I've been using Catholicmatch.com for about three months now. It's similar to other online dating sites except one has an opportunity to talk about what elements of Catholicism one agrees and disagrees with.
According to the site, there is exactly one attractive single Catholic man in New York. His name is Ed. I'm convinced I'm competing with every other desperate woman of marrying age on the site for his attention.
More often than not, I get into fights with people in other countries, which apparently house stricter Catholics. I'm fighting with a 40something year old in Belfast with Catholicmatch.com as the bridge between us. See round one below.
Meet Hugh of Belfast, Ireland. I think he means "a la cart" not "alacare":
HI KATH I READ YOUR PROFILE WITH INTEREST AND AS A CATHOLIC MYSELF IM LITTLE TAKEN BACK BY THE WAY YOU BELIEVE IN THE CATHOLIC TEACHING OF THE CHURCH LED DOWN BY ST PETER HIMSELF NO ONE ELSE MY QUESTION TO YOU IS IS THE EUROPE DIFFERENT IN ITS TEACHING THAN THE USA? JUST THINK OF ROME THIS YEAR WHEN YOU SAW ONE OF THE BIGGEST TURN OUT EVER SEEN FOR A GREAT SAINT TO BE JOHN PAUL II WAS HE WRONG IN HIS WAYS I ASK YOU ? THE INPORTANCE OF THE UNBORN IS ALSO VERY INPORTANT IN LIFE ALONG WITH ANOTHER BIG ISSUE PRIESTS IT NOT FOR A PERSON TO BE JUDGEMENTAL IN LIFE ITS NEXT LIFE WHICH YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT WHEN WE ALL MEET THAT PERSON . WELL TO ME THERE IS ONLY ONE CREATER . PLEASE JUST CONSIDER THAT BEING A CATHOLIC IS NOT ALACARE. GODBLESS YOU AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS GO TO A WEB SITE ABOUT MEDJURORIE AND YOU WILL SEE AFEW THINGS IN THE CHURCH.
To which I replied:
Article comments
1 - Cerulean
There's a lot of Catholic males at the Vatican. Have you considered going there?
2 - Tan The Man
I wonder if there is atheist or agnostic dating services...
3 - Bennett
Where to start? No, on second thought, I won't.
Good luck, you may need it.
4 - Victor Plenty
All religious issues aside, if anyone you meet online thinks it's appropriate to communicate with CAPS LOCK on, don't just walk away.
Run.
5 - Nancy
He also needs to learn to spell; perhaps he follows the phonetics system. He also has a real self-esteem problem, hey? It's guys like that, give humanity a bad name. Other than that, he actually sounds like a member of the religious reich here in the US.
6 - Phillip Winn
Nancy, "religious reich" is a specious slur.
The guy clearly has issues, but it is worth noting that he didn't approach a random stranger on which to spew his view, but someone who represented herself as a Roman Catholic while not sharing traditional Roman Catholic views. In other words, from his perspective it's the hypocrisy that bothers him.
That said, I'm not a Roman Catholic, and so don't feel bound by the views of the vatican, nor by this guys insensitivity.
7 - Nancy
I stand by my slur, sir.
8 - Phillip Winn
Then you reveal gross ignorance.
The word 'reich' is commonly associated with Adolf Hitler, and it is clearly in that sense you used the term. That makes it specious, at least until such time as American evangelicals begin the system slaughter of ethnic groups.
In fact, however, 'reich' is merely the German word for 'empire' and the Holy Roman Empire was the first such 'reich,' with the Hohenzollern empire as the second, and Hitler's Nazi empire as the third. In that sense your use of the term is simply inappropriate on a large scale.
In either case, I'm glad you find comfort in libelous labeling, but I fear you will continue to wallow in ignorance until you're willing to look past labels.
9 - Rodney Welch
I'm with you, Philip. Nancy's an off-the-rack God-hater.
10 - Nancy
I know the word, what it implies, & what it means, thank you. It is a deliberate slur against the conservative religious nutcases currently running the GOP. Ich bin nicht shade.
11 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
ah, this Hugh is a fine Belfast lad. i tihnk you should marry him, by the sounds of things. he knows a lot about the pope!
12 - parker
Thanks for the laugh. Maybe you could find a guy at church? A lot of the bigger churches have singles events. They are very depressing, though.
13 - Cyborg264
I'm single and catholic and can't find anyone out there who I feel compatible with. Maybe you want to give me a try Kath....
14 - Spy boy
I used to be a peruser of Catholic Match. I have come to the conclusion that the most vocal people who use that site, such as the gentleman you corresponded with, have self esteem problems, and that included myself at one point.
Some people seem to be more in love with their religion, traditions or lack thereof, and their own opinions than with God and their fellow human beings.
No wonder they are still single...
If one marks him/herself as single and available on a website with probably 10000 active members and after several years, that person is still single, something must be wrong.
15 - Elizabeth
If you are a true catholic, or even genuineley nice person you would not have made such a disgusting response to his letter.
16 - STM
Come on Kath ... you're not trying hard enough. New York is full of bloody Catholics. It's Catholic city. About 90 per cent of its firemen are Catholics and the police aren't that far behind.
Try the Irish bars .... there are about five million of them between 14th and 59th streets. Hurley's, Scruffy Duffy's, McFaddens, etc, ad infinitum.
If you can't find a Catholic boy in there on a Friday night, either move to the Philippines or El Salvador and become a nun or move to Australia where about 40 per cent of the population are guilt-free Catholics with suntans.
If you choose the latter, stay away from my son.
17 - STM
Oh, and I forgot about little Italy and Brooklyn. If you can't be bothered with the Friday night pub crowds, or traipsing to Queens, go there for a coffee and you'll meet about, ooh, a dozen Catholics in the first 15 minutes as long as you know how to order a decent coffee (no soy decaf lattes or you'll be laughed out of the joint).
Also, you could get a list of all the Catholic Churches in New York and go to Mass at a different one every week and introduce yourself to people. Or join AA ... plenty of Catholics in there and most of them not as mad as the average New Yorker.
I'd say good luck, but I don't think it's luck you need. You just have to know where to look. Come on Kath, it's not that tough!
18 - Kath
Hey guys: wow, I wrote that piece a year and a half ago. Had no idea it would stir so much up. Thanks for your thoughts but this piece isn't really current anymore.
19 - Rosey
I belonged to catholic match once.....it kinda stunk