Texas is just a warmer version of Hell. I burn in the Nazi war criminal section. In a region where the weather changes continuously, one might expect that people would tire of talking about petty cold and heat. Sadly, weather trumps war, impending global depression, and all manner of human suffering on planet entropy. Ultimately, people just need to talk about nothing for no actual reason and to dissect the obvious. I work with the general public; I get to hear all about it.
I've never understood the popular obsession with the weather. Aside from sports, weather is the most trivial segment in any newscast, yet Americans just can't live without an update. Many disbelieve meteorologists' projections and listen to them anyway.
I've also never found any good reason to follow the weather. I ride a bicycle to work and go shopping on foot. I should know the importance of weather conditions more than most drivers. Who in reality ever holds a picnic? Nobody ventures to parks unless it is to do “cardio” in the gayest outfit possible or to attack said joggers. Clearly, America is placing quite a value on what amounts to chump change.
North Texas has been stricken with what passes as a heat wave this time of year. Customers blither with joy over the sunny pestilence and expect me to join in on “praise and worship.” Warm weather, excellent. Perhaps we'll see putrid man feet spreading over those damned flip-flops John Q. Dirtbag treasures so. Already we see the cotton vulgarity that is the T-shirt littering the streets of Dallas like used condoms and syringes.
I rant because they rejoice. How intolerable of them.
Is nobody bothered by that sickening sweat? How about the insect plagues enabled by warm weather? Inexplicably, some people look forward to the heat of the year. By the same token, squalor abounds and many filth-enrobed hands will never feel the lather of those bars they were forbidden to embrace.
Scantily clad women often don't elicit thoughts of a tactile sampling. All the wrong bodies are showing too damn much. Shake what the Arches gave ya'. There you have it, a walking cautionary tale akin to waving lung disease photos at us tobacco fiends. Emphysema is looking like a real winner.
Article comments
1 - Joanne Huspek
I agree with you. Up here, the major concerns are snow and tornadoes. I've seen schools close in advance just because some weatherman said there would be 12" when hours later we would only get a few. It's like the forecasters don't stick their heads out of the window, they're glued to their computer screens.
I'm with you. Open the window and check it out. That's all I want to know.
2 - Dr Dreadful
Not much use if you're planning to go snowboarding at the weekend and need some idea of whether there's actually going to be enough snow* to make the two-hour drive worth your while.
* Or too much.
3 - Cindy
I started to read this with amusement. Then suddenly something started to go terribly wrong for me.
Then I realized, I had forgotten your name. It's Joe of the Neo-Illiteracy diatribe.
Back to this article: From the first whiff of misogyny to the later self-elevating pompousness of wardrobe comparison--all I can think is it must be tough for such a splendid fellow to suffer being a mere cashier.
4 - Joe Harris
Lovely Cindy, you amuse me once more. At my lowly job and beyond, dealing with people is a suffering you likely don't know. At least I get to entertain myself by writing such articles and hearing from people who somehow think they can take me down a peg. You'll never have what it takes and I'll never give a damn.
Please, comment again and often. I'm growing quite fond of you. Then again, I could get bored at any time.
5 - Cindy
Hey Joe. I like the idea of a sparring partner.
I'm not trying to diminish you though. I'm just pointing out what I see.