Worry about a new job is probably something a lot of people have in common, so I'm sure most of you can understand that trepidation. I also have to throw into the mix the consideration of whether or not I'll be able to manage whatever that position entails and being able to maintain my daily output of writing. With neither of the opportunities requiring anything close to a major time commitment it wouldn't normally be a concern, but it's been a number of years since things have been normal for me.
For reasons that are too tedious to bear repeating, I have only limited energy in any given day. Some days I've more than others, but it's usually pretty consistent. The major problem is that I can work steadily for a couple of hours, but then have to stop and have a nap. Occasionally work means things like taking care of life away from the computer (yes, it does exist believe it or not) but the result is the same. My day is broken up into chunks of working time and chunks of naptime.
When Aaman Laamba of Desicritics emailed me and asked if I would consider joining his team of editors, I was a little hesitant but willing to give it a shot. When Ashok Banker emailed me two days later to ask me to take over editing his Epic India web site, with the goal of making it less Ashok Banker and more literary, I stalled.
For the past week, while I have continued to write my daily posts and helped out with editing chores at Desicritics, I mulled over Ashok's offer. It was easy to come up with reasons not to take him up on the offer, but after a couple of days the reasons began to sound like excuses. The problem wasn't even so much that they were excuses. It was that I was making the excuses to me, not to anybody else.
After a week of this I figured out that my real problem wasn't any of the excuses I had prepared about not having time to write or not knowing what the hell it was I was doing, but that I was scared of making any changes in my life. The irony is that change is exactly what I need after close to two years of doing pretty much the same thing day in and day out.
What made me clue into that fact was that for the first time in two months, instead of only being able to write for the web and then feeling too drained to do any other writing for the rest of the day, I've been inspired to work on my novel. Since I heard first from Aaman and then from Ashok, I've had more creative energy than the last three months combined.
Article comments
1 - Jim
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