It is difficult to avoid worn-out clichés and stereotypes during the holidays. I’m sure I’m not even the first writer to say so! Phrases like “hustle and bustle,” “over-commercialization,” and “the real meaning of Christmas” leap into my mind, unbidden, crowding out any original thoughts.
That’s the point of holidays, isn’t it? We mark the new year not because anything special happens then, but as a touchpoint, a time to gather our thoughts, mark a point in time, and make plans for the next twelve months. We could just as easily have picked August 16 or April 4 to do that. We celebrate birthdays as a way to tell each person that, no matter how much we ignored them or argued with them for the last twelve months, at least once a year we think of them enough to make a phone call or send a card. Falling into familiar patterns is what holidays are for, and much of the fun of getting married and beginning a family is combining a bit of each spouse’s holiday traditions into a new hybrid set of traditions.
Christmas has always been my wife’s favorite holiday, while I’ve favored Independence Day for reasons I can’t quite explain. Birthdays were never a big event in my family, while my wife celebrates them ruthlessly. Together, we’ve built traditions that will last until our children each pair off and adapt them to their own families.
One of the new traditions we’ve established is the celebration of Advent. It’s an old tradition in the Christian church, actually, stretching back to the fifth century or earlier, but it’s new to us. For us, Advent helps to satisfy many of the common complaints about the modern celebration of Christmas: we may still overspend on meaningless trifles for December 25, or exert too much energy pursuing things that won't matter by the new year, but with Advent we'll have at least four Sundays of slowing down, sitting down, and talking together about what is important to us as a family.
Article comments
1 - Josh Hathaway
The Advent years were tied to the Catholic years in our house, but I remember them even though I was still quite young. Fondly. When the fam shifted from Catholic to Protestant, Advent went with it. Because of that, I always tied one to the other and never looked back.
I wrote a bit about my ambivalence towards the holidays today and how I wish it were different. i think it's great that your family has discovered a way to combat a bit of that.
I also love that your wife celebrates birthdays ruthlessly. That's just funny. Well done, sir.
2 - Phillip Winn
Josh, I think I might have been dimly aware of Advent -- MAYBE -- as a younger child, but dismissed it as a Roman Catholic thing. Turns out the modern trend of Advent was started by Martin Luther, though, and you don't get any more Protestant than that!
In any case, I remain thoroughly and whole-heartedly Protestant, and enjoy Advent heatedly.
I think adverbs add spice to sentences, and "ruthlessly" is honestly the best way to describe her passion for birthdays. :-)
3 - Dave White
As a kid I have fond memories of opening up the advent calendars one day at a time, especially if it was one of the kind that had a piece of chocolate behind every door...
4 - Phillip Winn
Ah, advent calendars. Is that one of those things I was supposed to stop doing when I grew up? Oops!
5 - Mary K. Williams
Very, very nice Phillip. Thanks for the simple reminder of not only what's coming, but what we have already and not just in December, but always.
This inspires me to dig out a great book called How Far to Bethlehem by Norah Lofts. It's out of print, but I was able to find one on the 'net. I think I might start reading it to the kids at our Youth Ministry.