diaphragm. I never wanted children, never wanted marriage — despite two long-term relationships. The first one lasted 20 years. The second one has seen seven years and counting. Maybe if I'd married these men I would have jinxed it. In any case, I was always a maverick and hated every cheesy wedding reception I ever attended. So bourgeois, so predictable, and so likely to lead to divorce, along with children who are traumatized by bitter custody battles.
My boyfriend BG has an even more colorful past, including two marriages, various relationships, and countless dalliances. Back in the day, STDs were not as much of an issue as they are now, so BG sometimes neglected to wear his "party hat" - his nickname for condoms. Generally, it was because the woman in question supposedly was on the pill or claimed she was infertile. Nevertheless, as a result, BG's parents probably have at least one grandchild out there somewhere they'll never know about.
In the case in question, the woman claimed she was on the pill, but I guess she forgot a dose or ten. Granted, BG made every attempt to do the honorable thing. He offered to marry the woman he had apparently impregnated who already had one child from a previous relationship. But she had no desire for marriage and indeed intended to abort the baby. However, being the wild party girl she was, after gathering funds from friends to get an abortion in another state, she instead checked herself into a hotel room for several days and got good and drunk. (Very healthy for the baby to be, I might add.) Eventually, she gave the child up for adoption. Hopefully, s/he got a good home, but I shudder to think what all that pre-natal alcohol might have done to the poor child's system.
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