Of course. Fat people are right up there with Klansmen, Nazis, and the Mob. Because what we look like is who we are. And if we are overweight, we are fundamentally flawed inside, after all. We lack self-control. We're overeating to sate some deep-seated psychological issues. We are greedy, gluttonous, repugnant. Every glance is a judgment, and our size means that we do not deserve respect or common courtesy. Remember the Clinton/Lewinsky debacle? For months on late-night TV, there was no being lower or more despised than the fat girl. Much less, the pretty fat girl (which somehow seemed even more offensive to some).
I have no illusions about being overweight. For one thing, I come from a long line of chubby people who look we were built to till farmland, pop out kids, and cook for twelve, all while cheerfully stomping up a mountain or two. I'm not thrilled about being a fat chick – I don't love my fat, find it empowering, or promote the joys of being overweight to others. I take it (and its associated health risks) very seriously and address it every day of my life. I exercise, I take my Synthroid (I have hypothyroidism, which combines with genetics to make my weight problem even more fun), I try to eat healthily.
But my weight is something I've always battled and will probably always have to struggle against for the rest of my life. At least for now, being overweight is part of who I am. Meanwhile, fat or not, I'm still pretty cute. There's still plenty of life to lead while I keep trying to get to the land of Thin. And whether or not I actually accomplish it, does this mean that I matter less, count for less, in the meantime? Must I despise myself in the process? Why is it a requirement, over and over again in the media, that fat people hate themselves?
I don't glorify obesity or its health risks. But I do think beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and colors. I've certainly witnessed my share of stunningly attractive men and women who also happened to be overweight, both on the screen and in daily life. And attractive or not, when it comes to the media, I don't think the occasional fat person does any harm. I'm grateful to see diversity represented in every way, from skin tones to body shapes, from abilities to disabilities. I'm frankly just happy to see even a slight acknowledgment on TV that the overweight are no longer invisible simply because "no one likes to look at that."
Article comments
1 - High Heels
I enjoyed your article. I'm genuinely curious to know what form your "struggle" against overweightness has taken, as if it isn't "working", why look at it as a struggle at all?
If youre eating healthily and exercising regularly and taking meds for your thyroid condition then you're doing nothing different to skinnies like me (if I didn't eat healthily and exercise regularly I could be overweight, but never obese... I'm not able to get above a certain weight). Maybe you're just not meant to be thin, and maybe your health isn't at risk. Just a thought from a non-expert.
Anyway, a thought-provoking read.
2 - Ibod Catooga
Damn, I hate fat people and their whining about how it hurts to be fat. Lose some motherfucking weight, tubbies.
I did -- you can, too.
3 - Kate C. Harding
I'd say that last comment by Ibod Catooga would be considered a "personal attack." Any reason it needs to stay up on here?
4 - klondikekitty
I agree with Angela Harding's comment -- the previous comment by Ibod Catooga listed here should be taken off and considered to be a personal attack!!!
I thoroughly enjoyed this post, and agree with you that even though two thirds of Americans are considered to be overweight, tv cotinues to treat them as second-class citizens somehow!! Cavett needs a reality check!!
5 - Nancy
High Heels: in my case, the struggle against obesity has involved years of hopeless diets, manic workouts, being mocked & excluded by "normal" people to the point of harrassment & even mental torture, various drug regimens (fen-phen was a biggie), the humiliation of being treated like a freak, and finally, having my stomach mostly removed - not bypassed - in order to achieve a "normal" weight & improve my health.
I wasn't overweight because I loved candy & potato chips too much; I started being overweight shortly after birth. Among other things, along the way, I found thyroid did play a role - but not much. In fact, Medical Science still doesn't know what various components contribute to obesity. Brain chemicals certainly play a part, as does the thyroid, as do various other body stimulants, not to mention genetic inheritance & mutated/non-working genetic aberrations in individuals on specific genes, perhaps even more than diet & exercise, otherwise how & why would a skinny person be able to eat like a pig & stay skinny while living the life of a couch potato, while I gained weight just watching them eat, it seemed? Doctors will tell you (if they're honest) that even today no one knows why & how some of us gain weight horrendously (I'm talking obese, here, not just overweight) while others remain slim under identical conditions. Hell, they just figured out the brain is in the head, for that matter.
Alas, those currently alive were born too soon to be helped much, without going thru hell both socially & physically in addition to the punishment they have inflicted on them by their own traitor bodies. But fortunately someday help might be available to future generations to unlock the key without having to resort to dangerous drug regimens, diets, or surgery.
If you're 20 lbs overweight, your problem probably is that you eat too much & walk too little; if you're obese, chances are you actually eat very little, yet continue to put on pounds with little or no malfeasance on the part of your own behavior. In that case, diet & exercise will do very little. As my bariatric surgeon says, our own bodies run a marathon every day just living; it takes a Lance Armstrong-level of activity to use enough additional calories to burn that kind of fat. He calls obesity, "Stone Age Survivor Syndrome Gone Wrong".
In any event, ignorant & ugly comments & attitudes like Cavett's & Ibod's are out of order & should be deleted, IMO. It's the same exactly as hate speech against blacks or any other group.
I may now look "normal", but I'm still sick of the way overweight/obese people are treated, I'm madder than hell, & I'm not gonna take it any more - for me or them.
NB: over the past 3 years I've lost over 300 lbs & 12+ sizes. I now "pass" for "normal". But the mental torture & social ostracism I went through while I was severely overweight have left indelible marks on my psyche, as the various stringent diet & exercise programs (all of which failed) did my physical systems. If I were a vengeful person, I could wish sudden onset of obesity on Cavett & Ibod, when they reach a Certain Age. It happens commonly, & many of those who once mocked me now find themselves struggling to find clothes that fit, or seat belt extenders. All I can say is, it couldn't have happened to more deserving folks. What goes around comes around. Basta!
6 - alephnul
Sorry folks. As we say around here "We obey the laws of physics in this house". The laws of Thermodynamics are not suspended because you want a twinkie.
Mass and energy have to come from somewhere, and they have to go somewhere. You are not putting pounds on your hyperinflated ass by breathing.
Yes metabolism differs between individuals, but regardless of how efficient your metabolism may be, the fact remains that by reducing your caloric input and increasing your caloric output you can reduce your size.
If you are burning energy, that energy has to come from somewhere. If it is not coming from your current food intake then it has to come from stored reserves. It doesn't just appear from nowhere.
I am tired of hearing from the growing legions of the tubby that "I just can't do anything about it". Yes you can. Just push that burrito away and go for a walk. And quit whining.
7 - Sean
I, for one, gleefully accept Dick Cavett's resignation from public life. After all, we can't have ideas being spread around by a man who required electro-shock therapy to treat his mental illness, can we?
8 - Angela Mitchell
Hi -- I'm the author, and first of all thanks to everyone for reading the piece, and for your comments, positive or negative.
High Heels, good question. I do consider it a struggle, simply because I don't accept being overweight as my destiny, as the way I'm meant to be. I'd like to be thin one of these days. So I work on it every day of my life, while at the same time doing my best to like and accept myself as I am at the moment, as well (the media doesn't always make that easy).
Meanwhile, for those on the "stop whining" front, like alephnul or Ibod Catooga -- while I think the name-calling doesn't set you up as the most sensitive people alive, I would just like to point out that your comments actually help to make my point for me.
Read it again. This article isn't about me whining about being overweight, and how I can't fix it, and boo-hoo, poor me, etc. While I do think you're way too blithe about how 'easy' it is to lose weight (and it's obvious you've never had a weight problem in your life), that wasn't my point. The point was, Cavett says fat people shouldn't be seen on TV, that the media implies a level of acceptance there that isn't appropriate, to which I say bullcrackers. Try that with any other issue -- age, race, gender, and see how it flies. Nope.
So ultimately the article is about the fact that if you are overweight, the conundrum is that you are often treated abominably by society in a number of ways, on the excuse that it's more acceptable because your outer appearance signifies some inner flaws or issues. That it's "all your fault" anyway. Because unlike others with less visible problems that can severely impact their lives or health issues -- alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. (and who are often treated with sympathy), with weight, the "evidence" is visual. It's right there. In other words, You're overweight. Obviously you have no self-control. So you don't deserve to be treated politely or with regard for your feelings. Right?
Wrong. Just within the first few comments to this piece, you can hear firsthand about people who have driven themselves nuts trying to lose weight, who starve (hey, I did it for six months, it was awesome even if it wrecked my metabolism permanently), who undergo drastic surgery, anything to be thin.
The scientists are actually right about this: It is not the same for everyone, it is not always about food or overeating, and it is not always your fault. That doesn't mean the overweight should go out stuffing themselves with Twinkies while shrugging off the responsibility, but it does mean that there are genetic, chemical and other issus at work here that are just as intent -- in some cases -- on keeping certain people fat. That's just the way it is. Some of us will have to work harder to get slim than others. It sucks but it's life.
Cavett's snide little piece is full of jibes and name-calling, and says that the overweight don't deserve to be treated with respect, and that, in fact, they seem to want too much. He is angry that they can be seen at all. And that's offensive to me on a really deep level.
Thanks again for reading, and for the dialogue! It's much appreciated.
9 - Nancy
Good piece. It is needed to counter the ignorance of those who've never suffered. "...they count them cheap, those cliffs ... who never have hung there...." I'll bet they wouldn't be so smug if the subject were a problem THEY suffer from.
10 - Bill Sherman
This is just sad. Like you, I used to genuinely enjoy Cavett as a talk show host when he was at his peak - and to see him spouting this kind of crass intolerance is disheartening. Somebody remind me. Did Cavett ever once willingly interview Orson Welles on his show?
11 - Nancy
No, but I seem to remember him interviewing Paul Bocuse
12 - High Heels
Angela,
Thanks for your reply.
I stick to a MAINLY high-fibre low-fat "diet" (but I don't DO DIETING, most days I have a treat, some days I have lots)and regular exercise (I literally walk briskly up and down the fight of stairs in my house for 15 minutes several times a week, gradually increasing the amount I do, because I'm TOO LAZY to go to a gym). I'm size 10/8 UK (8/6 US),my pre-3-children size, and have no trouble maintaining it (apparently muscle burns fat at rest, and my legs have muscle.)
I CANNOT be a size 4, 2, or 0. I would literally have to be starving, it would kill me/land me in hospital in a short time. I strongly suspect that there are people who are size 14/16 for whom the same applies regarding 10/12.
So what am I trying to say? Well...
some people don't "deserve" the level of admiration they receive, and some people don't deserve the level of abuse they receive or give themselves.
13 - Nancy
An awful lot of this abuse can be laid squarely at the doors of A) the billion-dollar dieting/weight loss industry/scam, & B) the equally culpable fashion industry, both of which (whom?) actively promote the self-hatred of women for their own bodies, & the scorn of all for anybody not Darfur-skeletal, in order to line their own pockets. Too bad we most of us buy into it, because it's manipulation & greed pure & simple.
14 - Mary K. Williams
real good piece here. A lot to think about. I totally got your point that you're not trying to glorify obesity.
I think it's nice to look at pretty people and all, but it's also nice to see 'real people'. TV isn't likely to give us quite 'real' people, but it'd be nice to see males and females who aren't more representative of the audience - all body types.
15 - Diane Kristine
Great, well-written piece. Maybe all imperfect people should be locked in a cave so Cavett doesn't have to look at them and we don't have to accept their existence. Of course, he'd be locked in that cave too ...
16 - Elvira Black
Great piece...I too am shocked to hear Cavett resorting to this cheap shot, esp since he also has dealt with the vulnerability of a chronic mental illness, which is still stigmatized as well.
Our culture glamorizes thinness at the same time it glorifies unhealthy foods...turn on the TV and you see a constant stream of closeups of hopelessly fattening, albeit delicious looking meals. Of course, both fast food empires and diet/exercise programs make a heck of a lot of money--one, pardon the pun, feeds into the other perfectly.
And yes, it is quite true that others with addictions don't wear them on their sleeves in the same way overweight people must. Plus, when's the last time being overweight caused others to die, as in DUY's? And, as was also pointed out, there comes a time in many folks' lives, as they get on in years, where weight can become a problem even if it never was before, so being smug and critical can come back and bite one in one newly enlarged ass someday.
One thing I've also noticed is that overweight men seem to be much more accepted and represented in commercials and TV programs. I can't count the number of times I've seen examples of this--a visibly overweight husband exhibiting no guilt or shame, "married" to an attractive, thin woman.
In any case, thanks for a great and thought provoking read.
17 - Ginger Haycox
Angela;
I think due to your sensitivity about your weight, you've read Cavett's article as a slight, & it's not at all! Go back & read it again - I did. He shows concern about obesity & rightly so; he is concerned that it's being promoted by ad-men because too many Americans are overweight & the ad-men are using overweight people to represent the average American. We do not want kids to grow up accepting it's okay without making any effort to be healthy.
It's also obvious, to me anyway, that he is concerned that large people are being "used" as tokens to make reality TV ads. Yes, he does allude to the women appearing on Jerry Springer as heifers & if he said that only because they were heavy ladies, then it is cruel. But frankly, I think both he & I would call them that no matter what their size. They are pretty disgusting individuals & it's because of what they do & not how they look!
I grew up scrawny. I also got called names like stick girl & beanpole. So I worked at filling myself out & as an adult I had a home gym in order to build myself up a little. I never had a sweet tooth, being more chilies than chocolates.
Then I became disabled so I wasn't able to run & ride mountain bike & do all the other stuff I loved to do. Not only that, but I was put on two medications, one steroid based to help my lungs breath. That med began adding pounds to my smallish frame. I couldn't not take the meds because I needed to breathe. So I had to find something else to control my weight & I did.
I returned to my home gym & used my recumbent bike & my treadmill. No, I don't ride a mountain bike any more but I still pedal to health. And I don't run any longer - not even on the treadmill. But I have it set on a 6% incline & I walk at 3 MPH for an hour while watching TV or listening to music. I am 5' 3" tall & weigh 127 pounds. My doctor says I am incredibly healthy & that's pretty amazing for a person with a hole in their brain.
I am a perfect example of controlling your body weight from both sides, thin or fat. It can be done & it should be done, not for appearances but for your health. You see why I can't buy anyone saying they have given it everything they've got, because if they have, they'd have their weight to where they need it, or at least close to it.
18 - Laurie Siegel
My recollection of Dick Cavett is kind of vague. Your pain is so palpable and thats probably because of the high regard you have for him. Weight is a super-sensitive subject, especially for those with medical conditions, who have little control over the situation. I have often fantasized living in the era of Rubenesque Pulchritude. I've actually noticed a trend towards full figured women in the Fall fashion magazines.
Perhaps Cavett carries the weight of the world on his shoulders for not being in Carson's league and certainly not up to Parr. My guess is he is battling his own demons, used poor judgement - in fact- if anyone made comments that illicited deep anger, I would write a personal letter. I do it all the time. Try to see the humor in any situation. I try to see the humor in the human condition and in everything I do. Otherwise I would lose my perspective. It's not easy. Dick Cavett???????
19 - healthy woman
Like you Angela, I always liked Dick Cavett and was very dissappointed in his blog comments. How stupid and petty. I've struggled and agonized for 30 years about my weight. In retrospect, as I approach middle age,I say to myself, what a waste of valuble thinking time,what a stupid way to think, day after day year after year, imagine what I could have accomplished in my life if my mind had not been so cluttered with losing/gaining weight struggles! I now have young daughters that are beginning to start down that same destructive path. I really want to help them and others not do what I did.
I started an informational website let me know what you think
20 - REbooks
As a big Cavett fan, I was saddened to read of his nasty attitude toward the fat in your excellent article. As you write, it is particularly surprising given his experience with depression. The attitude is not completely dissimilar to the ignorant response of blaming a chronic depression sufferer of simply being weak. That is, it reveals a simpleton's view of fat: The fat are 100% culpable. Now, in addition to dehumanization of the fat at the hands of producers of teenager movies And others in the media, Cavett invites the intelligentsia to join the party. Shame on you Dick.
21 - Joey
First I'd like to say that I'm 50 pounds overweight. Fat is neither beautiful nor healthy. I much prefer the looks of someone who is healthy and fit over a fat person. I don't crusade for fat rights just because I'm overweight. I'm overweight because I don't excercise enough... period. I'm completely unoffended by fat jokes because, unlike race, gender, intelligence and physical disabilities, obesity is one thing a person can and should control. It's like smoking, you know you should change your lifestyle instead of trying to convice people it's cool. Either lose the weight or shut up and stop trying to convince people it's beautiful.
Dick is correct!