Prom Night Recollections
Silflay Hraka - Jitterbug Perfume - Today a sour reek emanated from her, so that I had the choice of either not breathing, or sending her to day-care half naked.
"Jesus, honey. You smell like poor people. " I told her
See You on the Funny Pages
The Eleven Day Empire - A Real Concession Speech - Ladies and gentlemen, the returns are in, and all hope is lost. My opponent has won this election. I have not called him to congratulate him; I would sooner tear out my own intestines with a fork than speak man to man to the lying bag of filth that the ignorant fools of this state have elected to the Congress.
Blogatron - How To Respond To A Centipede Infestation - The above studies can easily be conducted while standing on a chair or other raised surface, shrieking incoherently and gesticulating wildly, or while running down the hallway flapping one's arms and shouting, "Help! Help! Centipede! Centipede sighted in the bathroom! Request backup!"
MadKane - Tommy's Tune - (To be sung to "Alfie" by Hal David & Burt Bacharach.)
What's it all about, Tommy?
Why did Dems get such paltry few wins?
What's it all about,
When you sort it out, Tommy?
Are Dems meant to leak seats like a sieve?
Oh how did we fall behind?
Imao - New Agenda - So, now that Republicans rule the land like Saudi princes, what should be on their agenda? Here are my suggestions:
*New Tax Cuts: I want more money. Cut my taxes!
*Hippie Punching Act: Make beating up hippies a protected form of speech.
Ravenwood's Universe - We're not in Kansas anymore - I squinted and looked out across the parking lot. Then I saw it. It right there. It was perhaps 50 yards from where I parked my car and moving to the west. It was groaning and squealing, and making an awful racket.
Raving Atheist - 6,000 Years of Jewish Oppression Ended with Suspension of Alternate-Side of Street Parking Rules - Abraham Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League applauded the new law as "the end of vehicular anti-Semitism" and that "the New York City Parking Violations Bureau will now join the Pharaoh, the Catholic Church and Adolph Hitler in the dustbin of history."
Six Degrees
Solonor's Ink Well - Happy Minioning - There's been some confusion on just who's whose minion. So, in an effort to clear things up, I am posting this handy, dandy Minion Calendar,™ so you'll know which dark master you are to serve.
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