Deciding that his place was a lot more secure now that he had made an arrangement with the owner, Sam choose to simply return to his work. It wasn't long before he felt the not unexpected arrival of somebody beside his table.
"So, are you a writer of some sort?" Tom's voice was coolly arrogant, as if he wasn't really interested in the answer, but had only dropped by out of sympathy for a stranger and was making conversation out of the goodness of his heart.
Sam looked up at the turned-up nose and the eyes staring down it towards him from under a wide-brimmed Fedora: "Of some sort? Yes, I suppose I am a writer of some sort," Sam replied with perfect honesty.
"I'm a poet," the other's voice took on a resonance that had been missing earlier, as he proclaimed these words. As Sam got to know Tom, he began to recognise the voice he used when talking about the craft. Some witches of course, will object to the use of the word craft in these circumstances, thinking they have sole proprietorship of self-righteously fuelled pretensions and pronouncements utilizing that word. But they weren't the only ones capable of diminishing a word's meaning through appropriation.
After that announcement, he had sat down with Sam and proceeded to regale him with tales of the trials and tribulations of being a writer. This would be the first time he heard about the great conspiracy to deprive Tom of the opportunity to even have has work looked over by a publisher and agent. It would not be the last.
In spite of his writing, Sam must have seemed safe enough for Tom to invite to the table, because the next day as he entered the café, a chair was proffered and room was made for him on Tom's right-hand side. Sam had been sitting here, long after his apartment had been finished, day after day, week after week, and month after month in the hopes that what was about to happen might just be possible.
He'd stopped bringing his laptop months ago, much to Tom's approval, but today he had not come empty-handed. He had a business-sized envelope made out in his handwriting, addressed to himself, in his pocket, which he hadn't mailed. It contained an offer to publish the novel he'd been writing.
He'd been carrying it for a week now, in the hopes of Tom making his speech. As the new muse had yet to hear of the foul plot to deprive the world of Tom's poetic musings, Sam knew that the moment would not be delayed much longer. Although three weeks was a long time for Tom to wait, Sam had faith that he would not be able to resist his new audience for much longer. What other excuse could he offer for never bothering to actually set pen to paper?
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Rohan Venkat
Another great one from the Gman.
Keep it up!
2 - Thomas M. Sipos
Funny stuff. Is this a short story you've been shopping around, or published somewhere as part of a collection?
3 - gypsyman
Actually it's just something that I sat down and wrote this morning. I had been ranting about people like this in a comment over on a post by John Spivey, and last night I thought there might be a short piece in it.
So this morining I decided to see if it would go anywhere, and that's where it went.
gypsyman
4 - Kevin W
I hate to be negative but I must say that this story is of poor quality. It is long in useless description, shifts in narrative, uses synonyms inappropriately, lacks any real insight into character, lacks flow as story is blocky/choppy, and the plot is wholly uninteresting.
I have come to expect this from "writers" who do reviews and who try to cut their teeth with fiction. I would say to the author, go back to reviews. Or, understand what it takes to write fiction before you throw something like this up for all to see.
If you're looking for comments, you've got mine. And if you're looking for praise, better get used to rejection.
5 - Thomas M. Sipos
The story can be improved, fleshed out here, tightend there, but it's quite good for a first draft that was just thrown up.
The "dramatic arc" could be expanded. The story is mostly a beginning and a quick ending (which is foreshadowed too early), and no real middle. It can use more of a middle, leading us in one direction and then twisting into another at the end.
But its observations are funny, and funny goes a long way.
6 - gypsyman
Sigh, everyone's a critic. You got anything you've writen you want reviewed Kevin?
gypsyman
7 - Kevin W
That's funny that you instantly run to what you know. I told you, if you can't take it then get out now, because you lack any real talent.
You can hide behind you tired mockery of people who don't agree but in my years of publishing, yes I'm a published author, (and no I don't need your review to help my sales, I'm doing just fine-plus I have real reviewers asking for my work not some blog hack.)but you need talent first before you can pretend to be superior to your critics.
I'm saving you a lot of pain by being as honest as I can. Your story was lacking, and if you find it okay to post when you have only done a first draft then you are very ignorant of the process of writing. If you were serious, no one but you and your editor would ever see the first draft. But since you're not, then I guess you can post this tripe and get away with it.
Now, I must be off, my agent wants to talk about my upcoming book tour....
8 - TA Dodger
Kevin,
You know, it's not that there's anything wrong with it, but you should only stroke your ego during private time.
Not that we're not all really impressed... it looks huge.
*blushes*
9 - Kevin W
If you don't think there's anything wrong with it, then you obviously don't know much about the art of the short story. To you I say take some time out of your life and read authors who deserve the respect.
As for my ego, its necessary in the world of publishing. But you have to have the talent to back it up and my sales speak for themselves.
But, let's get it straight. I'm not the one who got upset because someone critiqued a story I posted on the internet. No, I'm the one commenting. So if you want to talk about ego, then you should really look at the author. To expect kudos for a first draft of a very rough story takes a lot of ego. And to complain when people don't agree takes a great deal of blind pride.
10 - T
Kevin, take it down a notch. Yes, the story needs some work but that's what we're all here for. Not every published author is a great writer, and that is more than obvious. You may have sales, but so did the ghostwritten Paris hilton book so if you want to be in the same category--feel free, but I think publishing is a joke and is centered on putting out low brow crap that will sell to the mainstream zombie audience.
I say keep it up G, you may never be published, I may never get published, but that doesn't mean you or I ever stop.
11 - TA Dodger
T,
Why are you actually giving reasons to back up your position? You should just claim to be an English Professor.
Even though there's no way to prove your claim while you're posting anonymously on an internet forum, people always will take you at your word.
Acting like an arrogant berk will only make your act more convincing.
12 - John Spivey
Kevin-
There's a great difference between a healthy ego (needed) and an inflated one (spare us). A healthy one doesn't need to bludgeon other people to make their point.
13 - T
What the hell are you talking about TA? I think I was defending G, not making excuses for anything. Get your head out of your ass.
14 - TA Dodger
I'm on your side, T. I was making fun of Kevin by suggesting(tongue firmly in cheek) that you should adopt his methods.
Sorry for the confusion.
15 - Celeste O.
Hey Kevin W., why don't you post the Amazon links to your high-selling books, so we can all bask in your greatness? Otherwise, you're nothing but a pen name and a bunch of hot air.
16 - T
Sorry TA, I get heated around arrogant people like Kevin. They piss me off.
I have to go back to my breathing and counting lessons now.....
thanks for clearing that up....cheers
17 - gyspyman
Kevin,
Of course your entitled to your opinion on my work, that's your perogative, but I'm also entitled to my opinion of your opinion. I tried to make a joke out of it, but obviously I only offended you, which was not my intent.
I wasn't completly joking in asking you about your work though. If you are going to judge me based on your experience as an author, isn't it fair that I'm allowed to read your work to gain an understanding of what your basing your opinion on?
This was a piece of fluff that I put out for fun, not for profit. It was instead of writing a boring article on the same subject. This is a blog site, not a literary site, and it is probably a good thing to remember that distinction when you comment on people's work here, not just mine.
The problem was not the fact that you were critical, but the manner in which you came across. Thomas made the same critique without making it an attack on me or judging my merits as a writer overall.
Anyway, thanks T.A. Dodger, and T for your support, and thank you Thomas for your critique and for understanding the spirit it was written in.
When I write a review I usually try to place the item in its proper context and judge it accordingly. Maybe that's something to consider Kevin before you attack someone again on a blog site.
cheers
gypsyman
18 - IgnatiusReilly
Kevin, stick to your guns and pay no attention to the lemmings.
19 - A.L. Harper
All the ego play here reminds me of a quote I have always loved. And I think some here may do well to heed:
“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
20 - elvira Black
Someone pointed out to me the irony in all this, to wit:
Kevin's diatribe seems to illustrate the very point of the post above. Kevin, where's a link to your book? What's your real name? Are you afraid to receive the kind of very harshly worded criticism for your own writing which you've displayed here?
21 - IgnatiusReilly
eb, you're missing the irony of the comments in the others' reaction to Kevin. Have someone explain it to.
Kevin doesn't need to prove anything. It's his opinion. I, too, didn't care for it. I would have commented sooner, but it took me a few passes to be able to read through the piece. There's no characterization other than stereotypes. Quick, without referring back to it, tell me one unique attribute of one of the characters. The story is as pretentious and as boring as the characters are, so I will give him credit for being able to capture the mood, but to what end?
If gypsyman only wanted to receive good comments, he should have only showed it to his mother. Why don't you guys create BlowSunshineUpYourAss.org and then you can all slap each other on the back and praise each other. Then, you can enjoy blogs like this and the chick who dumped her boyfriend, yet she still misses him. {sob}
22 - Mark Saleski
The story is as pretentious and as boring as the characters are...
you appeared to remember that the characters were pretentious. no characterization? you can't have it both ways, tho i'm sure you'll tell us otherwise.
blah,blah,blah.
puff, puff, puff.
23 - IgnatiusReilly
You get that they are pretentious in the first few paragraphs, and since they all are and they don't change that's not much in the way of characterization.
I noticed you failed to mention one character attribute. Thanks for proving my point, Mark.
24 - Mark Saleski
you know something, fuck that "proving my point" crap.
i'm not actually responding to your high-falutin' blather because, y'know what? i enjoyed the story...and no amout of your "look at me! look at me!!!" spewage can change that.
25 - ss
Nice sketch, GM. I think the 'people like me... people like us' line captures this guy's arrogance, but you could probably drop 'He nodded as if making some great concession'.
The pause and the glance at his friends before he corrects himself says it.
If you decide to flesh this out, you might want to make someone at the table more sympathetic, so there's a reason Sam comes back and defers to Tom for months. Or you could make Sam less sympathetic, and have him try to move in on Tom's 'muses'.
Just suggestions, of course.